worth it
i haven't been feeling well. i don't really know what it is. i have a bit of an earache, headache, general malaise. my tummy is a bit off, but that may be unrelated, who knows. i didn't go to work on friday. i was sneezing in the morning so i thought i was contagious but that didn't continue so, i don't know. i just know i don't feel good and i'm bored. bored of my bed and bored of the couch. bored of tik tok, bored of mahjong solitaire.
so i did the dishes.
i spent a little time in the garden dead heading. picked my second cherry tomato of the year. while i'm dead heading there are tiny little flies landing on my ankles. i try to ignore them but they are tres irritating. one of the most irritating things about flies, is you shoo them away and they just come right back undeterred.
mom and i did go garage saling and took bethany's kids. i owed them all $5 for taking care of mei-mei and watering my garden while i was in oklahoma. (i did my first accreditation in oklahoma a week or so ago). we went to 3 garage sales and the biggest winner of the day was oriana who charmed us all. charmed me and mom into buying her things when her money ran out and charmed the people into giving her great deals. she was into it. at one place she was trying on butterfly runners (which i bought her) and also admiring some flipflops. the lady gave her 2 pairs of flip flops for free. i bought myself a pear pepper grinder a mesh sieve and a big ikea frame. it was nice to get out of the house.
i literally only spent one day at home. but it was enough.
mohammad has been in menbj visiting his family all week. luckily he can use his brother's wifi while he's there so we still have calls, but obviously they aren't our usual calls because there are always a lot of people around. i'm enjoying getting to know his mom more just from little interactions that mohammad helps interpret for us. they all think it's so cute when i say an arabic words. my arabic is kind of like baby talk.
it has been sooooo hot there. in the 40's. mohammad told me everyone sleeps outside. they have mosquito net tents that they sleep under. he sleeps in one and his mom and 2 sisters sleep in the other. early morning are the only cool moments and by cool, i mean our summer temperatures like 25 etc. i'm glad he can spend time with his family but i know he isn't totally comfortable. i think he is going home in the morning.
i feel restless, unsettled.
we handed everything in to the lawyer. it's a big accomplishment. well except 2 little things that i should be able to hand in next week. and except the one thing we've been working on and waiting for and can't seem to get these past 2 years. we are trying to go ahead without it. we are also still trying to get it. but multiple people in the government offices have said we can't get it. so we need miracles. i do feel that everything will be ok. i'm not sure how it will all unfold but i feel sure the Lord is with us and will help us.
in august it will have been one year since we were physically in the same location. it's hard. it's so hard. i'm so grateful for the internet and our daily connection i don't know how i'd survive without it. but also it's so hard to be apart. and not knowing how long the separation will be. every day i try to remind myself to trust in God and to wait on him. sometimes we talk about how long it's been and how at the start we were dreading being apart for 8 months. that felt like an eternity. and now it's been over 2 years... and yet i'm grateful for him every day. every day he is my joy and a gift in my life. so we keep on.
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