fizzle

monday was agressively peppy. today was slumpily blah.

i poured water down theresa's back after she sprayed my neck and face with water. gasps peppered the room. i felt like a bully but was unrepentant. it didn't feel the way i wanted it to feel though. neither light nor funny nor victorious. sometimes the 'crush your opposition' ethos i learned growing up doesn't transfer well in other settings. it is the fight of fight or flight and it can spark in a flash. almost involuntarily.

anyway. i felt bad for being bad if you know what i mean.

ross m. died. he was a long time member. used to work in the kitchen.  soft spoken, book lover, pants perpetually sagging ross. after i heard i wanted to talk to lisa about it. she used to be his housing worker. i had that feeling all day, kind of nagging me. i guess she knows. 

sadly ross had no family. we were his family.

we decorated our floor for Christmas.  that was kinda fun.

my thumb is bum.