check-in

it's time for bed but i just came by to say i had a good day. i had energy and i felt good in my body. plus i liked my outfit and my hair. i slept until almost 7 and so my walk was during the sunrise. mohammad was in good spirits too. he read my blog to me in arabic, commenting jovial asides as he went. our time together felt nice.

i have some catch up to do at work after my time away in training. so i stayed a little late. today is lunar new year so there was a big celebration going on for the social. tomorrow mom and i are having jesaidy and leilani for supper. we are continuing with the pizza trend so we discussed supplies and toppings. mom will have to buy more naan. i will have to bring some more things downstairs. olives, sauce, prosciutto etc. we will have a personal pizza party.

i had some moments of anxiety today. it was not a usual reaction for me. suddenly my heart beat fast and my ears buzzed. it was just as i was sending an email that i knew would not be received well by the recipient but must be sent just the same. i paused and checked in with myself and said a little prayer. no, i still felt i was doing the right thing. i still had that reassurance, that warm feeling of yes. so i went ahead. but i've been feeling physically anxious off and on ever since, if that makes sense. it's a physical feeling of anxiety in my body. but not by my thoughts or emotions. i think it's the new medication. anxiety can be a side effect.

there might be snow flurries tomorrow.