Thursday, June 23, 2016

a few things of note before i sleep:

1. i found a recipe for shepherd's pie that i like. this is significant.

2. a fluff of molten mashed potato blistered my uvula today. why does burning hot food just sit there at the entrance to the esophagus.  if you're not going down, by all that is right and good COME BACK.

3. i made my own bao today and i kinda rocked it.

4. I've had about a week or so reprieve from vertigo but it appears to be back to say a final farewell perhaps. nudge nudge.

5. a fully rotten almost liquified potato has the power to induce my gag relfex like nothing else does. tuck that tasty bit of info away for later.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016


 so the day came.  i did my dishes.  i emptied the food compost bin.  and i think the flies are on their way out.  good news for everyone.  today i started work late because i was doing the social.  my social was a photo walk in richmond nature it wasn't too much work for me so much as an enjoyable evening.

i am in love....with roasted tomato and goat cheese tart.  i can eat it forever.  it's a perfect dish.  each bite is sublime and it is so simple.  i made it for dinner with honey garlic chicken wings and a yummy spinach and arugula salad with veggies and roasted almonds and craisins with a red wine vinegar, honey, garlic dressing that we whipped up.  perfect dinner.  everyone loved it so much and that makes me happy.  i love to make really good food for the members.  it's just a way i love them i guess.  i was thinking about it after talking to one of the member who was just so happy after the meal, and it reminded me of when i was in egypt preparing food for bashir. it was just simple food but i remember how happily he ate it and how that made me happy.  he told me later "i know you put so much love into it.  i can see it while you are making it."  i hadn't thought of it before.  it's a simple thing.  but feeding people is a way to love them.  i get you, italian mothers.  i get you right here.

speaking of love, i love my friend mei lin.  i texted her the other day just wondering where i can buy bao (the taiwanese steamed buns).  and she just went out and bought me some and brought them to my house.  she amazes me.  she's been given such a challenge and she meets it with such faith and courage and positivity, and it seems to me that in the face of her challenge she has become strong.

it's raining again.  i hope my tomatoes will not get too drrrrrenched (mrs harris).  i love the sound of it.  the sound of rain is such a beautiful sound.  admit it.

anyways here's an unedited old pic of owen that i didn't know i had.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

good things

 well i stayed up all sunday night until 4am finishing my family reunion project.  i hope it turns out.  that's in God's hands now.  his, and the blurbarati.  it should come as a surprise to no one that i fell asleep shortly after arriving home from work yesterday.  approximately 4:30pm.  and i didn't wake up until 1am.  and i've been awake since.

for a couple of hours after i woke up i was on my laptop and my phone, whiling away my time on the world wide web.  around 3 i began searching for something to watch on netflix but i realized, because my heart told me so, i didn't want to watch anything.  and i didn't want to be on the world wide web.  so i shut my laptop and the moment i did, i noticed the silver light of the summer solstice full moon shining in on me from my window.  and i thought, how often do i miss such beautiful moments like this because i have my eyes glued to the artificial light of a laptop or phone or something.  and then i thought God blesses the world constantly with beautiful moments like this and it is rare that i take the time to feel the goodness of it.  he's just so giving like that--giving selflessly whether we notice or not.

so anyways, i wrote in my journal a while.  i've been thinking lately that i need to take more time for reflection, meditation and writing.  quiet moments for scripture study too, instead of listening to talks and scriptures while i'm always on the go.  i need to stop and have still moments.  my life has been lacking that lately and i know it's something i need.  i had a good journal time and then i sat and kind of just read back on old entries. i started this journal in 2010  and it has mostly been a place where i have counted my blessings--wrote down spiritual moments and when i notice God's hand in my life.  So it was an uplifting read, to see all these small and big moments in the past 6 years that  God has been good to me.  well of course there have been more times obviously, i just said that his blessings are constant, but these were ones i recognized and wrote about.

i came across a cute little entry written march 23, 2012.  i'm a gonna share it with you now.

I want to remember all the good things people say to me.  Today I spent time with Daman and Fatima.  Fatima and I were laying in their big bed talking and Daman was sleeping beside her.  As I was leaving to go and Fatima to come with me to let me out, Daman came out of the bathroom (pee break) and out of the blue he said my hair was wildly curly like out of a children's book or something.  This mad me and Fatima laugh about a book she had given me called 'Fanny B. Cranny There's a Bird in your Hair'. "No but it's really beautiful, actually." said DAman looking at me sweetly with his sleepy eyes.  Thanks Daman.  You never know who will tell you the good stuff.  The trick is to hear it,  listen to it and remember it.  I had just been giving my hair a critical once over minutes before and left feeling unsatisfied but resigned.  Daman saw it differently. 

sweet hey?  i never would have remembered that if i didn't write about it.  here's a pic of me and fats from one such big bed session.

this is an unedited pic i took of daman a couple of christmases ago.  my buddah gave me a good bud-in-law.  :)

i leave you with two photos from my disposable water cameras.  i found them when i was looking for the budcouple's photos.   the first is taken in 2009 when edith, claudine and i went camping in tofino.  eeds is in the background.  i like this pic because this is my face when i am full of the enjoyment of life.

and this one is the end of the film so sloan got cut out.  still i enjoy it very much.  it seems so retro.  it was taken at kal lake.

and this one is me and lisa...and sai at work.  miss her.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

in my mind's eye i got up many times and did the dishes.  but in reality i edited pics and watched own network all day.  i only got up to go to the bathroom or pay the pizza delivery boy.

my hair is so flat recently.  i need a lion's mane session with sarah again.

this evening was the pub night fundraising event for work. you buy a ticket for 20.00 and you get a drink and a burger.  i helped do the 50/50 and it made me think of lisa.  she always did the 50/50 and i often helped her.  after the pub night there was a get together at colin's.  he has a condo with a loft.  i just really love the idea of a loft.  maybe one day i'll live in a place with a loft.   you never know.   he also has a dish chair that he's giving lindsay, which is totally unfair.  all dish chairs should go to me.  obvs.  people drank a lot more at colin's and by the time they decided to go out for karaoke, i knew i was going home.  i just don't enjoy that part of the night when things start getting inappropriate. while we were all getting ready to leave dave slipped out and then we couldn't find him.  he totally started walking the streets in a drunken stumbling stupor.  luckily after 10 minutes lindsay saw him stumble by at the cross road and we called him back.  i dropped them off at karaoke and left, glad i was going home.

a lot of the shows i watched on own today gave me different ideas of how i can improve my life.  lots spoke about meditation.  i definitely could benefit from better spiritual quiet time every day. another one was about changing your thinking and your circuitry...that one was pretty interesting.

Thursday, June 16, 2016


today we made thai chicken curry.  i don't know why, but i really enjoy crafting this meal.  gathering the flavours into the one pot.  lemon grass, coconut milk, red curry paste, lime leaves, ginger, garlic, lime juice....each one delicious on their own, but together--divine.  so happy when i taste it and it is better than i imagined.  cooking can be such a satisfying way to create.

after work i met heather at red wagon on east hastings for dinner.  heather works at capilano uni. now and she's looking for a place to live.  but first we ate.  red wagon has breakfast all day.  i've been wanting to try their creative dishes for a long time.  but in the end what looked good to me today, wasn't so far out. but it was yummy.  blue berry pancakes, house made sausages, sourdough toast, and home fries.  heather got the portabello sandwich.  she also asked the man next to us if he'd gone to the bathroom.  i found it funny.  of course i knew she wanted to ask him where it was.  heather always needs to know where the bathroom is, because she just needs to.  but i laughed and said in shocked tones "that's a personal question!"  the man said he actually just washed his hands, prompting other bathroom confessions which i also thought was funny.  bathroom confessions with strangers at red wagon....good times.  i wonder why that guy changed tables away from us...:)

so then we checked out the place and it's cute and heather sized and she needs to get it.  we find out on tuesday, or chewsday as h is wont to say.

right now you can watch own network for free so, i was watching some soul sundays and there was a sufi guy on.  apparently a sufi can be of any religion.  i feel i'm a bit of a sufi.  lds sufi.  it's all about love and God.  God is love.  there is divinity in all of us and in everything.  that's true.

late late

 those days when your hair is non-descript white fuzz?  rock it.  august 14 2014

so i really should do the dishes before the fruit flies pick my bones dry in my sleep.  but then what would i write about?  i just finished watching zootopia and i'm sad it's over.  last night i watched epic so i may have the beginning of  an insatiable addiction.   archie was curled up in the space between my knee and the back of the couch.  and all of a sudden he started meowing in his sleep.  i mean first it was more of a whimper.  and then an irritated muling and then an outright alert awake meow.  he looked at me accusingly.  it wasn't me buddy.  lindsay moved into her own place today.  i taught her how to write cheques.  i also tossed a piece of onion at her stomach to use as a backboard into the garbage can.  i could have just tossed it right in the can, but i prefer to be cheeky.  that's what kind of mature manager i am.  sometimes when one of the girls ask me something  i just stare at them with my mouth agape and my eyes dead and blank.  call it a defense mechanism. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

when i'm not thinking about radioactive vengeful fruit flies

cousins on the dock at the family reunion.  hey the family reunion is coming up and i'm featuring random photos from the last one to celebrate!!

today i came home to huge swarms of fruit flies.  did they escape the vacuum?  maybe.  will every post be about fruit flies.  probably.

lately i've been thinking about how sometimes a challenge seems insurmountable, impossible.  the more daunting and impossible it seems the more hope leaks out of my soul like a deflating balloon. darkness gathers like it's want to do when hope is sinking.  and darkness gathers more darkness. but. but then i realize that's because i'm thinking of myself in this challenge alone.  and i'm not alone.  none of us are.  and the Savior can do anything.  he has overcome all darkness.  he's risen with healing in his wings.  you know?  and the more i decide to have hope in that, hope in his power to heal and save... because when you come down to it, almost every kind of challenge is in need of healing and saving of some sort...when i put my faith in him--just a little bit even--i feel stronger, more capable, and the light starts to gather. and light gathers more light and hope builds and that is something i've been thinking about lately.  when i'm not thinking about fruit flies, that is.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

spiders shouldn't crawl on people's faces.  and people shouldn't be forced to watch it on netflix.  i gots da heebie jeebies.   weiwdly bethany looks like mom in this pic.

do you think that radio active fruit flies can fly out of a vaccuum cleaner and seek revenge?


Sunday, June 12, 2016

scenes from: when the old folks visit

1. when preparing for a house visit one must prioritize. i started with my suitcase.  i have been living out of it since leaving for turkey. cough... april 14th...coughcough  i put away my clean clothes.  put the others in the wash.  stripped the bed and my duvet.  swept the floor, collecting huge piles of fur, hair, dust, litter box traipsings, cat food bits and sundry.  emptied the litter box.  took a wet rag and scuffed off dry cat puke spots on the floor (i'm not proud of myself, ok).  put a load or two in the laundry.  cleaned out the toilet and sink the the bathroom and put some stuff down the drain to unclog it.  i never got to the kitchen.  some dishes and a crummy counter....and well.  that thing--whatever it was, in the microwave.  i discovered it earlier in the week when i opened the microwave to warm up sister roeder's gift of lemon chicken left-overs.  all i saw was a green bowl and a massive swarm of fruit flies before i slammed the door and ate the chicken cold.  i was actually hoping mom would deal with the thing in the microwave.

2.  jenny and uncle duncan were late.  i saw them pass the restaurant in their white car.  jenny was straining against the low light and peering out for parking spots.  mom got her red curry usual.  dad got his green curry usual.  i got my pad thai usual.  jenny got yellow curry and uncle duncan got pad thai-next generation with beef and a weird round thick noodle.  we sat like a half moon around a big circular table.  dad was stubbornly pleased with his chair and duncan lonely about the half moon.  we had dessert because duncan and jenny were having dessert.  most of us got coconut mango ice cream but dad had two big deep fried bananas with mango ice cream.

3. stories were told.  when dad was 18 or 19 and took his little brother mike out in a little boat to go fishing.  they didn't find anything out by 'those cement ships' and so he decided to head over to harwood island.  there was a small boat advisory out but he didn't know.  the waves were so huge that they washed right over his engine and stalled it.  so dad began to row the boat.  he was heading for the island.  then one of the oars broke.  so he kept going with the one oar on one side and then the other.  when they got close to the island dad said the surf was crashing into the shore and there were these two huge boulders as big as houses.  mom said in an aside to me, "he kneeled in the boat and prayed".  the waves took them right between the two boulders and on to the shore.  dad made 3 big fires on the cliff  (he just happened to have matches in his pocket) and gathered fiddle heads to eat.  and turned the boat upside down so they could go under it and not be wet from the storm.  he made them a fire too.  dad lay down to sleep, but his little brother mike who was around 9 at the time was too anxious and stayed sitting up.  "there's a light!" he pointed out.  but it was just the flashing light of a buoy.  dad lay down again.  a while later mike saw another light. this time it was a red light right in front of them and it was the rcmp.  dad's dad was supposed to pick them up from the dock and was worried.  he saw the fire on the island and called the rcmp.  dad said with some pride that there were two articles in the paper about him.  one from the scouts praising him for his survival skills and one from the the rcmp saying how stupid he was to be out on such a night. fumfered about in her turquoise pajama pants sucking up fruit flies with the vacuum cleaner (she tried to zap them in the micro but even after ten minutes it didn't work.( i fear we may have created radio active mutant fruit fly super villains) it was stew by the way.  i was thawing it and apparently i forgot about it.

5. dad and i (and sometimes mom) watched the finest hour after our thai dinner.  it's about a famous coast guard rescue and dad's story reminded me of it.  i knew he would like it. smugsmug.

6. in the morning i found mom's pantyhose hanging in the shower.  just saying.  it's not a mom visit unless you've hand some kind of run in with her pantyhose.

6.  i ended up between them at church because dad came down the left aisle and sat with sister townsend a while before joining us on the left side.  i enjoyed singing before thee Lord, I bow my head with dad's bass on the left and mom's alto on the right.  junko gave a great talk about spiritual gifts that mom and i really liked.

7. i spent a lot of time waiting in hallways while the people fawned over ma n pops.  i got more hugs and hand shakes from my ward members than usual, just because they were hugging and hand shaking mom and dad.  mom was trying to recruit the reyes' to move to williams lake.  i fought against it.  shameless poacher.  and in the end they preferred to nap in the parking lot of the church than nap in my bed five minutes away before leaving for the potluck.  but that's old folks for you.  they like to do their thing their way.  hmph.