Thursday, July 02, 2015

the air conditioner does not really reach us in the kitchen at work.  we bust our butts in the heat and linger in front of fans and shudder in delight when visiting the walk-in cooler.  some afternoons i take my break at reception and answer phones just for some time in a cool and comfortable environment.  "they are the hamptons" lisa would say, "we are the bat cave".  

some days, the hot days, i dread coming home.  i know the porch will be scorching hot with the sun, i know inside will not be cool.  today i plodded up the stairs with bag of cat food in hand, fed the beasties, and threw myself down on the bed in front of the fan.  i pushed my duvet far from me in disgust.  i closed my eyes and skimmed the land of dreams for 15 minutes or so, until it was time to go meet the sisters.

i met the sisters outside of the shopper's drugmart on no 5 and cambie.  sister mathialagin is from bangaluru.  she's 28 and a convert.  she wore a polka dotted blouse and held a matching umbrella over her and sister shahamati.  sister shahamati is half persian and half nova scotian.  she's the only member in her family too.  both sisters are going home soon.  is it just me, or are sisters much more lovely and put together than in my day?  anyway we were supposed to meet a lady named andrea outside of shoppers.  she didn't come.  so i was about to drive the sisters to some drop bys when they saw andrea walking on the sidewalk. we stopped, and we all ended up in the shade at a near by school, while andrea's daughter played.  andrea is from equador.  in her mom's small village they have whistles that communicate many things.  like "i'm going home and i'll meet you there"  and your name is a whistle.  her mom whistled some communications from far away.  it was cool.  it was also cool to watch the sisters teach with their shining eyes and faithful earnestness.  i was once like that.

after i dropped the sisters off in steveston i came home and ate some watermelon and chinese dumplings from mei lin.  i ate them on the porch of course.  once the sun is lower the breeze on the porch is lovely.  i douse myself with bug spray every night and spend all my time out here.  the sunset was gorgeous.

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

it's canada's birthday.  i spent it sprawled over various surfaces in my house/porch lost in alternate realities. i was reading.  and i was losing all happiness and joy because i'm a sponge and feelings seep into my heart and drain my soul with little resistance.  but i kept reading, bulldozing over myself. i'm good at doing that.  and then an ending i didn't want.  a grief filled ending.  it took me several chapters to believe it.  and i felt angry and sad.  and why??? and then i felt nothing has meaning and nothing matters.  i know it's not true.  that it will pass.  the book's message is that people help each other to mend.  that may be true.  i see God's hand in the mending.  because God is love. i am so empty right now.  why do i ever read books.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

the theme was blue

muggy day. the weird thing about a muggy day is that everything is so still.  there seems to be no people out, no sounds, no movement of anything or anyone...except the annoying and perverse flies flying in their right angles--they never stop.  just when i found the airlessness unbearable, i heard a rustling in the trees and a cool delicious wind flounced in and it even rained a little bit.  i smiled up at the sky and uttered a breathy "thank you."

today and yesterday was stake conference.  and suddenly everyone needed rides.  the sister missionaries have no car anymore, sister head's home teacher was out of town and rachel, my mia maid wanted to come to stake conference.  it was a blessing for me to have a full car.

i was in our hasty choir so i was sitting up on the stand and afterwards jane came up and gave me a card in which she spelled aunty as anty and included a lot of ants.  inside is a pic of what must be her rendition of me with very brown hair, with tight curls close to my head and short....wait i'll take a pic of it.

cute hey?  however i'm wondering what the red spots are....blemishes?  places i don't need make up?  also my nose is triangle.  also i have no forehead to speak of.  well who needs a forehead anyways?!  i'm bleessed with beauty!

so surrey 2nd ward had an amazing choir.  they sang a powerful and beautiful come thou fount of every blessing on saturday night.  and they plumped up our measly hasty choir today.

i've been meaning to write this post for over two weeks and now i have so much to say that i have nothing to say.  i slept outside on the porch last night because it was so stifling inside.  it went allright.  the camping cot isn't comfortable enough to make it an every day solution.  last night i went shopping for food and tried to really limit myself to things that are cold cool and or creamy.

i'm boring.

here are some pics from a photo day i had with lindsay.

 the point of the bubbles is the reflections...
many me's......

Monday, June 08, 2015

moth guts

hi it's me.  i'm writing from the porch again.  wait, i need a popsicle....ok i'm good.  popsicles are the best on hot days.  i got a mango single and a blue raspberry single.  i have a friend who says i like popsicles because i am like a kid,  truth be told, i like it when he says that, because, who doesn't want to be like a kid enjoying the simple and fun things in life? yokatanerorachan?!

amy gave me a bracelet for christmas that is extremely delicatos.  it has this little gold chain drooping down with a little delicate filigree snowflake.  i've torn the snowflake off at least 3 times.  usually it catches on my clothes.  today was no different.  i stretched behind my back only to be caught there momentarily.  confused, i pulled my arm back and as i was doing that it dawned on me what had happened.  sure enough there sat the golden filluhgrhee on the non-descript church carpet.  i made sabrina fix it for me. she's got tiny nimble fingers and that's what you need for filluhgrhee.

the joy of a blog is telling stories no one cares about in great detail.  joy.

anywhibbles, i had a mixed bag weekend, which seems the usual these days.  friday i had a date with kaetlyn. somehow we both magically managed to be at knight and 20th/22nd at the exact same time.  then she waltzed down to 20th and got in the car and we headed off on our adventure to deep cove.  i left home at 3:30 and we got there around 5.  our kayak reservation wasn't until 6 so we had some time for bubble tea and gyros from a jolly looking, (but not acting) little east asian canadian (i made that term up, although i'm sure i'm not the first. i couldn't tell what her exact heritage was, ok?)woman.  we sat in the sunshine on the 'patio' and talked and enjoyed the atmosphere of cute little deep cove.  we dug it.

we checked in at 5:30 as requested.  signed our lives away...kaetlyn was sure to read the form out to me.  then we put on our personal flotation devices and walked down to our kayaks.  i had my good old pinta and kaetlyn had some normal one.  the boy helped me fix the pedals but the right one was always farther away than the left one.  remember this.

so the girl told us that the tide would be against us coming back so that we should give more time to ourselves coming home.  also we had no way of telling time.  and if you are over 15 minutes late you get charged double.  remember that.

also please remember that my popsicle fetish makes me childlike.

also don't forget that i live on the porch of my home.

right. back to the story.  so anyways we took off and left the bay to the left.  kaetlyn hadn't been kayaking since she was 12 so she was feeling a little iffy, but she did super-great.  we stayed near the shore and talked about all the amazing houses.  we reached the island with the house on it attached to shore with a bridge in about 35 minutes and we circled around a bit.  then...i'm not sure why, but i felt since we had to give ourselves more time to get back we should return.  so we did.  on the way back the sun was in our eyes so we saw practically nothing.  upon entering the bay we asked a couple for the time (who's kidding who we asked every other paddler we came across for the time.  we were a bit neurotic about it) and the told us it was 7.  we were all wuuut.  so we paddled all the way in, and then it was 7:13 and  then we paddled out the right side of the bay and were all about the houses again, and turned back, came all the way to shore and still had 15 minutes left.  haha.  so then we did a tour of the sail boats and yachts.  we got in at 8:01.  note to self.  next time take a watch or something.

it was such a beautiful night and we had a really nice time.  i loved it.  i wish i had my own kayak.  afterwards a tall and  dreamy young man gave me back my keys.  kaetlyn said he was giving me the eye but i said it was her he was looking at. she said no one ever looks at her, causing me to scoff greatly.

i had mentioned to kaetlyn how i wanted earnest ice cream for the longest time, and so she said we should go on the way home.  so we did!  i felt a little weird in my kayaking outfit amongst all the hipsters, but i didn't let it bother me too much.  instead i took a lot of clicks with my phone.  kaetlyn said i needed to because i couldn't while we were kayaking.  she gets me.

so after much indecision i picked a scoop of salted caramel, because hello, you have to choose that one, and a scoop of.....honey chamomile.  the honey chamomile was a surprise of deliciousness.  i was thoroughly pleased and delighted and enthused and content and well, if i must say so, fantabbyhooby.

 of course i instagrammied it.

saturday was dull and drudge.  i cleaned because i really needed to and it did help me feel better.  i also made egyptian salad and was successful with my first attempt at baba ganoush.  i charred on the burner and everything.

last wednesday i taught lindsay some things about her camera.  we went to garry point.  we are supposed to have a workshop every week.  we'll see what happens.  anyways it was fun.  here are a few of the many shots.


Saturday, June 06, 2015

trails of glory

last sunday in sunday school we studied the story of lazarus who was raised from the dead.  as i read the story i thought of the grief and faith of martha, and especially the grief of mary.  mary who sat at jesus' feet and feasted on his word.  how she cried. both said 'if you had been here, my brother would not have died.'  it seemed to me that they both were so full of grief and could not see much more than their pain.  that's how grief is, i think.  and i thought about jesus, how he knew that this experience would be for their benefit and blessing.  how he knew he would be bringing them joy but he was with them in their grief.  he wept and he groaned in himself.  it made me cry so much while i was sitting in class thinking about it.  and i thought about my darkest days and how i have begged and pleaded and how he has walked beside me.  his love is wonderful and something i can't fathom.  

when i got home from church i was sitting on the porch thinking about these things and i saw in the reflection of the computer the earrings that i was wearing that mom and dad gave me last summer when i was in darkest days.  and i felt grateful for the gentle and kind and faithful ways they loved me. and i decided to take a truth pic.  so i did. :)

i had such a nice sunday night on the porch.  i noticed how beautiful my window looked with the trees lit up by the golden hour reflected in it.  then it began to rain little golden rain drops.  there must be a rainbow i thought.  i put on pants and ran down the stairs in my bare feet.  i followed the light.  i embarked on a journey of beauty.
coco and archie are enemies.  here she sits cute and innocent at the edge of dave and chris' jungle of tomatoes and marigolds.
rainbow and sunset at the same time...
the sunset in the window of my neighbour's old car.
first glimpse of the rainbow and the fire of the sunset in the window.
rosy neighbourhood, my bare feet feel good padding along your roads trailing after the glories God put in the sky for us all.
i see you. something special in the middle of many every day things.
the sunset is all over the sky, the car, the paint on the road.
and here.
and here.

i found some basketballers in a park.

and i found this dandelion...

the ballers paid me no notice laying the grass taking clicks of things.  i paid notice to the pretty world.  on the way home across a little bridge over the watery ditch, i heard frogs and looked at the bushy effusions of buttercups.
a blessed day.