Tuesday, August 08, 2017

long weekend


i am posting this picture because a) katie is beautiful and this picture is irrefutable proof.  so pfffft to the leah sister theory.  and b)because i seek relief from the muggy heat even if such relief is not quite physical but visonary.

i think when i ventured out to buy myself a chicken shawerma this evening that i saw glimpses of actual blue sky.  maybe the smoke is moving on.  then again i see and orange full moon rising, so what do i know.

it's been a good weekend.  i needed a weekend like this.  on friday i did not have a nap after work and we all know what a super human feat that is for me.  it goes against my nature.  my nature is to nap...especially on fridays.  instead i got gussied up, packed a beach bag and an overnight bag and met mom and dad and katie and brent in langley.  we were too late for the 6 session.  (well i wasn't.  i would have just skimmed in there on time) so we met for vietnamese food at a place near the wendy's.  it was pretty good.  dad and i both got the villiage specail which was this crispy chicken on thicker noodles with coconut milk, and basil and sprouts etc.  pretty yummy.  brent got a curry on noodles and spent his time putting the basil in and then taking it off right away and eventually giving it to mom who can't get enough basil and sprouts.  basil and sprouts are her jam.  katie got the lemon grass pork noodle bowl i think and mom got chicken i think.  feel free to correct me for the sake of the future generations.

after a good meal we went to the temple and did a session.  there were only 5 women in our session and 4 guys.  so it's good we went to that one.  katie and i both felt sleepy during parts but i saw her doing the sign language trick i taught her and it made me proud.  katie said she never noticed how much taller i am than her sitting down.  yeah, that's where my tallness lies!  i got short legs and arms!  i'm like a t-rex...with short legs.  anywho, it was a really really nice time in the temple.  i saw the deyels there and donna took me through the veil which was nice.

after the temple i abandoned my car and jumped in the jeep with the others and headed out to c-wack-a-mole.  i figured heavenly father would bless my car to make it to the temple and i didn't want to push it further.  

at katie's and brent's i sat with the fan on my feet which felt GLORIOUS.  hallelujah!  and talked to natalie about blueberry picking and such.  she wants a photo shoot when she gets her braces off and i'm like yeah i can do that but don't expect 100s like back in the day with michealah and her 3 clothes changes.  like that just aint possible no mo.  like i'm an old woman.  i gots my limits.  katie and i talked until i was like, let's go to bed so you're not grumpy tomorrow.  she looked at me and said "i'm going to be grumpy tomorrow."  to which i asserted that one cannot trick me out to one's home only to be grumpy the next day.  

and so it was that i was in michealah's room, undressing and chitchatting with her a little bit before we both went to sleep.  which was quite soon truth be told.  

next morning i woke up early a couple of times and forced myself back to sleep.  until around 8.  i got up and went upstairs.  katie made me a yummy avocado and tomato toast sandwich for breakfast.  then we went together to drop natalie off at a ladies house.  i went in my pjs and no bra because i'm like that.  on the way there we made natalie read random entries from my 2012 and 2006 blog books.  on the way home we talked about the good and bad of the 3 refugee ladies that katie and her group sponsored.  we sat in the driveway a while talking.

then i helped mom download and learn how to use open office.  we practiced.  i opened a new page and dad, who was watching woman in gold, was my subject.  "dad is a potato" i wrote.  then i saved it as dadspud.  then mom attempted.  she opened a new document and wrote "laura is a zucchini". and saved it as laurazuke, but managed to save it in her ttap videos folder instead of her doc folder so we had to do it again.  then she kept her finger down on the mouse when opening a new document and accidentally opened over 40 new documents, which was its own kind of good time.  eventually i think we got all the kinks out.

we had mac n tom for lunch.

we got ready for the beach.

i helped mom empty her stuff out of the van and i went with mom and dad and queen e and katie took the rest in her van.  mom and dad needed gas and i spotted a teeny tiny place on the side of the road that seemed completely abandoned, but aparently a boy from the little corner store next door came out with a  portable debit and helped pops beet with his transaction.  mom made dad repeat the card pin to her.  it's the same pin he's had forever and he said as if i'd forget that!  i remember numbers!  sarah and dad are similar this way.

once we made it to the lake we parked in handicapped parking and found katie and kids at a nearby picnic table. they nabbed one between two families both with delicious smelling bbqs.  we ate cherries and spit the pits on a paper plate.  we read some more entries of the blogs while i was sunscreening katie and while she was braiding natalie.  dad left to drive michealah to work.  eventually we were feeling warm and ready for a swim.  mom wasn't going to do it but we convinced her and she put on her sassy little suit she got from sarah.  katie and i jumped off the doc but mom didn't want to get her hair wet so she waded in.  we bobbed around a while, but mom doesn't like to go over her head, so i made up a game.  mom had to recite a long scripture from memory and katie and i would swim out as far as we could during that time.  when she yelled stop we would come back.  so we did the forward crawl on the way back.  i led with my right and katie with her left, for some reason and we both went the same pace so we were head pop out and look at each other at the same time every time.  the next time mom's memory task was to name all her 46 grandchildren in order of oldest child's family and down to youngest.  she was to try for middle names but she didn't really know a lot of those.  that time we went out farther.  when we got back we tried to think of all the middle names.  there's a lot we don't know.  the next time her and natalie sang all the verses they could remember of how firm a foundation and that time we made it almost all the way to the buoy so we just went all the way.  we hung on to it on either side for a while floating and talking.  one eye peering at one eye through the sign on the buoy.  then we swam back.  

we ate croissants and rotisserie chicken and chips.

we borrowed a knife from our neighbour bbqers, getting the 5 year old natalie was babysitting to ask for it.

on the way back to the car it's a bit uphill.  not drastically so, but enough to poop out dad.  he stumbled up to the concession stand asking the lady how much for a popsicle.  she said it was a dollar something and he reached in his pockets and was like, "oh i don't have anything just my keys" sweat pouring off his brow, "oh i'll buy you one." said the lady taking the change out of the tip jar.  "you are fast becoming my favourite person." says charming dad, who it turned out had his wallet in his back pocket but forgot about it.  then on the way home dad bought the kids 1.00 cones.  he came back with one too, after just finishing a popsicle, and with michealah bringing him home a frozen yogurt.  mom was like wuuuut, and dad was like do you want this, and mom was like noooo, i'm getting a frozen yogurt! and we were like give it to katie, and katie took it.  

michealah brought me a coconut with mango poppers and skor bits.  i got dressed and after futilely trying to help mom put the seat down in the van i jumped in the jeep again with all my stuff and with michealah.  we dropped her off in abby at the mcdonald's. to meet up with her friends.  they went to the fireworks.  katie and brent drove me to the temple and i got in my car and drove home.  a good day.

big breath there's more.  sunday was fast sunday. i spent most of young women's time catching up on how trek went and such.  the girls had a lot to say.  the lesson was on families and we came up with a hieroglyphic from emojis of what family is to us.  

after church i napped because it had to happen some time folks.  then i had nuts and then soup with hot sauce. this is sooooooo interesting!

evelyn took me to theatre under the stars again this year.  i went with her and rob and their friend maria on alumni night.  we saw mary poppins.  it was great.  loved it.  

today heather and i met up on commercial and had bao down.  i love bao down!!  i feel like it's the perfect food.  we got a flight of bao for $36.  heather had 3 and i had 4.  lucky i didn't eat anything before because 4 bao is filling!  i also got the guy to make me some kind of lemonade drink.  it was really good.  he put mint in it and i milked the mint and my lemon long after the drink was gone buy squishing them and swirling them in my water. heather and i had good chit chats.  it's been a while since we've been together.after bao which heather loved too, we went for rain or shine ice cream because heather had not tried it yet.  after that we sat a while on a bench in the heat and any will for walking left us and we parted ways.

long weekend. full.  i'm satisfied.  and my hair is super frizzy.



Thursday, August 03, 2017


sometimes you wake up with a start.  it's 8:30pm you're a hot slug on a bare bed and you have no idea how long you slept.  sometimes that happens to you.  and so the stupor is something you know about also.

this week has no hard edges.  it's all a soft and steamy forward blur of work in humid kitchens, pineapple sheets, dusky porches.  life goes on and i'm a participant somehow.  but i can't help but feel that parts of me linger in the past like ghosts.

these are the things groggy slugs say and it's not necessary to translate sluggish to english.  the slugs would rather you didn't.

i have a ramekin of cherry tomato jewels on my desk at work.  i collect the treasure each morning before i come in, scanning each plant and cooing sweetly to it as i pluck it's ruby babies.  i'm hoarding them for i know not what, but whatever it is, is going to be good.  i had a similar ramekin last week, except not so full and i came in monday morning to find it empty except with little curled green tomato scalps to witness of the carnage.

last night i watched a 4 part documentary show on netflix called the girls of destiny.  it was very good.  it's about these children from the lowest caste--the untouchables, in india, who get picked to go to a school.  this school is the work of an indo-american who sold his company to a fortune 500 and used the money to start this school.  his dream is to end poverty.  he takes one child from a family at age 4 and keeps them in his school for 14 years.  they go home twice a year for holidays, but other than that they are at the school and they attempt to give them the best education and a good loving environment and character building too, and to get them into good colleges and into good professions and in this way each child is supposed to raise up their family and give back to hopefully 100 others and so raise the people eventually out of poverty.  they follow around 4 girls on their journey as they deal with being different from their siblings and home villages, and the pressures of getting good grades and choosing wisely to be the saviors to their families and their communities and also trying to be true to themselves, and leaving the safety of their school to be in the outside world and facing prejudice about being an untouchable etc.  it was very compelling.  i watched all four episodes one after another of course.  the suffering of the peoples of the world can feel so overwhelming.  thinking about all the different people who suffer can be a flood of despair.  i'm so grateful to know about the people and organizations that attempt to heal save and rescue.  sitting here on my safe cozy porch in a privileged safe and free country, with all the opportunities i allow myself to have--i'm grateful.  and i want to be a part of movements like that.  i want to be a part.




Tuesday, August 01, 2017

reflect


reflections.  i've been thinking deep thoughts and stereo-typically much of it was in the shower.  deep thoughts and reflection--that's the type 4 in me.  having a billion thoughts at once interrupting each other and ten thoughts diving off the diving board of another thought and spiraling into many thoughts--that's the type one in me.

 i don't know if i can remember it all, and even if i could i made a turban out of my black long sleeved t-shirt that looks like it could be made out of lego.  there is no explaining this.  this is just something that is.

it's been strange days.  this morning the sky was smokey and the sun was reddish orange like that other time forest fire smoke wafted into our skies and i just so happened to be trying to take a family photo of the kyrah clarktton family in victoria and they all had this super weird light and all the yellows were neon.  it's just weird.  you know it aint right.

days at work have been weird without paskee and lindzee.  lil' brit is helping us out, and days go by full of hard work and heat and sweaty bodies.  sometimes ann, who is prone to lay a hand on me, does so, and her hand is burning hot and i have to say again "ann, for the hundredth time, don't touch me with your burning hot hand!"

i'm starting to force myself to think about all our stuff--what we'll keep and what we don't need and what has been dead weight for over 13 years.  sometimes it's hard to know.  other times it's easy.  like that 70s warming plate that i've never laid eyes on?  we can do without that.

i went to bed at a relatively good time yesterday and but i woke up with a start at 2am.  i felt the sting of an acute itch on my left wrist.  then i began to feel itches everywhere and my mind was instantly alert.  on hot nights i'm pretty exposed to mosquitoes.  i wear nothing but what i have to if you know what i mean, and i only pull a sheet over myself in the early morning hours when the air cools.  the thought of a mosquitoes sucking my blood, boils said blood.  i had to get up and douse my body in bug spray.  i have some aerosol bug sprays and i've decided that i'm very against aerosol bug sprays.  you breath in most of what is sprayed out and so you poison your insides and your outsides at the same time.

then i couldn't fall asleep until after 3am.  then i lagged in getting up.

one of the things i was thinking about in the shower is how my feet are the dirtiest i have ever seen.  and i don't really care.  i mean i do try to clean them in the shower but at the same time i don't feel revulsion or shame about it.  it's just what happens when feet like mine spend all day working in flipflops.  and there's no shame in getting dirty when you work.  and my hair and feet reveal to the world my raggamuffin ways.  i am what i am.

that wasn't the deep thought though.  that was just a surface thought.  one of the other things i was thinking about was that of all the temptations that come to me on a daily, the most common and amongst the strongest is just the temptation not to pray.  to put it off.  to do it another day.  to do it later.  to just sleep this time.  i'm feeling this resistance all the time.  and it's a pull to wander from God.  not to do anything bad, just to wander from his presence, to distance myself in our relationship.  to wander life's paths on my own for a bit.  i was thinking about this urge, this temptation that i find myself continually grappling with.  there are some times when prayer is the first thing i want to do.  if i'm feeling the spirit, if i'm feeling grateful, if i'm worried about someone, if i feel a need for divine help, comfort, guidance or intervention.  but that's just the thing.  i always need it.  and a close relationship with Heavenly Father, a daily walking, talking and sharing with him, the ability to do that, the fact i know how, the fact that he's available--that's the beginning of everything.  that's the source of strength, resilience, inspiration, faith, diligence--it's everything.  so i know that there is a reason i feel such a great resistance to prayer sometimes.  and i purposely resist the resisting.  even if i'm tired, or feel unworthy, or mad, or sad, or bored, or dead inside, or lonely, or crazy, or lost or uninspired--there is no perfect time to pray--or i should say, they are all perfect times to pray.  there is no perfect mind set to wait for. all of the mind sets are right.  because i need God in every moment.  and there is no moment that won't be made better if i share it with him.  and my reaching for him can be imperfect.  maybe my prayer is a dud in all ways that people might judge it.  maybe my mind is dumb of the right thing to say to him.  maybe i'm not eloquent or lyrical.   that's just dumb.  as if God needs that.  God will literally take anything i can give him from my imperfect mortal self and accept it.  if i feel angry and even jealous or evil or prideful, or just wrong hearted in anyway and can't utter the most worshipful and holy words but manage to talk to him and tell him what i am going through and ask for his help and a way out or just even a softening of my own heart.  i have faith that God accepts that.  God will work with that.  and doing that is infinitely better than not praying.  so i fight to make myself pray especially when i don't want to.  and i have faith that Heavenly Father will make even that willing--unwilling prayer into something good for me.  he hears me in all my extremities and in all my depths and heights and in all my medium ho hums.  and he answers my prayers.  always.  he has answered me innumerable times.  it so often surprises me how generously he answers my prayers. because here's the thing.  i'm not holy.  i'm not great or super good.  i struggle all the time.  and i am always repenting and failing and repenting again.  i mean it.  i am not a pure worthy vessel of the Lord like i would like to be.  i have faith and hope that one day i can overcome this wretched mortal weaknesses and offensive bits of soul hanging on to the gold inner me.  i have faith that Christ can create lasting change in me.  but i'm not always the best at partnering with him.  i know prayer is key.  but my point is, even as a moldy stinking wreaking heap of a blackened mortal creepo that i feel like some days, the moment my heart and soul reaches out to my Father in Heaven in any capacity, even a lameo try, even a try hampered thoroughly by the weight of my fleshy mortality--that's all he needs.  he needs me to chose him, and i chose him and use faith any time i pray to him, that's all he needs to answer me, to be there for me, to send me help and light and inspiration and voices of wisdom and learning and comfort and everything i need and have the capacity to accept and see and understand from him.  he is that kind.  he is that merciful.  he is that consistent in his love.  he is that patient.  and he sees me.  he sees the mold and the dark and he sees the golden core.   he doesn't balk from the festering wounds and worm eaten neglect and stinky black and bleak.  that stuff doesn't bug him at all, if a child of his is turning to him, and chosing him, you, and by you, i mean i, better believe he is not deterred by that filth one bit.  he knows that he can heal that.  he knows that he can cure that.  he knows that he can purify that.  he knows that he can shine me all up and make me new.  and he gets to work on that every time i chose to let him into my life, my soul my terribly messy and messed up mortality.  the power of love is greater than any other power that exists.  God is love.  Jesus is love personified (God personified).  i am his mission.  we all are.

and i think we so often make the mistake of attributing mortal emotions and reactions to God.  taking our own fears and feelings of  guilt or worthlessness or whatever it is that's negative.  maybe we can't see how God would be patient or forgiving or gentle because we personally can't feel that way about ourselves or someone else.  but God isn't limited like we are.  he is perfect.  and perfection isn't cold and accusatory.  it's not impatient and uppity.  perfection is the warmest purest sweetest love.  and yes it's true that God can't and doesn't accept sin but that's what his whole plan is about.  helping us to overcome and perfect and come back into his presence joyfully not because we are so great, but because we chose him, and we had faith in Jesus Christ and put our trust and faith in his atonement and used it.  and every time we fail we tried again and again.  and every time we repent he forgives us.  because he loves us.  and this is his plan.  his love is real.  it's not just a word.  it means something.  it means everything.  and whatever messages we receive that steer us away from him are just not true.  like it's too late, or i've gone too far.  or i'm hopeless.  or i can't change.  or he doesn't hear or see or know me.  or i'm not good enough.  or whatever it may be.  it's just not true.  he'll take us exactly how we are and at whatever level or spot we're at and our progress may take infinity.  he doesn't care.  he'll go at our pace.  he'll walk at our side.  he'll hold our hand.  if there is one thing i do know it's that God is real.  and he really is our father.  and he really does love us.  and there's lots i don't fathom.  but i do know that.  because he's shown me.  and i'm sorry i'm wanderer.  and i'm sorry i live beneath my privilege so often.  but i have hope that i'll get better and overcome the more i turn to him.  and that just act of turning to him in prayer is a step towards all that i lack and i refuse to let go of that.  thank God for  prayer.  i do.

well that was one of my deep thoughts.  and that's my testimony.  thanks for being here with me, i appreciate you.  i know readership is few and far between but i feel like i want to write anyways.  because first of all it's good for me.  and second of all i think of you all when i write even if you don't come here to read, especially my sisters,(including sisters in law) my friends, and my mom.  i'm writing to you, and i'm writing to me.

Monday, July 31, 2017

one for the posterity


lindsay and pascale are in calgary for two weeks for their master's program.  that leaves me with one staff and a borrowed summer-student who i like to call lil brittnay or lil brit.  we are entering the last days before our move to the new building.  things are coming down to the wire and change is imminent.  our new kitchen is all new state of the art equipment and there's going to be a steep learning curve.  before we move at the end of august i have to get rid of all our junk we've been holding on to for years and years.

today wasn't bad. just hot and stuffy as usual.  i really have nothing interesting to say.  when i got home from work i was so tired i could barely stand it and i collapsed on my bed and listened to youtube with my eyes closed.  somehow the youtube rabbit hole ended up on a brene brown loop and that woke me up.  i love listening to her stuff.  vulnerability stuff--it's good.  that's my tagline.  later i sat out on the cool porch and uploaded photos and watched the sky turn to a rosy peach cream.  my curtains are barely up.  the wind has done them in a bit but they still blow romantically in the breeze so that's all that matters.  

i ate over roasted baby potatoes and talked to heather, trying not to burn my mouth on the fluffy hot stuff inside each spud, my tongue playing hot potato with great skill.  heather is having a hard time with her sick kitty.  i feel for her. if there is anyone i know who does the all out max for her pet, it's heather.  she's got such a big heart, and big hearts are vulnerable to breaking, splintering, hurting... you know what i mean.  loves to my h.

so you think you can dance is only on fox and so i can't watch missed episodes. this bugs me in the bugger. it presses my bug button.  

feeling restless and unfulfilled.  gonna sleep it off.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

the works


sitting out on my twinkly porch at the end of a summer's day, listening to a guy talking on his cell in mandarin or cantonese as he walks through the park.  through my bamboo blinds i can see that the half moon is up.

it's been an interesting day.  i fell asleep after church after munching a handful of almonds, but in a surprise move, i only slept 2 hours.  keeping it random folks. ala type one.   when i woke up i could hear downstairs dave droning on to his new roomie, who i fear is a bit of a vagabond.  dave has no concept that i can hear his conversations like he's sitting next to me.  they were getting all hyped up about the politcs of marajoowanna.  later when i stumbled groggily out to the porch, i was trying to ignore the cronies down on the lawn while looking ups some solar eclipse details on the world wide web.  but my ears twitched and began to burn when new cronie asked "who lives up there?"  "laura," says dave, "you know, the big fat lady?"  wuuuuuut i mouthed silently to myself.  #bigfatlady.  i mean i know i'm pretty fat these days but it's one thing to know it myself and another to hear yourself described as such.  and dave went on to say "oh laura's really sweet"  and "laura's really nice"  too late dave.  the sweetness ends here.  well probably not, because when you're sweet you're sweet, but still. i can't believe he said that.  i mean chubby lady with curly hair--that's better.  there's a milion better things than #bigfatlady.  he doesn't even know he hashtag labeled me.  

so then i began to worry that they would realize i was up here, the #bigoafs, and that would just be awkward, so i began working my way silently off my chair that creaks and the porch floor creaks, and i was managing it fine, until half way up i experienced a sudden paradigm shift.  whatever, i thought, why should i feel awkward that dave is an oaf? and i waltzed through the screen door without care of noise.  

yesterday when i was leaving downstairsoafdave asked me as he was passing me with 2 bags of groceries if i would park behind my other car (dead stella midnight) because sometimes he gets groceries and he likes to be able to drive all the way into the back yard.  ok.  so dave doesn't have a car.  no one does.  i'm the only one who has a car.... 2 cars, 1 dead and 1 barely alive.  i am not going to park all squished up because once in a blue moon you would like to drive into our yard downstairsdave.  but i just smiled and said "i'm leaving" and judy, who had driven mr.oafinpants to the the grocery store and parked behind me rushed to move her car.  pfffft.  #bigfatladyattitude

i was on my way to see #sarahlynnelizabethstratton, who was having a long wait at the ferry and invited me to join her.  well i wasn't doing anything at the time except for laying horizontally on my bed watching youtube videos of derrick jaxn relationship advice, so i got up put on some clothes, brushed my teeth and looked at my wild locks but didn't do much to them.  added a bit of mascara too, truth be told.

we went to saks fith avenue at the tssawwassen mall and like the last time we had both been there, which was christmas shopping, we were both drawn to the accessories area and spent most of our time there.  i found 5 sets of earrings that i could not live without.  i mean sarah was key in this and yet she pared her pile down neatly to one set of earrings.  

we didn't have much time for much else so we hightailed it out of there, touching and looking at various things as we walked out.

after i dropped sarah off at the ferries i drove back towards richmond feeling the hunger pangs bad.  it was after 12:30 and i had not eaten anything yet.  so i made the fateful decision to stop at mcdonald's drive through.  and that's when i made the even more fateful decision to get a large milkshake.  do you know how large a large is??  it's massive!  i never get a large and i was reminded of why not.  it's because, besides the gluttony point, which let's face it, is not the hugest concern for me, it takes up all the liquid reserves of you stomach.  there is literally not enough room for that much shake.  which isn't good because mcdonald's makes me thirsty and i couldn't drink much water for a long while after without feeling like throwing up.

i went home and suddenly it was 2.

my big plan for this weekend was to go to spanish banks and watch the fireworks from there, and have a bit of a beach day before that.  lately my saturdays have been horrendously lonely and boring.  i just can't wait for there to be people in my life for me to do things.  i need to just do things or i'll go insane, which some saturdays i feel like i am totally wacko just from a build up of loneliness and inertia.  i worry about the lonliness.  i keep hearing studies about how loneliness is so detrimental to your health, both mental and physical health.  and i keep hearing echos of uncle duncan saying at gramma b's funeral "i hope none of you experience terrible loneliness", or something like that.   and i don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.  i just want to figure this out.  and i want to deal with it.  and i want to learn what i'm supposed to learn.  and i want to #shakerattleandroll.

so around 5 i was all ready with my ginorma beach bag stuffed with goodies and i started my drive out to spanish banks.  i made it there in about 37 minutes thanks for caring.  and i quickly nabbed a parking spot.  then came the labourious sand walking and search for an empty log.  i found a good one next to a couple who had made a shelter with a blanket, some driftwood and their log.  as i set up my retro sleeping bag i knew that if i did not get liquids i would surely die.  so i abandoned all, took my cell and my debit card and trekked all the way back to the concession stand, bought two waters, and got two cups of ice all in a nice cardboard carrier.  

then i trekked back.

i sat on the log and poured water into the ice cups and drank it, on repeat until i drank a whole bottle and most of the second.  by that time my thirst was abated enough to allow me to lay on the retro sleeping bag, and read my 2012 blog book which i recently rediscovered, and eat ice chips.  so that's what i did.

time passed.

the tide was out coming in when i arrived and i decided to wait until it was in before i swam.

more time passed.

when the sun started getting low on the horizon i stopped reading to take some clicks without really moving from my spot.

this pic includes the sky which just looks delicious to me, and my next door log neighbours which were this big group/multi family.

 going the other direction you can see my other log neighbours had a propane tank for bbq and for a fire ring.  i ended up leaving my log closer to fire works time because they placed their camping chairs just so, in front of my view.  but that's ok because where i went was great and had a trusty log to use as a tripod, but i digress.  you can also see that there was a bride and groom photo shoot going on.  those photographers were also down by my fireworks photography spot later on.
 this is me.  my hair is ragamuffin and that's just the way it is.  i had these dark circles under my eyes too but i got rid of those via the magic of photoshop. but imagine them if you want to.

 just playing with solar flares, that's all.
 rock thrower





 then it was fireworks time.  part of me wanted to swim during the fire works but another part of me wanted to attempt to photograph them and that part won.  in the end i never swam the whole day.  actually i haven't yet gone swimming this whole summer.

i'm pretty pleased with myself.  this is just one of the maaaaany.  but i mean, one's enough.  next time i might find a different fireworks place for a different kind of shot.

after this i had the longest drive home ever because marine drive is closed and we all had to trail painfully single file down 41st and through kerrisdale.  ugh.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

lessons in mortality

today was stake conference.  as usual i am in the choir.  this morning we had an early morning practice which was great because there were parts of the song that i hadn't practiced yet.  i wore my new peachy dress with turquoise and teal accents.  it's fake wrap around style and the v cuts low so i've only worn it once since i bought it and that was at sarah's because she had a banditty bandeau of the perfect colour that i borrowed and stretched out and therefore she should have just given it to me, otherwise why go to the trouble of stretching out people's things?  i mean if i go to all that effort and inconvenience then i should be rewarded nes pas? sarah sees things differently.  "oh i'll just wash it and see if it shrinks back" she shrugs.  that's what she says outwardly but behind the words is the message "keep your grubby grubs off my banditty bandeau!".  so anyways i found a lacy tank top of the perfect teal colour so i was free to wear the dress!  i love this dress right now.  and i got ready everything seemed perfect, the lips the eyes, the earrings, the  shoes...those turquoise high heel wedges i got to be an officiant in john and mary's unwedding.  i've only worn them a handful of times since that day 3 years ago, because let's face it, i'm not a heels kind of girl.  i'm a barefoot kind of girl, with curly toes and cracked heels.  that's the real me.  but since barefeet is not socially acceptable in church one must wear shoes.  so anyways today i felt like, yes, it's a special day, i will pop these babies on and i will shine like the star i am.

this is all to say i felt like all that and a bag of chips.  really, i should have taken the warning last night when i was belting out the verses in because i have been given much with all my heart and feeling good about it, when all of the sudden in mid strains of melodic ferver my throat contracted and my tongue jerked back and i started hacking out a lung. this is bad enough when in the congregation but is so much more conspicuous when one is on the stand for all to see.  this always happens when i am feeling too good about myself.  something happens to take me down a notch preeeetty quickly and often severely.  like watch out little icarus the sun is not your play ground.  your feet belong in the clay.  but no, i did not take the warning.  after practice, i waltzed down the stairs from the stand and out the doors.  i walked down the hall like i was walking the runway, all confidence, all breezy "sometimes you got a little finesse, sometimes you got a lot!", all rico suave, all maybe it's maybalene, all "this girl is on fiiiiiiiiiiiiiire, this girl is on fiiiiiiireyeeuuhuhuh", all big strides, and big smiles,  all oh i'll just grab the bulletin on that side table without even stopping, just whisk it up with a little twirly flair, all hello, hi, smile, nod,....and all wobble, tumble splat.  before i knew it my ankle betrayed me and i went down like a sack of potatoes right in front of a very surprised scott cresine.  ahhhh humbled again.  i can't stop laughing about it every time i think of that moment.  scott, who i don't know, was all concern and gentlemanly-ness and helped me up "are you sure you're ok?" "yep, i'm fine i say" out loud but to myself i'm saying "it's jut my pride that got an elbow to the guttocks.".  a goddess walked off the stage, but a mortal walked into the relief society room for extra alto practice trailing clumps of mud behind her.

Monday, April 03, 2017

dear spring, you came so late, but i won't hold a grudge.  so glad to see you.  *hearty hugs, breathless kisses,  gleeful whoops and twirls, and a satisfied grunt".

ps. thanks for the ladybug family you sent to my house.  i lurvs them.

Monday, March 27, 2017

girls weekend march 16-19 2017


it had been a long time since our last girl's weekend.  the last official girl's weekend i believe was in march 2009. at least that is the last one i have documented on this blog. (you can read about it here. i found the comments by madelaine and rhiannon at the end quite amusing)  so what i'm saying is, that it was time for a new one, and thank goodness katie and michealah had the bravery to take on the challenge.  (mom included me in the credits for putting it on but this is a mistake.  all i ever did was a few back room consultations which basically consisted of yeah, and good idea, and mmhmm, yess.)  and yes it does take bravery to take on the monumental task of organizing a clarke family gathering. if we look deep into our hearts we know this is true.

this girls weekend began for me, with a ferry pick up.  the bonus of living closest to the ferry is getting to be the go to ferry picker upper, which i don't mind at all.  sarah was child free.  we shoved her things in my trunk which was already quite full thanks to my camping cot and bedding and shoes and whatnot.  "what are we eating?" asked sarah cutting right through to the urgent matters.  we had to pick up mom,and maria and jane, whom we named marane, we decided to hold off for food until then.  i asked sarah to drive because my wrists were sore.  i have a case of double carpel tunnel and it irks me.

i messed up on finding jord and tracy's house.  it had been a long time and i felt like i would remember when we got close enough but the fact is i got confused because we were coming from nordel way not 72nd.  this will cause andrea to say "see you aren't good with directions!"  then she'll cackle evilly while clutching a lamb close to her bosom and petting it with a far off look in her eye.  

when we asked jordon on fb messenger for the actual address to his house, this is the conversation we had:
me: what's your address
jord: i don't have one
me: dyub.*
      : we need to know
jord: ok but you have to promise to ask maria about "bellingham sue". she is a beehive from the bellingham stake who is beating maria in accomplishing her young women's Pavilion.
      :and it infuriates maria
      : belingham sue has become a thorn in maria's side.

meanwhile we are driving in circles. we leave a voice message saying 
me: we need your address RIGHT NOW
sarah: whatever, we'll ask her about bellingham sue!  just TELL US
so finally he sent his address and...
jord: eediot.
*definition of dyub/doob/dyoob:   a doob is a dud, generally is male, prone to idiocy, has buffoon mannerisms, portrays clumsy and lackadaisical attitudes, and it is quite possible a doob will give you a blank stare while drooling when you ask him an urgent question.  if you ask a doob for help he might lift an arm weakly and then let it fall heavily to his side, like meh--i tried.  a doob is easily distracted by stupid topics introduced by other doobs. this can bring on a 'doob fest'.

so after that we found our way and when we arrived at tracy's we said to each other, maybe tracy will have food!  and she did.  we had some yummy chicken and potatoes and a good slaw.  just before sitting down to the table at the dining room dad was sitting in the kitchen doing his meds and kate was beside him standing on a chair.  dad told us that she just kissed him on his ear and then asked him "did you like that?"  dad said "yes i did." and she replied "i did too."

here is a picture of dad.  all pictures in this post are provided by tracy who documented the weekend with her phone.  she said dad wanted to play games with them but then they looked over and he was like this:
after our bellies were filled it was time to hit the road.  mom being herself had a lot of stuff and of course marane had their bags and sleeping bags etc.  mom who in a previous phone conversation on the topic, when she informed me that i would be picking her and marane up, had said "people would just have to hold things on their laps", was now feeling anxious.  but me, being myself, was undaunted.  i set forth to pack the people and their things into the car using every available space.  jane and maria were literally lodged in the back with all their stuff and mom placed beside them with some of her stuff and my food and contributions and some other things with me in the front.  a beturbanned friendly neighbour with a long flowing white beard stopped on his evening walk to enjoy our antics.  he seemed very amused.

we arrived at katie's with very little fuss.  when we got in all was a bustle.  natalie and mary were setting up the stackable camping cots.  maria joined them.  sarah and i were given the bunkbeds in the corner and we made up our beds.  andrea and delanie were sleeping in the stacked camping cots across from us.

i wanted to go to walmart to get carpel tunnel splints for my wrists and some dish soap, and sarah needed tomatoes.  katie decided to get bubble wrap and dish soap for delanie and mom called to say she wanted some cheesewhiz.  mikaykay drove us.  in the store a man had the nerve to ask us to move out of his way as we were standing in front of the aisle with dumb looks on our faces.  still.  the nerve of him to be annoyed by US.  

back at katie's, our food group got ready making our sauces of yum for our shawermas the next day.  michealah had already made the most amazing looking chocolate peanutbutter oreo cheesecake.  she downplayed its looks but in my eyes it looked pretty glorious.  like when you looked at it choirs of angels started singing and a light from heaven shone down on it.  that's what kind of creation this was ok?  anyways we worked together and made the hummus,  and the garlic mayo, and started the tzatziki.  i also had to add 7spice to my chicken marinade because i forgot to before, so that was done, and don't be shy about thanking me about adding 7spice.  i will receive your thanks with the graciousness of a queen.  by the way katie has blown my mind.  she makes her own tahini.  you just blend up sesame seeds! yeah why haven't i ever thought of doing that?  it's so simple, and her sesames were toasted so the hummus had a nice toasted flavour.   when we were done with our smug preparations we joined the others in the living room who were chit chatting.  we chit chatted also.

i don't now when this picture was taken but this seems like a good time to put it in.

meanwhile andrea, rhiannon and caleb were on a late night journey. the tricky thing was caleb.  did we have a boy interloper sleeping on the upstairs couch that night?  not a big deal, but that would mean delanie would have to leave and drive home in the morning and so miss stuff.  so michealah agreed to drive him home that night.  i agreed to go with her. 

andrea et al arrived right at 12:30. and not long after that we left.  we took my car  but michealah drove.  i was very tired.  i was really impressed how kind michealah was to caleb throughout the journey.  they talked about him getting his license and she gave him a lot of tips and empathy and even told him about her driving instructor who is a member and gives lessons for cheaper.  caleb told us a sad story about how he dropped his phone in some water...apparently it was not the first time he has done that to his phone.  i suggested a water proof phone for the future.  i'm helpful that way.  

anyways i noticed when we were on the highway that i was very very empty on gas.  so we stopped for gas and that's when both michealah and i realized that we didn't bring our wallets, which is worse for her because she was driving, but luckily caleb had his and he put 20.00 in.  michealah got out and showed him how to pump gas.  

so i feel like we got back to katie's around 2.most people in the great room were asleep except andrea who was on the top bunk of the camping cots with her headlamp on, reading.  she and the cousins i shall call 'mid teens' (natalie, maria and mary) were just settling in.  andrea, true to her nature talked to me in a loud voice and let her head lamp roam.  in this way andrea is a direct replica of douglas arnold.  just sayin. 😏

"are you going to turn that thing on?" says andrea in her normal conversational tone, meaning my cpap machine. "yes," i whispered almost inaudibly, (that's how quiet i was) "i have to". i mean sleeping will not happen without it.  andrea was worried, a little ironically, as i know see it, about the noise.   "it is very quiet" i reassured her, but andrea was all "i'm just used to it being so silent." her voice boomed out over the sleeping room. "well, it's better than my snoring" i whispered.  

in the morning, which came too soon, she conceded that she didn't hear my machine.  but she said she heard me and natalie snoring.  i'm not surprised although i think what snoring i do do, is very tame in comparison to my natural state snorts and roars.

my group was doing breakfast.  we got started on our crepes and fruit and whipped cream around 9 and people fed people around 10:30.  it was a late morning that led to a late lunch that led to a late dinner paradigm that we couldn't get away from the whole weekend.  basically we stayed up way too late every night and that was the fault of everything.  

natalie and michealah made the crepes and then i took over for michealah, and thanks to her expert tips on how to tilt the pan when applying batter to it, i did quite well.  the crepes were yummy and everyone seemed to enjoy them.

i named my red cup "auntie awesome".

after breakfast andrea started pulling out her magical bags of dyed wool. i helped.  besides these, there were two chairs full of wool.  one being the turquoise chair and the other being the purple chair. turquoise reigned supreme in the felting weekend.

katie had to go see her ladies about a problem and stopped to buy all of our beauty and the beast tickets.  i made myself  the distributor of andreas instructions  and started facilitating for the people who were making slippers.  tracing feet, cutting out the 'form' for the slippers. i took special care of madelaine whom i named madelaine the undead for obvious lack of sleep reasons.  she was my special handicapped girl who i nudged into participation by supplying her with her needs at various times until she was un-undead enough to take care of herself again.  after the forms it was bubble wrap cutting and sizing and after the bubble wrap it was finding a gauzy fabric for yourself.  

when it came to my own project my personal nature caused me to see the huge wide bubble wrap andrea brought for me, and to envision a huge canvas for myself.  laura of the giant projects strikes again.  we all settled into our different areas and began fluffing our wool and placing it like so on on our various forms.  at this point we were all blissfully unaware of the all consuming intensity of felting fever that would consume us.
 here's jane who made a bag, with her fluffs of the ubiquitous turquoise.
mom sarah and i nabbed the dining room table.  natalie  perched on the kitchen counter.  she is seen here helping me do some fluffing.  the navy woolies are the inside of mom's slippers and sarah is seen here fluffing out the reds of her inside slippers.  so fresh...so naive... actually by this time i was starting to have the fever.  you can see it in my eye.  i wanted none else but to finish my canvas.  sarah took her pent up felting agression and gave people severe hair dos.
 tracy and maria both made bags.  tracy waltzed in late and just whipped up her bag with ease.  causing us all to start bitterly naming all the things tracy can do with ease and perfection.  you can see here how the wool took over the whole house.  it was everywere.  actually this pic is not from the first afternoon because when tracy and katie who arrived last finally got there there was no room upstairs and they were downstairs.  katie brought nancy one of the ladies who needed a pick me up.  she sat and helped katie fluff.  it wasn't until that night that we brought the downstairs table upstairs.

it wasn't that long after katie got back that we neeeded to leave our projects--and the felting fever made this difficult to do--and go to beauty and the beast.  i thought it was going to be crazy busy because it was opening weekend, but i was wrong.  i was in chiliwack.  i drove sarah and andrea and rhiannon in my car and sarah and andrea offended me by telling me a parking spot when i already knew it.  just let that be known.  in the theatre people spread out according to their social groups (ie teen groups) and tastes in where to sit in a theatre.  i have my favourite spot that i got from lisa, which is to sit on the front row of the back section where you can put your feet up on the bars.  katie and andrea and malachi sat with me.  so did michealah and natalie until they found/grouped up with their respective age groups.  i really liked the movie and was able to really enjoy it even with the loud busy malachi climbing over me back and forth back and forth.  my feet were up on the bars and sometimes i would take my feet down for him to go past me.  but he would put my feet back on the bars and then climb up over them.  haha.  eventually andrea took him out and had adventures with him in the lobby.  a fun time and i'm glad i didn't let my felting fever ruin it for me.
 katie and i dropped off our respective car loads and went in search of pita and mojos. we were going to serve mojos as a side to our shawermas, but when neither of the save on foods that we went to had any good amount of good mojos we decided to skip it.  but we did get pita and we did get dill to add to our tzattziki.  then we headed home and started to put together our shawermas.  after the chicken was cooked and the tomatoes, onions and parseley were chopped and the pitas were ripped open we started an assembly line.  katie was on hummus and garlic mayo, natalie was on chicken, elizabeth was on tomato onion duty and michealah did pickled turnips and parsely.  i wrapped up the finished project.

everyone loved our shawermas and a good feasting ensued.  sarah and rhianon sat on the kitchen floor by eatiing theirs.  i was perched on a stool at the counter and every once in a while i'd see sarah's hand drift up to grab this item or that from the counter.  we decided to have the cheese cake right away so that we wouldn't have to clean up twice.

back to felting fever.  the group in the living room watched age of adelaide.  katie did art like me.  but unlike me she did an appropriate size.  andrea didn't do one project she helped everyone do their projects.  everyone was always calling her name and she was a consultant to everyone.  mom was particularily needy for andrea's approval.  any time andrea would say someone else' was good or would help someone else, mom would say "she wouldn't say that to me..."  and anytime andrea gave her stamp of approval was a little nugget of blessing for mom.
it was some time late that night after i had sudsed and swirlied my finally finished piece that i found out i had to do a back side.  this is when i wanted to cry.  i literally had a lump in my throat.  also katie did me wrong by taking my already fluffed white wool that i had discarded not knowing a backside was needed.  andrea was helping her, and they got to the hot and cold dunking stage and got it all shrunk up. then they turned their attentions on me.  everyone else had gone to bed.  but i couldn't quit before my backside was done.  i had a burning desire to get it done and along with the burning desire a sinking feeling of hopelessness that my task was too big and my burden too heavy.  but my sisters took pity on me.  

with ease and speed they helped me fluff and finish the back side.  then we did the soap and gauzy scrubbing  and that's when we realized that that stage went so much faster and was way more fun with 3 people doing it together.  then we rolled it up in the bubble wrap and we squeezed and rubbed and unrolled it and rolled it up in another direction and squeezed and rubbed and then we began karate chopping it and punching it. one time i energetically chopped it right near the end of the roll and a big plop of blue suds flew out and landed on the front of katie's jeans.  we were laughing and giggling.  we were all tired and i bet their eyes were burning like mine, but they really turned my moment of felting despair around.  we dunked the hot and the cold in tubs in the bathtub and opened it and looked at it and dunked it some more.  actually andrea took over dunking for me when she saw that it was making me aspirate on my own acids.  by 3am we were finished.  we mopped up all the blue suds and i washed all the bubble wrap and we dropped into our beds.   to me this is one of my favourite memories of girl's weekend.  sisters help us carry our burdens and they make things light and we make each other laugh.  that's one things i love about all my sisters. my sisters always make me feel like i'm not alone in my struggles.


this was the night that delanie heard me 'peeling plastic' for a long time.  in reality i was struggling to put on my wrist splints. haha.



saturday morning we had bagels and cream cheese and a yummy fruit salad made by none other than mudsy and a helpful serving person who got up early and helped her.  felting continued.  after being the recipient of such kindness from my sisters i tried to pay it forward.  katie left her art (she thinks it loos like a hundson bay blanket but i don't)and took on the challenge of queen elizabeth's slippers.  we tried to help everyone in their agitation stages.  on this day the palm sander came out.

 i almost forgot the poking rounds.  katie and i and sarah were all needle felting.  well sarah stopped to give andrea a severe braid. mom was working on her slippers, i think.  katie andrea and i began to sing different rounds using only poke and variations of the work poke such as pokity or pokey as the words.  mom joined in too.  later i started singing this song about shrunken duncan and sarah added hilarity to it.  too bad we forget how it goes.  these were more  of my favourite moments.

jane and her bag...

this day's outing was a short visit to see eryn at a near by craft fair.  some people bought some things.  sarah, delanie and tracy all got super cute girl's weekend earrings.  

i ate a leftover shawerma.  everyone made croissant sandwiches.  brent took malachi on a date to the pool.  after i finished needle felting all my edges, i started felting my jellyfish on.  this was the fun part.  and i liked it because anyone who wanted to could come by and add a jellyfish tentacle so it became a group project.  elizabeth's slippers, which you can also see in this pic. did some weird things. i  wish there was a pic of them.  once they finally got to the hot cold stage they only shrunk down not in width.  so they ended up looking like these long purple submarines.  but katie's fabled determination kicked in and she did not give up on those slippers.
 that night we had a late fun-due.  there was cheese, meat AND chocolate.  it was an ambitious meal.  i tip my hat to this group, which was sarah, tracy and andrea. we had to rotate every once in a while so everyone could reach the different pots and at first this was chaos but we got it down to a science after a while.  tatiana joined us for this part of the weekend.  one funny fun-du moment was when katie had piece of chewed up meat in front of her on the table.  we counted back the chairs and realized jane had been there before katie.  when asked if she had done it, jane matter of factly admitted to it.  yeah, i did that. shrug.  lol.  jane and elizabeth really enjoyed the fun-do.

thank you tracy for this flattering picture of myself just about to stuff a cheese fondued pepper into my gob.


my feet were hot and swollen so i took a break downstairs before chocolate fundo time.  this is where the queen elizabeth found me and i finally made her dreams come true and played stinky pinky with her and jane, which she had been wanting me to do all weekend.  this is when i discovered the sweet things her and jane had been up to, also.  i was laying on my stomach on my pillow and elizabeth was like "where's your pillow?" and i was like "i'm laying on it..."  and then the subtlety ended.  she showed me the note they left me on my pillow and then the notes that they had left on everyone's pillows.  notes thanking people for different things... and they had left little colourful postit tags with nice messages on people's head boards saying things like "you-are-nice-and-cool-and-neat".  the day before elizabeth had been sticking those messages on people's hair and backs and arms.  in the middle of the chaos it was easy to ignore the little sunshines that they were being. but i noticed and i appreciated.

 delanie went home that night and got a good sleep in her own bed.  unfortunately her van broke down before she could leave so doug had to come get her just as she was about to fashia blast my arms.

 that night we stayed up late because that's what we do.  people were washing their projects and cutting them and stretching them etc.  i lay on the couch and andrea massaged my swollen feets, which actually cooled them off.  then someone, i don't remember who, suggested we put our bums against the wall and our feet up the wall.  this quickly turned into hilarity.  it's harder than it looks to get your bum flush to the wall ok.  in this super flattering pic i was grabbing andrea's jeans to propel myself down while katie was shoving herself down using the over the head method.  andrea and i were very close together and she kept resting her elbow on my ribs.  any time i would complain about this she would laugh and cry out "i have arms!" like a strange manefesto.  this naturally led to some discussion on length of legs and length of torso.  i won the torso height competition.

i had to break the pose first but that didn't stop me from suggesting a synchronized leg dance with everyone adding a move, which everyone readily agreed to starting with sarah and ending with tracy on the far end.  sarah believes it was her idea that each person add a move, and who knows? maybe she did! each person's move ended up having different sounds or words to it.  at the end we tried to do it to our girl's weekend theme song which was girls have power  to the tune of scripture power, but we forgot all the words, so we basically just hummed it.  tracy filmed it.

katie is amost completely hidden by my girth.  luckily she popped her little head up.
 after the synchronized leg dance, we talked and laughed a while longer and tracy fell asleep which we all teased her about, because the truth is she acts like she's drunk when she's tired.  and the teens wandered in and we showed them our video and i don't remember much else.  oh sarah braided most of the girl's wet hair.  natalie was already in bed though.  i think she was miffed because i wasn't ready to give her back her elastic yet, but i still needed it.  and she didn't need it she was just worried i wouldn't give it back to her.  andrea and i traded beds because she found her cot bunk quite uncomfy.  i don't know if i was just too exhausted to notice but it seemed better to me than the bunk bed so it was a good trade.

 the next morning came too soon and i woke up early to have a shower before church. when i was nekkid i heard a creepy voice through the door.  like a ghoulish whisper "laaaaaura!"  "yes?" i answered back, a little unsure.  "can i come in when you are in the shower?"asked the ghoul.  i was nervous but i answered in the affirmative.  once i was behind the curtain, in waltzed sarah, the person behind the ghoulish voice.  providential because i forgot my towel and she got it for me.

  i laid natalie's elastic gently on her pillow by her slumbering cheek.

we had waffles!


later sarah and i were both in the bathroom doing our hair and make ups and tracy came in.  she wanted to shower but was waiting for us, and we eventually told her to just get in the shower so she did.  but she felt weird about it, not being used to sharing bathrooms with other girls like us.  i think she enjoyed it. 

i uesed sarah's gold foil eye shadow and her salmon lip stuffs.  enjoyable.

sarah and mom came with me in my car to church.  we were last because i couldn't get my boots on. too bad for mom who gambled that i would be the first to leave, and lost.  once we got there katie's row was full, so we sat in a side pew paralell to theirs.

i was so tired that i did not listen very well to the talks.  instead sarah and i looked at pictures on my phone and typed people according to energy types.  i'm sure it was not mom's proudest moment.  suddenly all i could think of was energy types.  in sundsay school sarah and i started 'flash typing' people.  our teacher was a one.  the basketball hoop had all the types....  yes it became a sickness.  in rs i decided katie's counsellor was a one and i took it as a compliment to me.  the lesson was good.  it was on prayer.  there was a cute super chubby baby of round face and full cheeks.

after church we had something weird to eat.  what was it. i can't think.  all i know is that we also made mom's famous cheesewhiz popcorn and watched queen of katwe which was very good and we agreed it was very appropriate for girl's weekend.

sarah observed some funny interactions between elizabeth and jane in their popcorn eating.  elizabeth was  let's say the boss of the popcorn and jane was her laid back self.  like yeah ok.  the best quote of that interaction is "that's going to be your last popcorn in a looooong time."  haha.  

after the movie mom, tracy and her girls left and that left me and sarah and the schofields. we had one last task.  do some promised school photos.  sarah was my stylist and she did a good job.  we decided to style each child according to their type.  sarah believes michealah is a two so she put her in muted pink with a flowy scarf (i don't know she has strong 4 tendencies too so... 4 might just be her strong secondary, i don't know) and a loverly side bun.  natalie got her hair curled and fluffed out and she looked like a BABE. she had on her little edgy black plether jacket and she just looked gorgeous. i  hope she keeps up her type 3 styles because it works for her.  katie and i consulted on elizabeth's attire. i realized this weekend with her buyoant free light ways, and high energy, and not wanting to do things once they didn't seem fun, and her sunshiney uplifting messages to people that elizabeth is very much a one.  her bossiness makes sarah wonder about that, but i think it's very clear.  anyways katie found a shirt that was brown and pin and gold with a crown on it that said "let them eat cupcakes" and that seemed very queen elizabeth to me.  she was wearing purple jeans and had her hair in the side braid.  malachi was in his cute little vest with a bow tie.   we went to cultus lake and at first i was discouraged because the light was too harsh by the water.  but then katie and i took a walk towards the trees and found some good light and ended up using the light glinting off the lake through the trees as a lovely background, which worked so well.

that night i got home went to sleep and woke up with hay fever.  the END.

ps. this is tracy with her bag. she's using it only for lady's events.  i wish we had more pics of people's finished products.  natalie made a super cute hat which at first we worried was super weird--but it just needed some trimming and shaping.  she put a cute black bow on it.  many a cute slipper and bag...

this is my jelly.  it's not done.  do you think it's too much??

ps. i'm so glad katie and michealah took on the messy job of hosting us.  i know hosting us can be chaotic and things rarely go as planned but it was a special blessing for us to be together and i really felt that.  in the end it doesn't matter so much what we do but that we bond together and i really felt that amongst all the generations.  you did a good thing.  loveies to you.