Thursday, December 22, 2016

2. icicle marriage bed

sunday was a blurry stupor of exhaustion.  i do know kyle made me a scrambled egg benny which was yummy.  i do know it snowed big fat flakes in the morning and we talked about the possibility of missing church.  i do know we ended up going and i wore my christmas red velvet soldier jacket and purple leg warmers.  i do know that colouring with sloan in the 'adult colouring book' kept me awake during sacrament meeting.  i was alone for a while in sunday school and that guy that sarah says likes me because he talked to me once at the summer fair activity i was forced to attend with her, came and sat at the end of my row.  sarah takes this as a sign.  her and kyle eventually came back and sat by me.  people were sharing their favourite book of mormon scriptures.  i tried so hard to listen and follow along but i kept waking up, not knowing i had fallen asleep.  relief society was worse.  i chose a row that all the old ladies like to sit in and i didn't notice until i was too deeply rooted in my commitment to my travel plan to the back right corner against the jutting wall.  so i found myself in a row cheek to cheek, if you will.  the teacher, sister faganello, was very good and handed out cookies and there was a video and i barely know what was said...living a christlike life i think.  coincidentally sarah and kyle were invited to the faganello's for dinner.  i stayed home to sleep and they asked about me and sarah explained that i didn't get a good sleep and sister faganello did an imitation of my zoned out zombie face and said "i wondered if i was really that boring..."  haha.  i did have the time to figure out she is type one though.

so i didn't know what to do about the cpap.  obvs i couldn't just live my christmas vacation not sleeping.  and i didn't know anyone who i could ask to send it to me, or how long that would take.  turns out kyle saved the day.  he has the snore guard thing that is molded to your teeth and keeps your jaw from moving... part of the reason i need a cpap is because my jaw moves back and interferes with normal breathing.  so he boiled and and we remolded it to my teeth and i tried it.  slept for 3.5 hours straight without ever waking up.  woke up feeling so much more refreshed and had a pulled pork bun and a tart.

we played camel cup and i lost as usual.  i always come in last.  when i was here in july we played and had a hilarious time and lets just say there was a lot of silliness and i may or may not have added a chocolate almond to the game.  sarah saved it which is only right.  you roll the dice from a pyramid with a open close slot.  the almond was in there.  kyle kept hucking it and i kept retrieving it.  this war continued and included me trying to make him lick it and then putting it in his ear, and in the end he flushed it, which upset sarah very much.  not much deterred i snuck a new thing into the game.  then sarah and kyle went to bed because they go to bed around 10, 10:30 and i was wide awake.


Wednesday, December 21, 2016

1.the farquad of christmas

i had the flu.  not the kind of flew where you spill your guts, but the kind where you have a fever and headache and occasional sneezing.  i stayed home from work a couple of days but i thought i was feeling better, so i came back to work.  you know, when you are sick at home and part of you is thinking, maybe i'm just hypochondriacing this?  but then you get back to work and once you are not constantly in bed you notice--hey i don't feel great.  it's not just in my head.  and then you have a low grade fever and your cheeks are flushed and the rest of you is pale?  yeah--that.  but i was all whatevs--i'm on vacation in a couple of days!  so i worked the 3 days, and on thursday night i got home from work after we had a gas leak scare...and i landed in bed almost right away and i began to feel worse and worse and basically i got a cold.

friday night i was in a bad way. weak, sniffly sneezy, conjested.  i stayed in bed basically until i had to pick heather up.  heather spent the night before flying home to the heartland for christmas.  i forced heather to look at all the treasures i had collected for christmas.  then i talked to her when we should have been sleeping.  finally shut ma trap, and we went to sleep some time after 12.  at a rude time of 4:50 am my alarm went off.  i braved the bitter cold and drove heather to the airport.  then i went home and got back in bed for a while.

sarah arrived on the 8:30 ferry.  she came to resurrect the let's shop til we drop and then take the ferry together christmas tradition.  we had some time so we had a white spot breakfast.  our server, carmelita, was a little odd.  she kept talking to herself but pretending it was us she was talking to.  "it's going to be busy today!  all these people are probably shopping" she'd muse to herself while standing in front of us.  i got a chorizo goat cheese omelette. how could i not.  carmelita asked if i wanted the shredded hashbrowns or the smashed hashbrowns.  i didn't know which were better, so i asked her and she said "you're getting the grated hashbrowns" with such authority that i did not argue.  sarah got a benny because bennys are her thing.  she was not swayed by carmelita's grated hashbrown offensive.

outside was arctic and one hightails it to ones car in the arctic. in all the comings and goings of the morning, and all the ins and outs of bed, i forgot to put on make-up.  "oh i have my make-up right here." says sarah with the cheer of a woman never far from her make-ups.  and so it was that in the parking lot of tsawwassen mills mall sarah applied cranberry foil eye shadow with a dusting of purple on my lids.  ...followed by a race with cold to the doors.  i started at a sprint, lagged to a jog, dwindled to a trot, and ended off with a fine heavy breathing walk, but sarah high tailed it the whole way and spent her time doing gyrations for me in the warmth of the doorway.

the new mall is impressive.  we were suitably awed by all the gorgeous art work and whatnots.  it's also huge.  we were there 7-7.5 hours and we barely finished it's circumference. carmelita's words echoed in our minds frequently "too many sports stores and too many clothing stores"  "what does she want in a mall?!" we asked each other earnestly.  so we shopped and we shopped and slowly the mall sucked our souls dry, a figurative lizard tongue to the navel, if you will.  we were in this zombie like state in the line up for marshalls when sarah inadvertently said something that accidentally sounded rude.  which we laughed about but then it evolved into something that had us completely losing it in front of a bored cashier who completely ignored our hysteria. it was the kind of laugh that weakens your whole body making you want to slump into a weak heap of tears and high pitched laughter.  and your face is so permanently scrunched up with laughter that you can't see out of your watery eyes and your knees barely hold you up.  so that happened.

at some point we fed our shopping weary bodies.  at that point the food court seemed to wide and cavernous to even cross.  but we found chachis.  they make yummy grilled sandwiches.  sarah got pulled pork and mac n cheese  and i got a ban mi.  we also indulged in a vanila bourbon lemonade.  and with that sustenance in our bodies we moved on looking for our next brain to eat.

we found saks 5th avenue which is kind of like a nordstrom rack.  sue and dave the husband were there.  we may have found some treasures there and i may have won 15.00 off my purchase there.

we bought things.  my lower right shin on my left leg went suddenly bum and unbum multiple times.  we burned our tongues off at a hot sauce store.  while at the store i put together a gift pack option of disturbing hot sauce names like 'anus angst' and 'keister killer' (that one had a picture of a bum with fire coming out of it)  there is only one demographic that that advertising would actually appeal to.  eat this because it will cause your bum extreme pain when it leaves your body is more of a deterrent for me....but an intriguing enticement for others.

so to recap, i had very little sleep, i had a cold, and i spent the day getting my soul sucked from my body.  5:30 we were leaving the mall and i still had to go home and get all my stuff and try for the 7pm ferry but all i wanted was to prostrate myself on any level surface and pass into oblivion.  nonetheless we went to my house.  sarah stayed the car because of her cat allergies.  i went in and  started gathering all my stuff and leaving them on the porch and then sarah ran up the stairs and lugged them to the car and stuffed them in.  it was just before 6:30 and we had a good feeling that we were going to make it.  before i had even gone farther than a block i realized i left my washed garments in the laundry room.  we circled back and i ran in got them and back to the car.  "was that the death knoll to catching the ferry?" i asked sarah. "only time will tell", she weirdly sing songed in a pinched old british lady voice.  i didn't question it because, well we were souless.  just as we were backing out again i was sayign something about my old car and then i slammed the breaks.  the mini foosball table i got for the boys was in the back of it!  i ran out and tried to open the hatch back but it was frozen solid, so of course i began kicking it in a frenzy of desperation.  somehow the voice of reason managed to seep into my conciousness.  try the back door it whispered, so with one more savage kick, i opened the back door and got out the foosball and rushed to the car.  "that one was probably the death knoll" intoned sarah in a flat lifeless voice.  "only time will tell!" i sing songed in a pinched old ladie's voice.

we arrived at the ferry gates exactly at 7, so yeah we missed it.  and there is no 8pm to victoria on saturday.  so we had some time to kill at the quay market "is it kway or kee?" asked sarah, "no one knows!"  "yes we do know.  it's kee".  first thing we did was get some ali babba pizza. we were eating it when the dread knowledge washed over me.  i forgot my cpap.  and there was nothing that could be done.  dread.

we stopped to look in the news shop.  it had these really cute stuffed owls that were so soft.  sarah was ogling them when the great water disaster of 2016 occurred.  one started to topple, causing the others to topple, causing the remnants of water from her cup, to spill on the floor and over the chocolate bars.  the lady behind the counter came over to help and sarah told her about the water.  that's when her friendliness turned ugly.  "that's why certain things aren't allowed in the store" she said.  "i'm really sorry, it was an accident" said sarah.  (there was no sign about water in the store), the lady continued  wiping everything up with a kleenex and tut tutting.  "can you bring the water out of the store!?" she said angrily.  sarah and i both said "it's empty!" but she kept tut tutting and sarah said "wow, you are being very rude." and left the store.  i left a few seconds later and we continued on to this jewelry store where we took our time looking at the different beauties and talking and laughing that we should go back and just huck some more water in the store as we passed.  the lady of the store was really nice and i told her what had happened.  she laughed about the no water in the store thing.  and she said she will tell the manager how we were treated.  then we went down the row and looked at scarves.  oh i forgot to say we bought kyle a caramel apple and ourselves some peanut brittle and a tigerbutter cup.

eventually it was time to get on the ferry and we did.  i was trying to plug in my phone and a guy behind me was trying to help me and so sarah said he liked me because he kept smiling at us with a benevolent beam from wherever we were.  we shopped in the gift shop and found some awesome socks.

driving to langford, i was so tired i had to resort to slapping my own face. then we sang songs to keep me awake.  kyle was already in bed and we went to bed too.  i had a loooooong night of waking up every few minutes without the cpap.  i didn't really get any sleep at all.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

but

today a miracle: after a year and a half of owning this car, today--today the fm radio suddenly works.  this after the fan breaks and a myriad of other things go wrong.

today when i was driving to the pool, the sky glowed golden to the west as the sun lowered in the sky.  everywhere else it was raining hard and the sky was dark.  this made for beautiful rain and a rainbow.  i felt thankful.

in aqua zumba...another staff joined us--chris.  i'm a mover in the pool.  like i almost squished a kid behind me.  like squished him against the wall because i was backing him up and pinning him to the wall of the pool without knowing it.  sorry kid.

my lower back feels like a stiff board.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

and

 on thursday afternoon i was in my kitchen making some eats and my apartment started to glow.  that's one thing i like about my place.  the golden hour, when the light is low on the horizon, filling the world with it's magical golden light, visits me in my place and transforms it into a glowing goldy haven.  i turned around and saw the light burning in the trees of the park and a boy playing amongst the fallen leaves with his bike, toting off big branches that had fallen during the previous week's storm.  this is a perfect moment i said to myself.  but cameras aren't as good as eyes.  one does what one can do.

that bottle of moisturizer on the window ledge has been there since i moved.  judy gave it to me once.  i don't think i have ever used it.  maybe it's time to let it go...




our rs is doing a 90 day challenge of reading the book of mormon.  i'm enjoying it.  and so is archie.  as soon as i begin reading, it doesn't matter where i am--he suddenly appears.  and he needs to be as close to on top of the book as possible.  i took this pic yesterday.  it makes me laugh.  he looks like a bunny for some reason.  he has that stubborn look in his eyes.  don't stubborn a stubborn mister.  pffft says archie. i can out stubborn your stubborn any day.  basically yes.

here is archie the stubborn bunny cat in black and white.

 and since you wanted it--you DID want it, remember?  i include a crop.
and you can't have the colour crop without the black n white.  that's just how things work.
 yesterday i spent most of the day editing wedding photos and nursing a pancake...just kidding, nursing a cold which may have just been allergies.  between friday and saturday i watched all the lord of the rings extended versions.  loooooooooong.

sunday morning i slept in and missed ward council.  i awoke at 8am thankfully because of an old alarm that was still set.  i got up and the first thing i saw was the sunrise soaked up in these fiery trees.   so i took a click with my phone and appreciated.  then i had a shower and was late for church.  the kind of late where you get sacrament in the foyer.

 but i did put together a pretty snazzy outfit if that makes a difference.   it had a lot of neato elements and details including striped knee high socks peeping over grey boots--socks that matched my purply sweater, and my silk fronted blouse with big painted flowers and grey knit pencil skirt and rosy red sea shell earrings.  it all came together in a pretty special and fantastic way.

church was good.  talks were good, sunday school on the beatitudes was good, young women's was good.  the girls seemed more themselves and rachel was back and so was olivia.  i missed those two.  after church was a linger longer potluck.  we've been having them since the summer, but i haven't ever gone.  but today before sunday school sister newman and sister rama encouraged me to come even though i didn't make any food.  they said they made enough.  i like the ramas.  i usually sit somewhere near them when i go to sunday school (and that's when i'm not naughtily doing my lesson during that hour)  the ramas are finish but know swedish.  and brother rama sometimes get's confused by some to be dad aka doug clarke sr.  anyways when i walked in and joined them on the back row, brother rama greeted me in swedish and then said, in swedish "my brother died yesterday".  i was not expecting that.  his brother was only 66 and lived in sweden they don't know how he died, which is what brother rama was mostly saying.  he seemed a little in shock.  he said they weren't close since he joined the church.  sad.

anyways i went to the potluck but i didn't want to sit at a table all alone or join some other family so i wandered out the door and found anabella, who i used to visit teach, in the lobby so i sat and talked with her and leilani was there too and later tracy joined us.  single ladies.  we had some good talks.  then we had choir after that because--brother gurney.  this year there is no stake cantata and i'm bummed about that.  and i won't be in our ward for our christmas program--christmas day.  so that's also a bummer.  but we might do some numbers in december, so that will be good.

after church i caught up on my book of mormon--many mosaiah chapters which were so good.  then i dozed a little with this furry purring lump on my chest.
i love this pic.  i love archie's yawn and once again the golden hour was visiting my home and do you think that chair can hold anything more?
 this one makes me laugh too.  archie cleaning his unmentionables and izzy sitting with a dime on a ham.
 had some freshy fresh as an evening snack.
i call these next two pics "through a glass darkly"  "for now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now i know in part; but then shall i know even as also i am known"--1corinthians 13:12



Monday, October 17, 2016

frehsy fresh






today's evan's birthday so in honour of that i'm reposting some of my favourites from the shoot we did in 2012 for his out of obscurity album.  yeah, and i just like them so....awkward pause in which you realize i'm flaunting my flauntables.

on saturday night i went to the opening night of canucks hockey.  they gave us free tickets in a penthouse suite.  it was pretty fun.  i wore my only jeans.  because my others have holes in them.  i got these jeans in the spring/summer this year.  they are sevens and they were not cheap.  i had high hopes for them.  high apple pie, if you will.  they were melissa mccarthy sevens and i believed as a curvy lady melissa reinforced her jeans in the right spots. i think you can see where this is heading.  sunday afternoon i was putting away my clothes and i picked up these jeans--my only jeans--the melissa mccarthy sevens jeans-- and what did i see?  big hole in the butt.  now i'm jeanless.  pffft. *throw up my hands* *kick the dirt*  *bang my head on the wall*  i don't even want to buy new jeans.  it's just throwing money away!  on the other hand i need pants.  this could end up like the toaster. ( i didn't want a toaster unless i have the exact toaster i wanted and i still don't have a toaster.  toaster. TOASTer).  meanwhile i wore my cool hip and sassy new yoga pants to work today but this is not a long term solution. stay tuned.

on saturday i decided to get some exercise and do some errands at the same time because truth be told i enjoy a good stroll in stormy weather.  i do.  so waltzed out in the wind and rain with my backpack.  i walked down the post office and mailed biffanee's paints (proud of myself for that one)  then over to the pet food store and then over to the grocery store.  i stuffed everything into my backpack and before going home i stopped for a little frozen yogurt at the new neighbourhood qoola because obviously yolo froyo.

anyways i was wearing my toe shoes.  no big deal.  and everything was fine.  but then on the way to the game on the skytrain and such my achillies tendon was super sore making it difficile to walk up and especially downstairs.  and i was like seriously, tendon?  it was just a walk.  *eye roll*...  if that's how my tendon is going to be, i'm going to do some aquasizing.  so i looked it up and that's when i saw aqua zumba and i was intrigued.  

(is it just me or is my writing super boring and lame right now)  be quiet.

today i called upstairs to theresa.  she wasn't at her desk so i left a message "hi theresa, i have a super special proposition for you so get back to me.", i said thus passing on the feeling of intrigue (brother morely's favourite word when teaching is "intriguing" and i think he would be pleased right now) to theresa.  when she called me back she basically admitted her feelings of intrigue.  "two words" i said to her, "aqua zumba", really emphasizing and lengthening out  each word so as to accentuate how awesome it would be to go.  it worked.  theresa right away began planning the necessary arrangements, namely a deforestation of her legs.  

the said deforestation as it turned out almost kept her from class because of shoddy razors and thick undergrowth in the leg forests.  i on the other hand kept deforestation to the minimum by chosing my takini with the sagging old skirt.  wise choice?  we shall see.  so i was there before tiny t and i got into the pool about ten minutes before class.  it was my first time to minoru pool and i liked it.  i could see the sun setting from the windows.  i just hung out in the shallow end minding my own business and keeping out of the way of all the lane swimmers who were getting in their last laps.  that's when i saw him.  it can't be him, i thought.  but yes it was.  it was john d. a member from the clubhouse.  and yes he did notice me and yes he did come up to me his white beard all glistening with cholrinated water, his flippers and his goggles at the ready.  

john told me he left the other pool area rather than punch someone in the face and i said that was a good solid decision.  it's the noise that bugs him.  he said he's had words with clive (or was it owen? i don't know) about the noise and asked him repeatedly to do something about it.  want to do something for mental health?  bring peace to pools, said john.  that's a nice bathing suit said john when he should have been gathering his breath.  i love exercise said john.  if i didn't exercise i'd be dead long ago. nod nod nod.  i said.   soon a cute spunky looking east asian canadian (is that a thing?) lady was standing at the edge of the pool and clapping her hands.  i assumed she was the instructor and i said a hasty goodbye to john and drifted closer the lady along with a handful of other ladies and a few men.  sure enough she started dancing and leading us in our zumba experience.  for the most part i could follow along. the good thing about aqua zumba is that it is harder for people to tell if you aren't doing it correctly because most of the movement is underwater.  i dig that.  so we did some warm up dances and it came to me quite early in the whole experience that my choice of bathing suit was not as fantastic as once believed.  namely my skirt kept falling down and floating up at the same time. i constantly had to hold it up.  lesson learned.  after 2 or 3 dances t-bone siddled up to me.  and we did the rest of the class together.  it was quite fun and that's what people like me care about. we care about fun.  we are fun fanatics.  i was never quite out of breath but i'm feeling right now that i got a good abs work out so that's cool.  i impressed our instructor and was basically the star of the class at one point when i was one of the only ones who could do a complete 360 turn in the pool. *beaming cherub cheeks full of sunshine*.  of course there was that other time when i just could not get the foot work right *crimson cheeks of shame*.  but truthfully no on looked like they were doing what spunky pants was doing and as theresa said, "i'm going to do my own interpretation on that".

after class t-train and i mutually assented to time in the hot tub.  which was nice.  but after a while i really needed to pee so we went in and changed and yadda yadda.  i will say this very important tidbit, when i did pee, it smelled like cabbage.  you're welcome.  i've been eating a lot of cabbage lately because i made a fantastic slaw with red cabbage, apple, fennel, onion, ginger, carrot, cilantro, olive oil, rice wine vinegar, apple cider vinegar and lime juice.  it's fantastic and freshy fresh.  i've been eating it with every meal.  





Sunday, October 16, 2016


once upon a time i had a lonely birthday dinner for one in a restaurant high on a hill overlooking the agean sea.  i was the only customer in the restaurant.  there was birthday confetti scattered across my table and a red wild flower in a vase covered in tinfoil and tied with a red bow.  

in another land far away it was a rainy fall weekend.  bethany, ben and amy were my house guests for douglas' wedding and thanksgiving.  during this visit ben found my red sea shell earring that had been lost in the bowels of my old couch for 9 or 10 months.  that's the reason i couldn't get rid of the couch and it stayed in limbo straddling the border of the kitchen and living room and gathering piles of bags and stuff since february.  then ben almost single-handedly dragged my heavy couch out the door and down the stairs to the side of my house.  something i never would have been able to do myself.  

the relief of having the clutter of the old couch gone and the wide spaces opened up again--that alone was so great and i felt so grateful to ben for his service.  but that's not the only service ben performed.  he emptied the kitty litter.  he tidied the huge pile of papers on my table.  he arranged my boxes and bags neatly on the periphery of the room and he or bethany cleaned my stove top and swept the kitchen floor.

it's like my birthday came in october this year.  i feel blessed. 

yesterday i went for a walk in the rain.  i mailed off biffanee's paints that were left behind.  the lady in the post office had a weird reaction to me.  she greeted me so warmly said something like "oh it's you!  you haven't been her for so long!"  i mean that's true...but she made it seem like i was a regular.  i didn't question her on it and just pretended that we were old friends.  then i bought groceries and cat food and stuffed them all in my backpack but before waddling home i stopped at the new qoola and had a little frozen yogurt. by the time i was walking home the rain had stopped.  

there's this house on the way home that has live and thriving glorious orchids PLANTED IN THE GROUND.  i mean how???

i put away my groceries and washed the dishes and had a shower and drove to meet work peeps before traveling downtown together to watch a canucks game.  they have us box seats.  it was pretty fun, even for someone who is meh about hockey.  they scored on themselves.  ha.  that's how it started.  but by the end of the night they tied it up just before then end of the 3rd period. then 3 on 3 overtime and then shoot out.  we won.  so that was cool.  

i even went to bed at a responsible time.  now everyone is going to like me for being such a good girl.  #winkwink  #youlaughbutthatswhatiactuallythinkdeepdowninsideandimjustmakingfunofmyselfforbeingsosilly.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

me + yous = 3rd wheel fun

summer, i in turn love you and endure you.  you are like youth--you give the impression of lasting forever but suddenly you are over.

yesterday was so hot.  i felt like i had heat stroke in my own home.  i was watching the track and field olympic events like high jump and the 4x4 and 4x1 races.  i couldn't stand my clothes.  they were my lightest things but their weight and heat oppressed me.  the couch was a bed of heat.  i ended up stripping down to my nothings and having a cold shower.  then before i dressed again, i ran my clothes under the tap and put them on damp.  this is how i survive.

earlier i texted katie "what fun thing are you doin?" i asked.   that's how i found myself on the road to abbotsford friday night.  google maps took me way south to avoid traffic on the #1.  it's a backroads country route through south surrey, hazelmere, and langley.  i drove the the golden light of the lowering sun with all my windows down and laura loves love cd blasting.  fields glowed.<3 blasting.="" cd="" fields="" glowed.="" nbsp="" p="" the="">
when i hit the highway it was not long before i was exiting again just as the sun was setting and the sky was turning a dusky magenta.  yes, i made a wrong turn.  yes google maps sent me on a long goose chase through the fields rather than just telling me "turn around dummy", and i like a fool followed along until i was like, heyyyyy google maps, you sent me in a huge square!  after that little betrayal by google maps (i thought we were friends!) i quickly found macdonald dark sky reserve.  i pulled in behind brent's jeep, grabbed my sleeping bag and camping chair from the back and crossed the grass to join katie and brent at a picnic table.

i was just in time to join them for a movie.  brent had his laptop on the picnic table and we lined our camping chairs in front of it, our feet up on the picnic table bench.  but first i poisoned us all by very thouroughly dousing myself in bug spray.  i believe in being mosquito free.  i believe the children are our future...then we settled down for a nicholas sparks movie.  i forget what it was called but it was something about choices.  of course, being a nicholas sparks movie it was highly emotional and romantic.  i know what you're doing nicholas.  i can see you manipulating my emotions at the same time i'm helplessly wiping my tears away.  you're good at what you do.  brent was not impressed but that's because men are known to have hearts of ice in these cases.

meanwhile the almost full moon, that silver beauty, rose.  we knew it was coming but we hoped it would be behind the mountains so we would have some light free star gazing time.  but how can you be mad at the moon.  she's so gorgeous and she lights everything with this magic silver glow.  we walked down to a clearing and lay our blankets down and watched the skies.

we saw a few shooting stars.  and we tried to use the star gazing apps but they were weird.  i'm weird too, so it's like magnets who repel each other.  we were near a slough of the river.  and we kept hearing a sound.  brent thought it was a phone because it was almost like a vibrating buzzing.  i thought maybe a frog or a bird.  it came in three buzzing fog horn  like bursts in a row.  by the end of the night i settled on some sort of goose.  but the silver moon for all it's glowing did not reveal the identity of our star gazing neighbour.

we left around midnight i think.  deep sleepy fatigue washed over me as i walked to my car.  a week of sparseness in sleep time caught up to me right in that moment and i had an hourish drive home.  i knew what to do. i opend my windows, i blasted my music and i made myself sing loud and i made it home.  

Monday, June 27, 2016

don't read this. it's boring.



well on friday my magazine came.  i didn't expect it to come and yet it came.  it came without ribbons, it came without tags, it came without packages boxes or bags... (actually it was in a package, so.)  i was excited.  then jordan did me wrong.

friday night i drove out to chilliwack.  katie and i made coconut buttermilk syrup for our breakfast group.  we are not advertising the coconut aspect however, because it does not start with a b, and we are b group.  just know it's coconut buttermilk syrup and it's divine.  if we are telling the truth here, i did not actually really make the syrup.  i provided the recipe.  and i provided support.  but really katie was cleaning her oven and it was way too hot for me to stand near the oven.  i have my limits.  we sent natalie to bed and stole her movie.  austenland.  and then michealah came home from work bearing delicious tubs of frozen yogurt.  i had ordered coconut and passionfruit with scor bits, coconut and mango juice balls.  it was perfect.  at one point michealah got up suddenly from the couch, walked briskly into the kitchen straight to the window into the dining room and dove through it with a serving spoon to reach her orange cup on the table, which she could have taken as she walked by it.  kids are weird.  she got gussied up into her prom dress.  she's going to look gorge as usual.

next morning i was barely awake when i received a visit from malachi and queen e.  natalie showed up too.  we fooled around with some snap chat crazies and then went upstairs for pancakes.  i touched them all to find hot ones that would melt butter and michealah told on me.  malachi liked what i did and took it a step further, squishing them all.

i put my hair up into a ponybun and took natalie and queen e with me to katie's new house.  when we arrived brent was there with a bunch of roofers and floor pullers.  brent's philosphy of painting a house is just start painting.  and that's what happened.  i tried to cut in first as much as possible, but it was a losing battle.  often i was cutting in on already painted walls.  i was able to tape off most of the kitchen with noodlie's help.  but she abandoned me once i pulled out the stove and we saw the horror that lay beyond it.

burt was another cutter in guy.  burt was the painting coach to all the painters.  eventually doug, douglas and josh showed up and morgan and avery and brinna.  and we painted our hearts out.  one time a worker walked through the kitchen and asked me if he could show me how to properly use my brush.  so i allowed him.  but i didn't really get it.  but i pretended i did.  that's how i handled that situation.

we got there at 9am and we went strong until 2pm when suddenly we were starving.  niki showed up with some delicious sandwiches, chips, and veggies and dip.  it really hit the spot.  then i had to take my paint splattered body home to get ready for stake conference. i thought i could get ready there.  hahaha.  i didn't factor in the need for a shower.  oh but first i made douglas and josh and doug read my magazine.

speaking of my magazine, there a few captions.  they aren't long.  people tend to want to look at only pictures.  take the time to read man.  words count.

i was so tired when i got home that i could barely force myself to get ready.  my eyes just wanted to close.  but i did because i was in the choir and the choir was small. and because i was giving rachel a ride.  these are things that make me do things.

but stake conference was good.  of course it was.  and it was good to sing in the choir.  of course it was.  after dropping rachel off, i bought myself some mcdonald's with a milk shake.

today was conference again.  and jordan was recruited to join the choir last minute.  jordan.  the one who did me wrong.  rachel spent the time making pinwheels out of post its.  whatever it takes.

i didn't have time to do laundry on saturday.  now i'm in big underwear trouble.

today one of the talks was on the sabbath day and how to make it special .  it specifically was about making it special outside of church.  and it specifically mentioned not just sleeping.  and i came home and had a looong nap.  4 hours.  others don't have my problems.  my over-napping disabilities.  others don't understand how i'm always teetering on the edge of dysania.

katie cruelly mentioned to me on the phone she was eating hagen daaz chocolate peanut butter ice cream.  like what am i supposed to do with that??  on a sunday??? could she be more heartless?  doubt it.