cry baby

i like to pray while i drive sometimes. today i was driving to guilford town centre so i had time for a good heart-to-heart-knee-to-knee with my Maker. as soon as i started to talk, i started to cry. "sorry, this is going to be an emotional one," i told Heavenly Father, "but for some reason you created me this way--gave me this body with these hormones, so it shouldn't be a surprise to you..." then we talked a lot. well i talked...and sobbed...and he listened. it's not that anything bad has happened. it's just that everything that happens hurts me in the heart. like i can't bear life. not in a way that i don't want to live, don't worry, but in a way that's too sensitive and raw. days like this will come and they will also go--and i'll be back to the very capable, laid back bear-er of life that i usually am.

as heather would say, "yech." 

mohammad says i should run from sadness.

i spent too much, but i console myself in that one of the pairs of pants was $15. apparently i mentioned the price to mom a number of times. haha.

mom is still picking at the drip. today she had douglas over to make an awning to shelter us from the drip. but he apparently found the hole and thinks maybe we don't need an awning. arabella made a pinecone person for mom's collection. we had lunch and ice cream. doug was here too. and tatiana.

ok good night.