whole personality
since being holed up at home last thursday, i've started feeding the crows on the balcony. i make a set of puzzles for them with different lids, and jars and then watch from my kitchen table. since dumb baby and bratty baby are no longer babies i feel like they need new names. i have already given dumb baby his new name--buffle. it's because of his big poofy head. buffle is a bully and is always chasing off bratty baby. the crows are less nervous about me when i'm watching them through the glass (i'm such a crow peeping tom), and therefore i can observe them with ease from not far away. i've notice that buffle-big-head has perky upwards ruffly tail feathers where most of the others are pointed more down. ie. he wears party pants. bratty baby, let's call him bert-the twerp, has a sharp face. today i gave them some tuna in some juice, which when it was down to the dregs, bert deliberately spilled it on the ledge. later i saw him trying to get at it after it dried. common bertie.
today i coloured on my tote bag and played with my new paint markers. i did that for a long time. no one knows how long. no one. it's good to be in the orinoko flow.
i managed to order groceries and get them delivered in the evening. i even managed to make a big pot of chili. everything hurts my mouth. not just from the now crusty sores that bejewel my lips but i have sores all on the inside of my mouth too. so that is what we call an eating deterrent. i feel like everything i want to eat is acidic--mandarins, lemon ginger tea, chili...the mouth pays the price. on the outside we are now at the stage of scabs. so it's pretty.
i'm at the stage where everything is getting better so i might make the mistake and think that i am better, but a sudden fatigue, or case of the chills, or malaise or coughing fit will remind me not yet. not yet.
wow you're really making illness your whole personality. yep.
in other news my lemon tree is in blossom.
oh i also finished even + family photos. they can be seen here
today i wore cotton shorts and purple legwarmers. chunky mustard sweater was an on and off again layer.
i leave you with an excerpt from the family group chat: "dad came home from hospital 2 this morning
unfortunately he had to go back today. but dr.poon came to the rescue and he's home now. while she was at the hospital mom texted me to say that she accidentally deleted all my texts that i ever sent her. i told her this was a rude action. it turns out that it all had to do with the voice clip she sent me at lunch time. the voice clip saying "stairs." now at the time i had a chuckle because i knew something had gone wrong in her voice to text and instead of texting me stairs, she sent me a voice clip of her saying stairs. (she left me some potatoes au gratin and spaghetti squash on the stairs). but it was in trying to delete that clip that she deleted all our texts. i had to send her screen shots of our latest conversations.
i lost the covid tests. without leaving this house, i lost them. they're gone. i'll never know when i'm not viral. never.
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