the 'vid in the now

hi. it's me. covid has sent me to you. it's 3:55am and i have been awake for 2 hours. i woke up from dreams about the genocide in gaza and it took me most of an hour to realize that parts of my body were not attacking other parts. i was so confused. "i thought my nose was on my side..." i actually thought. and then that thought in turn confused me. "it's all just my body. there are no sides. you aren't in a war." i had to keep telling myself.  my right nostril was so virulent. sharp and twitchy. producing sneezes (do i have to keep sneezing? it's been 5 days. of 'potent nose'  so far), making the whole side of my face to screw up and eyes to water. it's like  a live wire nerve on the fritz. so i decided to cave in and drink something hot. i've been rebelliously enjoying ice water as my beverage of choice all covid long.  ice water feels so good on my throat. ice water  cools my feverish body. ice water is a friend. i love the crackle of ice as the water hits it, the clink of the ice against the glass, the smooth lump of ice between my lips and the crunch of ice under my teeth. i love the way it hits the back of my throat.  but anyway i read that drinking something hot might calm down a sneezy nose. so. here we are. i'm using my beautiful whale's tail mug from heather and the small lemon from my tree. it might be working. the vicious warning of imminent explosion may be fading.

no.. it's still there and it's moved up to my eye. 

i was reading up on phlegm yesterday. mostly because of an incident where i sneezed and some flew out of my mouth and landed on the toilet paper i was in the act of gathering. it was a very unexpected colour. hot pink. with violet stripes.  haha. no. it was a dark khaki green and it looked weird. obviously this ignited my phlegm curiosity and the googling began. could be a sign of pneumonia. that's what the google says. but all the signs of pneumonia sound like the signs of covid so who knows. i haven't had trouble breathing EXCEPT THROUGH MY NOSE. which reminds me, on my phlegm journey i found a helpful article on how to get rid of phlegm. do tell. well one of the phlegm ridding exercises instructed me to only breathe through my nose. excuse me? do they read what they write? does no one edit these things? do you think people who are full of phlegm have full use of their nasal passages??  dolts. we don't need your theoretical advice we need real practical tips, man. i was so insulted. lol. the loss of nasal passage use is a tender issue for me. it means i have a hard time sleeping.  and if i could just sleep this covid away, that would be ideal for me. but i can't. and my mind is restless. it's driven me to blog, which is good for me, maybe not you. 

i've been avoiding the blog. too many things to write about piled up, overwhelming and now gone. heather leaving, making friends with shashi and her leaving, working on my health, improving my walking game, okinawa and so much more. it's amazing to me, how much of my own life i really do forget. when i look back on old posts from 2005 and find amusing stories that i'd totally forgotten. now me, is so glad past me wrote about them.  now me needs to do future me a solid and do the same.

now me has toilet paper stuffed up her nose holes. let it be known and remembered.