always hope

yesterday was a blah day. i felt so poorly because of the wheezes, curdles and hacks of the asthma lifestyle. so tired. two good things happened though. 1. martha and i had mango mochi shaved ice. then i dropped her off and she headed back to chiliwack.  i came home determined to do some puzzling while watching a show. lay on the couch with my eyes closed for a while instead. dad snoozed in his chair and mom was busy with many industrious things. i left during the vaccuuming phase. lay on my bed for a while and then made roasted potatoes  while they were roasting, 2. fatima and i had a long chit-chat-heart-to-heart-knee-to-knee. it was highly overdue. when we started i could hear the loud melee of children and mr. d in the background. "i'm talking to laura" said fatima when mr. d walked in "oh, did you tell her about my radio?" asked mr d. he's got a transistor. he is transitioning into a transistor radio enthusiast. it was only a matter of time. by the time i hung up around 2 hours later, all was quiet and still in the beatty household. in the clarke household someone was running for the toilet. it was me. don't eat a lot of roasted potatoes all at once, ok.  someone who knows told me that. it's me. i am the one who knows.

i watched church from home today. i didn't think it was right going to church and letting my horrendous coughs loose in everyone's faces. even if i don't have a virus (but who knows? but i don't think so) but still i didn't want to make people uncomfy in their church space. plus i felt not good. but you know what was good? church was good. it always is. so glad for it. during church i got an inspo of something i should pray about. a question i could ask Heavenly Father, in regards to a struggle i have. it isn't the first time revelations came to me during church. church is like that for me sometimes.

after church i had some good scripture study. lately i've been studying about strengths and weaknesses. in connection with that today i was studying humility. it's all the good stuff of the soul that i need right now. soul fed, i washed my body in the shower. it wasn't until i squeezed it on my hand that i realized that i had purchased shampoo and not conditioner yesterday. i let it wash of my hand and down the drain. got out 3 of my old bottles of conditioner and had to really dig for a usable amount. i did my diligent best. i can hold my conditioned head high.

then the cooking storm began. preparing the ham, trim the skin, score it. smother it in mustard and brown sugar. cover it in tinfoil and pop it in the oven. the oven was being difficult. i wanted a temperature of 325 but it would only jump from 300 to 350. fine i said, and peeled carrots, turnips, parsnips, and beets for roasted roots. why are beets so beautiful? they are such a gorgeous creation. i had purple one and rosy sun set golden beets. why? why are they so exquisite?? i visually adore beets. infatuated with beets. beet crush, right here.

i felt like my ham might be a big fat loser. i didn't know what i was doing. i scored it too deep. i cooked it on it's side, not face down. what if my ham was a loser?? i was beset with doubts. forget it, just keep doing your best, i said to myself. and in the end it was a gloriously tasty ham. the caramelized bits. ack. i ate them while carving. so sweet and salty and juicily delicious.

doug and del were there for dinner. del made her lucious buns. i had 3 ham bunwiches. after dinner mom suggested telephone pictionary. i made sure to choose the very sharpest pencil and then as i was putting it on the table somehow managed to stab finger with it. like pierced my greedy finger with the sharpest pencil of the bunch. lol telephone pictionary was hilar as it always is. we only did one round though. mom's drawings! delanie's too. lol!

and now i go to bed a seedling of hope unfurling from my heart earth. there is always hope.