the early days
i'm not going to give a detailed report of every day if that's what you think. well think again. i mean i could... i kept notes you know. my planner is less a plan for the future as a record of the past if you know what i mean. do you? do you know what i mean? are you also compelled to keep record of the most minute details of your life? i am. it appears to be my convalescence hobby.
heather stayed with me the next day. bless her. she was there for my steep learning curve, my fumbles and freak outs. that night i would be alone. we both agreed that before she left i should master the trip to the bathroom. so as we do, we did a practice run. i figured out how to maneuver the back wheels of the scooter without any help. i just took my knee off and pushed it in the direction it needed to go. easy peasy make me queasy.
when it came to standing up..something i was very anxious about, i found myself sitting on the toilet saying a prayer about it. common theme in my life. then i was like, just do a little try, with my left leg and the crutches planted against the side of the shower. so i did, and magically it was not that hard. and also i began using the revolutionary technique of pulling my pants down before sitting down and while still kneeling on the scooter. advancements in peeing. you heard it here first.
heather left 7:30ish. "so you will probably get up one last time" she was saying while at the same time i was saying "i'm not getting up ever again let alone tonight!" it was a super hot day and izzy was passed out on the floor like she had been all day. "she's not going to bother me," i lied to myself, "i don't need to get up to at least lock her out of my room for the night.
she bothered me. once it got cooler she bothered me. unfortunately she woke me up at different times than the pain pill alarms. so i got a lot of different wake ups. when i woke up for good before 6, it wasn't long before jane was here for her . i asked her to take izzy out so i could sleep more
jane teaches seminary. she comes before class to feed izzy. comes after class to feed me. on that first day she made me cheese toast and gave me my previously chopped pineapple and some salad. i asked for salad. to fight off the nefarious pain-killer-constipation.
i slept. and when i woke up leilani was here and jane was gone. leilani brought snacks! she has been appropriately named snack queen. heather set up this tray by my bed with my meds and wipes and sour candies and prunes, pens etc. leilani added chocolate peanuts, toffee coated coconut chocolate almonds and strawberry filled twizzlers. the strawberry filled twizzlers were a revelation. so soft and chewy!
we had evelyn's left over lasagna and salad for lunch. after lunch i gave myself a little wipe down with the wipes heather got me and changed my underwear. it's the little things. i called footbridge to get help with the confusing array of meds i had because i was getting low on hydropmorphone. the lady who i talked to explained that after hydromorphone i move on to the tramadol and she seemed quite certain that by the end of one week i would be weaning myself off. i couldn't quite imagine it at that point.
leilani washed my hair that night. i hung my head over the side of the bed and she filled what once was the bathroom garbage can (heather found a narrower one that wasn't in the way) full of water and sat behind me with a measuring cup dousing my hair in water. leilani's hands are very gentle. she massaged my scalp and followed my directions with the conditioner and gel. then we popped it up in the orange tshirt turban, as i do. having newly washed hair is the best feeling.
elaine and val (leilani's cousins) dropped off some food from the public market. yummy stir fried veggies with black fungus and deep fried tofu and prawns. and with leilani's prodding we also got slurpees. haha. we called annabella and chatted with her while eating our meal. annabella said you shouldn't eat shrimp when you are in recovery but it was too late for us.
that night i suddenly got itchy all over. like my back scratcher never felt so good! but it was more than my back it was everywhere. i looked it up later. it's a side effect of the drugs.
before i went to bed i did a bit of a tour and went into the kitchen to brush my teeth, and stopped in the living room to talk with leilani about about the different art on the walls. i don't know if it was being up for longer than usual or what but about an hour or so later i woke up with severe nerve pain. my whole foot was in agony and it burned. i whimpered for a while but it faded away and i went back to sleep.
the next day the trend continued although not as bad. about thirty minutes to an hour after getting up to go to the washroom i would get burning nerve pain. i told dr. howie about it when he called for our appointment. he's my family dr. we were just discussing meds. i have a med for nerve pain that makes you drowsy and i was supposed to take it only before bed. he told me to take it 3 times a day to see if it helped.
it was friday and heather came over for a visit. she had the day off. first she brought sahib in to samson to get his wheels torqued. whatever that is. shrug. then she went off in search of restoralax to keep me regular as all the salads, prunes and prune juice was not coming to desired effect, wink wink.
boring details. yet i persist.
restoralax is dissolved into a drink. there's no trace. as dr. howie says "it's not an explosive laxative. it just draws water back into the bowels." we had success. i drew a poop emoji in my day planner/recorder. celebration--like a toddler running to show everybody his first accomplishment in the potty.
heather made a comfy seat of pillows on the hope chest. one for the bum, one for the back. all the carers sit there. even izzy.
leilani met annabella when she was at the mall and they ate together at the food court. they called me. annabella sent spring and california rolls home for me. val made us biriyani. a huge platter mountain, apparently. it was too spicy for heather but she was happy with the prawn veggie leftovers from the day before.
we had ice cream with lil chocolate slivers in it and pineapple on top.
i started having lucid day dreams. i would be awake and could talk and hear others talking and be with it enough to understand them but at the same time be seeing weird things and scenes. the first one was a horse on a toilet. his legs all splayed out in front of him. i was texting fatima and i said "the wolves are advancing". i told heather that i saw her give a neat bundle of severed fingers to a baby who dropped them and wailed "i no like it!" those continued pretty non stop for a few days.\
there was one day, it might have been friday...i could not stay awake. i could not keep my eyes open. i tried so hard. if i fought to keep them open i couldn't focus. and i would drop off to sleep on a dime. i think i had 2 sudden naps that day.
i'm going to wrap this up. i keep wanting to write about the present day but don't because i'm stuck in the bog of details that is this post. so suffice it to say the first week i was super well taken care of by leilani, jane, heather, and many more who brought meals. i was drugged up. i was adjusting to pain pills and i learned to go to the bathroom and back by myself. also leilani was established as the snack queen.
my babysitter in her nest trying to read.
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