i'm not a hufflepuff. i'm a ravenclaw!

i worked from home today.  but i'm low on groceries and i was hungry.  i saw a video clip of someone stirring kraft dinner and that was it.  i had to have that.  we needed some bigger gardening pots for our garden so to hit two birds with one stone i went to walmart.  it probably wasn't wise.  the day before with all the party prep and then losing my phone (it was stuffed between the seat and the console), i did too much walking.  it's not a lot of walking but it was enough to be painful for bumfoot the rest of the evening.  walmart is so big and spacious.  to make matters worse i didn't have a loonie for a cart.  i wish all stores were as enlightened as save-on and abolished coins for carts.  the walk from my parking spot to inside was probably far enough.  when i got to the top of the escalator i looked longingly at the motorized carts but i felt like without the boot on i couldn't take it.  besides i was going to the next floor to look for gardening stuff.  i found some pots and splurged for a sunflower bird bath and some glowing orbs for our garden.  i got some smaller pots for my chubbies and some cacti lights for my porch.  it was a lot to carry without a cart.  my foot was getting sore and i was starting to huff and puff.  back down on the main floor i located the kraft dinner.  i was going to grab a few more groceries but i knew i couldn't manage it so i took what i had and split...after paying of course.

i feel a little stressed when i have experiences like that because i feel so limited in what i can do and being so huffy and puffy just from carrying some garden pots and a bird bath around a store... but then i remind myself--i don't have to worry.  it's all going to work out.  it's all going to be ok.  i just don't know how or see when.  but it will.  and i just have to do my best and trust.

back at home the kraft dinner did not actually hit the spot.  i always think it's going to be good and it never is very good.  but somehow i keep hoping that it will be.  it's the kraft dinner trap. haha.

i found this lady on tik tok.  she's a mom and a therapist and she is all about helping people who struggle to do 'care tasks'.  that's what she calls chores. i really like her way of thinking about it.  some of her strategies are things i do already and some i might try out.  but the big this is she takes judgement and shame out of the equation.  she says care tasks are not a moral thing. they are just neutral.  the most important thing is to have a functioning space.  she says 'good enough is perfect.'  i'll give you some examples of some things she does.  one is that she organizes the dishes into categories--i've always done that!  it helps!  one video that i saw today and really liked is she showed a space that was really messy and cluttered (she has a baby and a toddler).  she said if you are feeling overwhelmed just know that this mess is actually only 5 things.  one was garbage.  so she went around the room and only collected the garbage and left everything else.  after she did that it already looked better.  two was laundry.  she went around and collected all the clothes and shoes and put them in laundry baskets etc. three was dishes. she collected all the dishes and put them in the sink. four things that have a place.  everything, in her case it was mostly toys, that had place she put away. and 5 things that do not have a place went into a pile and once everything was cleared like that you  could decide where those things went. i liked it because each of the steps were small and not overwhelming but the momentum builds with each one and you see a big difference.  i like how she uses self-kindness and gentleness.  her thing is that any progress is progress.  she said even half-a$$ed cleaning is cleaning.  enehway, i'm going to try one of her things.  i'll let you know how it goes after i try it.

speaking of which i ordered groceries to be delivered and i also ordered a cheap stick vacuum from amazon.  it should arrive on sunday.  i never vacuum my bedroom carpet because my vacuum is broken and even when it wasn't, it was such a big production taking it in from the porch and setting it up etc.  i'm attracted to this little light vacuum because it is so light and slim.  i know it's not the best vacuum, but i only have my bedroom carpet and right now it's not getting vacuumed at all.  so a little cheap one will make a difference i hope.

i'm going to pee and go to bed.  maybe i'll brush my teeth too.  do you have to know all the details??