feed her treats

it all started this morning.  i walked in to work fully expecting to order some breakfast from the cafe downstairs.  i was going to get a breakfast burrito. had a plan.  but i stopped short when i saw the trolley sitting in the middle of our work area.  there was a pan covered in tinfoil on top.  "what's this?" i asked j9.  "i dunno", she mumble shrugged.  "you didn't look?" i asked incredulously.  "no.. i didn't really notice it." she confessed starting at the computer screen in front of her.  "you didn't even SEE it??" thinking this girl suffers from a terrible lack of curiosity...in the mornings.  i peeked under the tinfoil. it was two pans of homemade ooey gooey cinnamon buns! dave made them for us.  i ate a middle one from each pan.  and zing!  sugar high!  well, i was already super happy and cheerful and the cinnamon buns put me over the top.  everything i said or did was super animated.  i couldn't help it.  dave was laughing at me the whole unit meeting.

then after lunch dave and hope went out to the bakery and got me a coconut bun.  not THE coconut bun, but yummy none the less.  they got egg tarts too.  i didn't eat one then but i took one home.  then mireya came to do her social and she got extra shamrock shakes for me and j9... and finally for yw tonight we had a welcome party for claire, which involved cupcakes made by yumi.  a total treats day.  

maybe it was my last yw activity.  who knows? 

last night when i went to bed i was on kind of a high.  i was thinking about the power in language and how good it felt in those two situations to not allow anyone to put me down even in a joking way and to assert myself.  i was praying about that--the power in language and i was praying about the exquisite world of underwater wonder in the octopus movie.  i was thanking god for creating such marvelous exquisite creations and i had a snap revelation/realization.  i am his exquisite majestic creation too.  i have eyes to see the wonders around me but not the wonder that is me, created with pure artistic flare and unfathomable craftsmanship and given amazing gifts.  i am a wonder to behold.  i am created with just as much care, infinite detailed minute miracles and beauty as the things i delight in.  the kelp forest, the octopus, the piles of fluffy clouds i delighted in on the way to work yesterday.  we are all wondrous creations of god.  i know it is obvious but it is a total blind spot.  i never understood it exactly like that before.  it's all one.  

i feel like someone reading this will be like "um yah."  someone!  you don't get it!  it changes everything!

this morning i was thinking about distractions.  and how distractions are barriers to reaching our potential.  to becoming more us.  to connecting to people who need us.  to connecting with ourselves and to the spirit.  to connecting with god.  to putting off everything.  distractions are devious little jerks.  they like to seem harmless while leaching my life blood out in huge greedy gulps. blinding me to everything.  i see you.  i will splat you with my flip flop.