morning possibilities

 morning light is so full of promise.  anticipation and possibilities.  that's how i feel.  

thursday night i went to bed at 12 and woke up at 4:30, not able to breath well enough to sleep.  and my mind was awake.  but my body and my soul wanted to sleep.  when 8 rolled around i felt so haggard and yucky.  i was starting to feel drowsy and i was breathing better so i sent a message that i would start work late.  but i only slept 30 min. and still felt so ugh monster.  so i took a sick day.  

and i watched the mandalorian all day.  baby yoda.  but he's not yoda.  but baby yoda.  heart eyes.

had some nice texting convo with bethafub.  felt so emotional and lonely.  oppressively so.  had a good cry.  had a good sleep.  and today i snipped the leafeless vines off of fuschia and took out my recycling and am cooking lunch.  so those are good signs of life returning.  the ability to do things.

so i texted the bishop.  i said, i'm not asking to be released but in december i will have been yw president for 5 years and in the presidency for 6 years, i said if i was honest i was feeling burnt out and like i wasn't doing a particularily good job.  he texted back to say they have been thinking about it and talk about it every week.  but no inspiration yet.  he said he trusts me and i'm doing ok.  so, that's comforting that they are working on it. not that i'm eager to leave the girls.  i just feel like my ability to do it is waning.

ok bye