welp.

 welp.  i am once again on vacation and my hair is washed.  what's next.

i have to tell you two things. 1. popcorn brain-when i'm getting ideas fireworks that don't stop blasting for a while, that's exciting.  there's a real euphoria.  i love popcorn brain.  afterwards having to make the ideas come to fruition, that can be stressful.  the timing with my vacation time and making ideas happen was bad.  i ended up working all saturday to get things ready for the publication.  then i just have to leave it in their hands.  and i have to tell myself that whatever happens it doesn't really matter and i can let it go. let it goooooo.  and i did.  i did as much as i could and i let it go. and i feel good about it.

2. ants.  so for a while now when i have been sitting out on the deck at my little half moon wooden table, working, or eating or scripture study, or whatever, i have been seeing ants.  so there are these tiny ants that are always meandering across half moon table and i mostly ignore those. they don't bother me.  but i have been seeing these larger ants. and they are always traveling along the ledge highway.  they don't come off the ledge towards me so i don't feel threatened by them.  i mildly wondered what they are doing over at the neighbours and if they are eating the deck or something like that but although they are larger they don't seem termite large.  but then yesterday i saw one coming back from the neighbours carrying something and i thought...hmm maybe they live over here somewhere and i followed him on his journey and discovered to my shock, that they are building a home in the bottom of my dahlia planter!  so i made holes on the bottom of the planter but then once when my dahlia got really wet and wasn't happy i thought she needs more holes  and made holes on the side near the bottom.  well that's where i watched the ant disappear into!  and i noticed that one of the other holes has a little dirt pile kicked out of it, like one might do if one was building a tunnel!  what the.  i have a lot of emotions about this.  surprise obviously, curiosity-like what is the secret lives of these ants and how did they decide to put up residence in my pot and how long has this been going on for? and also revulsion--like seeing one or two ants at a time is fine, but the thought of a whole swarm of them grosses me out. it brings me back to the time i was weeding in the green house in prince george, as was my summer chore and i pulled a weed off the top of an ant hill exposing their colony and the nursery and the swarm of them made me want to barf. i don't know why.  why are bugs so revolting?

because they are.  like the revolting isopod, a bug of the sea, that was trundling towards me at great speed over the lumpy bumpy rocks  and i squealed in horror.  amy thought it was cute!  she had no right. it has cockroach antanae!  

but slugs are cute.  also i am a slug and amy and bethany can do slug mouths.

i shall now commence the last of the aunt camp posts. later i meet dave d for shaved ice.  it's a shaved ice life for me. a shaved ice life for me!