juicy

i had a case of the black water fever.  i think it was food poisoning or something.  the old lady that lives alone isolated from society wants to tell you everything--that i ordered mcdonald's saturday night and it started that night, escalating to writhing cramps sunday, but i didn't realize that i wasn't feeling well until half way through making myself a new potato hash breakfast with eggs and bacon and suddenly i felt nauseous and was like i don't even want to eat, but i ate it anyways because i didn't want to waste my effort and my genius, but it wasn't worth it, and by the end of dad's father's day zoom call i was having shivering chills and by the end of my after call with katie i was a flame with fever, and that i spent a fitful night with my cramps featuring in my dreams...and so on.  but i'll just say i've been sick. haha. i was required by work to get a covid test because fever and chills and headache are on the symptom list and even diarhee-rhee and stomach pain make the less common list.  so i found myself at the richmond drive thru testing station.  everything was rolling along easy and peasy until the nurse started towards me with a qtip.  without so much of a word or an explanation she stuck it way up my nose.  "don't pull back, don't pull back" she was saying while i was screwing up my face as much as it could possibly screw.  like a little warning?  then she said she couldn't get far enough in that nostril and quick as a whip was deep in my right nose hole.  when she reaches her destination she stays there ok. she stays there, hovering at the door to your brain, whispering words of compliance in your ear.  the violation seemed to last forever but what a relief when she whipped it out with a single swish it was out and already in it's little case and zipped in a ziploc baggie.  like she's an expert gaslighter--this never happend to you, drive on.  and i did.  25 hours later i had my negative result but i was still having wicked headaches. i started feeling better on wednesday.  the headaches eased into nothing.

this morning i felt so good.  my body felt so good.  so alive and buzzing with energy.  more energy than i've felt in a long time.  i was singing ditties, bopping, swaying, laughing to myself and just feeling so so so good.  i brought my work out on the porch, and gloried in the feeling of fresh air on my skin. i sang songs to crabby izzy and felt like i could spring up the back stairs two by two with all my groceries in my arms (i couldn't, but still).

that's how i know that i've been in a funk but i didn't know it.  trever cardno would have known, but not me myself. the contrast was revealing. i guess funks can wrap their gnarly fingers around your throat and  apply just enough pressure so that the world dims gradually until you forget the other reality of light and joy.  i don't know why i felt so happy and energized today unless the sick to health flipped the light switch back on, or it was just a gift from Heavenly Father, but i really enjoyed it.  oh yeah, life. juicy juicy life. i remember you.

i did just a small shopperoo today and bought myself a little sunshiny gift--another dahlia plant. this one has big dark green leaves and large yellow blooms. i lurv her.  i've been shifting her around the porch ledges today trying to find just the right spot for her.  my other lady is still plush full of blooms that come, delight me, and then go, continually blooming.  i'm a flower mom.  my basil plant is so happy and growing bushy and bigger.  i'm a basil mom.  succulent garden is so so so succulent delicious.  i'm a succulent mom.  the parsley and mint are doing ok..i'm more of an aunt in those cases, haha.  

i made a gorgeous salad for lunch.  mixed colours of cherry toms, chunky cucumber, flat leaf parsley, red onion,  minced garlic, feta, lime zest and juice, drizzle of olive oil, salt, some torn fresh basil, a swish of heather's precious blackberry ginger blasamic, a splat of apple cider vinegar and big spoonfuls shoved in my mouth.  i had it for supper too, with some sourdough that i toasted in my cast iron pan smeared in some leftover bacon grease and sprinkled lightly with garlic powder.  the best supper.