high tides

on monday when i bought groceries i also bought a pretty dahlia plant on a whim.  i've always loved dahlias.  it already had a pretty pink and yellow flower and lots of promising buds. today i got potting soil, a pot, a bunch of gorgeous succulents and a pot of tiny basil just like the plant i had in turkey.  i had to drive all over and i was listening to podcasts of esther perel while i drove with the windows down.  i love driving with the windows down, free, light and breezy.  i love the long days that we get this time of year.  i love my new plants.  may they all live long and prosper.

loneliness is a tide.  it goes out it comes in.  i'm feeling high tides right now.  it's hard to sit with.  it's not pathetic to feel lonely, i remind myself.  it's human.  and it's ok to admit you are human.  there is strength in facing it, inviting it in and sitting with it.  there is strength in letting it go.  there is wisdom in giving yourself a hug.  

there is joy in tiny details.  there is joy in melty fudgy fudgsicles.  there's comfort in my own body--my home.