brave new world

yesterday at work mari, my coworker, told me about a podcast called other people's problems.  he said it was a podcast where you listen in on actual counselling sessions. instantly i was interested.  so today after work i found it and started to listen as i had a shower, pinned my hair, played mahjong, and concocted one of my favourite ottolenghi salads, one i renamed tarty two shoes in my mind, but really it's called tart apple and celery root salad because ottolenghi for all his vision with flavours and foods is pretty straightforward with naming his recipes usually.  but the podcast--i was enthralled.  it is so good.  i could have listened and listened and listened.  and actually i did listen for probably almost 6 hours.  i don't know how to say exactly why i loved it so much.  one thing is her voice.  it is so...empathic and gentle and kind it is so...something good really good. something i noticed that i wanted more of.  the good things she gave her clients were just so good.  i know this doesn't make any sense but it made me think.  it made me think i want those things that she is giving.  and i obviously need to be more empathic, validating, loving gentle, honest, and solid for myself.  like it felt so good to hear her giving that to people.  being with them in their struggles and accepting them at the place they were.  i can do that for myself too.  that's just some of what's on my mind after listening to this podcast.

gotta sleep.