a mug of cake
i had some slump days at the beginning of this week, today i decided to step out of the slump. so i did the dishes and made raw beet and herb salad. it was one of the recipes from plenty more. i wasn't sure if i would like it. the description said it had 'healthy earthy flavours'. but i made a double batch. i peeled and chopped my beets into matchsticks during our zoom decision making meeting. tanya private messaged me and said my hands looked like i murdered someone. this salad has a LOT of herbs. it has basil, dill, parsley, cilantro and tarragon. it also has toast almonds, pumpkin seeds and sesame seeds, lemon zest and juice and red chilie flakes. in the end the salad was...ok. it's true--healthy and earthy flavours. i think tomorrow i'll add some more lemon and maybe some feta. we'll see.
i was going to make the eggplant cheesecake but i realizes that i am missing one thing--zaatar which is a middle eastern spice blend. i couldn't find it at freshco so i'm going to ask if i can borrow a couple of tsp from work. i know we have some because i bought it. i had grilled cheese instead and made microwave lava cakes for dessert. that was our social activity yesterday night so i tried it. it kind of worked. my melted chocolate was at the bottom.
we have really been trying to find ways to involve members in the work of the clubhouse even while we are all separated. one thing we came up with is the mental health week mail out. there is always a mail out during mental health week, which is the first week in may. so we made bundles of stamps, envelopes, labels, posters etc and dropped them off at 6 different member's homes. they put everything together and put the mail in the mail box. i also dropped off some birthday card making kits to our birthday card making team members. i did that yesterday. it was nice to be out and driving around richmond. it's a really beautiful time of year. leaves are out. dogwood trees, and puffball hot pink cherry trees are in bloom. city hall has these terraced shrubberies that are a stunning red with blooms. it was nice to see some members too. we all kept our distance.
i think it was going outside and driving around helped me feel better.
my birthday is in just a few days.
on this day in history:
in 2009 i don't know what i was doing, but i did post these pics of best bud from our epic photo shoot with the yellow sari.
in 2010 i was in utah with sarah and adriel. we drove there. we stayed with john and slavica and with karen. we went to tanis' wedding and we made hilarious posters for alysha's bid for student council. but i don't know exactly what happened on the 23rd.
in 2014 i was somewhere in the middle of the roller coaster of my most tragic relationship. there was a lot of drama and i hadn't even made it to egypt yet.
in 2015 i was recovering.
in 2016--on this day i was in selcuk and got up early to get ready for my tour of ephesus. i had a cold. i was the only one on the roof eating breakfast and the hotel owner sat talking with me as i was eating. there had been weird things. like he jumped up (short guy built like a truck) and kissed me on the cheek when i said i don't eat hard boiled eggs, but he walked away quickly and i thought "did that just happen ?" and "is that normal here?" now as i was eating he started touching my leg. i was uncomfortable but didn't know exactly what to do except eat fast and leave. it's hard to explain but it felt impossible to make a big scene with the owner of the hotel i was staying in. and then there was a moment that i didn't see coming. like i literally did not see it. he dove across the table, pushing me back against the seat and was kissing me in this weird wildly sucking way. i managed to push him off. i was in so much shock. denial is my go to coping mechanism and it kicked in. i stood up slowly and picked up my bag and said "i'm going to get ready now" he came towards me to try and kiss me again but i held out my arm to push him away. i went to my room, still totally in shock and started getting ready. i didn't lock the door because i was going to and from the bathroom which was down the hall. the hotel owner popped his head in my door and asked if i was ready. "not yet" i said, looking at myself in my eye shadow mirror. then i was like what? he opened my hotel room?? and i looked towards the door to see him shutting the door behind him and walking towards me with what can only be described as a gleeful look. he was talking to me in a baby voice "you aren't ready yet?" i was more prepared this time. i held out my arms to push him away from me. "no, no." i kept saying. he kissed my arm that i was pushing him away with. i felt like i was in an 80s sit com. i pushed him out of my room. when i came out he appologized, "laura i just got too hot" he explained.
i went on an all day tour of ephesus with two couples. it was amazing but the incident of the morning was on my mind all day. it was so surreal. i tried to tell the other people about it once but i couldn't get the words out. i was embarrassed about it.
this was supposed to be mary the mother of jesus' house that she lived in with john the beloved
people leave tonns of notes and prayers and requests for blessings on napkins and whatever and put it on this wall. there are notes in many different languages.
the stadium at ephesus.
we went to a place where they make carpets. the couple from malaysia were thinking of buying one. i sat with some sage tea, which was literally sage leaves steeped in hot water with sugar cubes and watched.
as the day went on my cold got worse and worse. by the time i got back i was very very tired and feeling very sick. before i could get to bed i endured one more attempt where i was cornered in a room and he was blocking the door so i couldn't leave. i was so exhausted and sick and fighting off his hands and kissing attempts while he talked to me in the creepy voice "i know you don't want it" he cooed to me. i found myself begging him to let me go and it was like i woke up. "laura, what are you doing? shove him--hard" i said to myself. and i did. he kind of tipped and landed again but he let me go. "do you think i'm a bad person?" he asked me. "it was just a joke." he said. when we got to an area with other guests i struggled to look normal. i was ashamed for some reason and didn't want anyone to know what happened to me. thankfully there were other girls in my dorm room that night so i felt safe.
(the next day my travel agent helped rescue me, but that was the next day)
in 2018-- anas and i drove to the tiny seaside villiage of sidi kaoki. i saw the coolest scenes on the drive there, but for some reason i didn't take any pics. i kick myself for that. i saw a lot of people riding donkeys and donkeys pulling carts, in the little country towns we passed. i loved sidi kaoki. it was wild big and beautiful and had a real hippy vibe. i swam in the atlantic.
this guy was gathering muscles for a soup.
those tiny dots are people learning to surf.
we ate supper on the roof of a restaurant as the sun set. i had a fish tajine and a delicious dish called pisto, which esther told me is actually spanish.
in 2019 heather and i woke up an hour or two before dawn and drove up to canyonlands national park in moab. we wanted to make it to the mesa arch for sunrise. the day before we were too late. we slept in our clothes to cut down on time in the morning. we made it. we started down the path the the arch in the dark with a bunch of other photographers. we all found our spots and waited. i was sitting on the ground and behind me was a wall of photographers with tripods. it was kind of surreal. heather waited over in the corner out of the way of the photographer wall. i took about 1000 pics of this arch in various stages of the rising sun.
later we packed up camp and drove into colorado to mesa verde. mesa verde is so weird. it's this mountain with a mesa on top. driving up the mountain everything is ugly and barren. there were still patches of snow. we found out later that because of lightening strikes there have been a multitude of forest fires on mesa verde. our camp site looked just as desolate. we didn't know what to think but we kept driving up to the top of the mesa. that was a whole different world. we finally saw the cliff dwellings that we both separately had wanted to see for many years and we saw them together. it was cool.
ok this day in history has become quite long winded. sorry bout that.
i was going to make the eggplant cheesecake but i realizes that i am missing one thing--zaatar which is a middle eastern spice blend. i couldn't find it at freshco so i'm going to ask if i can borrow a couple of tsp from work. i know we have some because i bought it. i had grilled cheese instead and made microwave lava cakes for dessert. that was our social activity yesterday night so i tried it. it kind of worked. my melted chocolate was at the bottom.
we have really been trying to find ways to involve members in the work of the clubhouse even while we are all separated. one thing we came up with is the mental health week mail out. there is always a mail out during mental health week, which is the first week in may. so we made bundles of stamps, envelopes, labels, posters etc and dropped them off at 6 different member's homes. they put everything together and put the mail in the mail box. i also dropped off some birthday card making kits to our birthday card making team members. i did that yesterday. it was nice to be out and driving around richmond. it's a really beautiful time of year. leaves are out. dogwood trees, and puffball hot pink cherry trees are in bloom. city hall has these terraced shrubberies that are a stunning red with blooms. it was nice to see some members too. we all kept our distance.
i think it was going outside and driving around helped me feel better.
my birthday is in just a few days.
on this day in history:
in 2009 i don't know what i was doing, but i did post these pics of best bud from our epic photo shoot with the yellow sari.
in 2010 i was in utah with sarah and adriel. we drove there. we stayed with john and slavica and with karen. we went to tanis' wedding and we made hilarious posters for alysha's bid for student council. but i don't know exactly what happened on the 23rd.
in 2014 i was somewhere in the middle of the roller coaster of my most tragic relationship. there was a lot of drama and i hadn't even made it to egypt yet.
in 2015 i was recovering.
in 2016--on this day i was in selcuk and got up early to get ready for my tour of ephesus. i had a cold. i was the only one on the roof eating breakfast and the hotel owner sat talking with me as i was eating. there had been weird things. like he jumped up (short guy built like a truck) and kissed me on the cheek when i said i don't eat hard boiled eggs, but he walked away quickly and i thought "did that just happen ?" and "is that normal here?" now as i was eating he started touching my leg. i was uncomfortable but didn't know exactly what to do except eat fast and leave. it's hard to explain but it felt impossible to make a big scene with the owner of the hotel i was staying in. and then there was a moment that i didn't see coming. like i literally did not see it. he dove across the table, pushing me back against the seat and was kissing me in this weird wildly sucking way. i managed to push him off. i was in so much shock. denial is my go to coping mechanism and it kicked in. i stood up slowly and picked up my bag and said "i'm going to get ready now" he came towards me to try and kiss me again but i held out my arm to push him away. i went to my room, still totally in shock and started getting ready. i didn't lock the door because i was going to and from the bathroom which was down the hall. the hotel owner popped his head in my door and asked if i was ready. "not yet" i said, looking at myself in my eye shadow mirror. then i was like what? he opened my hotel room?? and i looked towards the door to see him shutting the door behind him and walking towards me with what can only be described as a gleeful look. he was talking to me in a baby voice "you aren't ready yet?" i was more prepared this time. i held out my arms to push him away from me. "no, no." i kept saying. he kissed my arm that i was pushing him away with. i felt like i was in an 80s sit com. i pushed him out of my room. when i came out he appologized, "laura i just got too hot" he explained.
i went on an all day tour of ephesus with two couples. it was amazing but the incident of the morning was on my mind all day. it was so surreal. i tried to tell the other people about it once but i couldn't get the words out. i was embarrassed about it.
this was supposed to be mary the mother of jesus' house that she lived in with john the beloved
as the day went on my cold got worse and worse. by the time i got back i was very very tired and feeling very sick. before i could get to bed i endured one more attempt where i was cornered in a room and he was blocking the door so i couldn't leave. i was so exhausted and sick and fighting off his hands and kissing attempts while he talked to me in the creepy voice "i know you don't want it" he cooed to me. i found myself begging him to let me go and it was like i woke up. "laura, what are you doing? shove him--hard" i said to myself. and i did. he kind of tipped and landed again but he let me go. "do you think i'm a bad person?" he asked me. "it was just a joke." he said. when we got to an area with other guests i struggled to look normal. i was ashamed for some reason and didn't want anyone to know what happened to me. thankfully there were other girls in my dorm room that night so i felt safe.
(the next day my travel agent helped rescue me, but that was the next day)
in 2018-- anas and i drove to the tiny seaside villiage of sidi kaoki. i saw the coolest scenes on the drive there, but for some reason i didn't take any pics. i kick myself for that. i saw a lot of people riding donkeys and donkeys pulling carts, in the little country towns we passed. i loved sidi kaoki. it was wild big and beautiful and had a real hippy vibe. i swam in the atlantic.
in 2019 heather and i woke up an hour or two before dawn and drove up to canyonlands national park in moab. we wanted to make it to the mesa arch for sunrise. the day before we were too late. we slept in our clothes to cut down on time in the morning. we made it. we started down the path the the arch in the dark with a bunch of other photographers. we all found our spots and waited. i was sitting on the ground and behind me was a wall of photographers with tripods. it was kind of surreal. heather waited over in the corner out of the way of the photographer wall. i took about 1000 pics of this arch in various stages of the rising sun.
ok this day in history has become quite long winded. sorry bout that.
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