in the shower

"this is me!" i suddenly sang out along to the song playing on my phone.  izzy, nibbling on her dry foods whipped a head back and stared at me. i enjoyed the look on her face. the second and third time she paid no notice.  "weirdo." she thought to herself.

i had this thought today while in that rare place for me, the shower, and it was this: do you think that the body holds its past traumas?  i mean obviously there are some markers of the physical traumas we experience.  but not all of them.  i have a scar from that 3rd or 4th grade pumpkin carving accident and layers of burn scars and nicks and scrapes...but some things seem to totally heal.  what about more psychological traumas?  do those things change my brain in such a way that it changes my body?  i was thinking about these kinds of things.  do we grow like trees and envelope our wounds into our hearts that manifest as weaknesses and broken limbs later on?  how exactly does healing take place and what exactly is healing?

 i guess that healing can have many layers and can take place over a long time at a pace that can seem imperceptible until suddenly it is noticeable.  a way of measuring healing is how much pain you feel.  depending on the wounds there may come a time when there is no more pain at all, or it may just fade and dull, or it may be something that ebbs and returns and ebbs and you are never quite sure if you will ever be rid of it. 

what are the kinds of environments that encourage healing? is it possible to be carrying unhealed wounds in your body without realizing it?  if so how do you become aware and how do your reach those hidden parts that need balm, care and tender compassion?  how do you release the frozen bits?  do you think that we can isolate a hurt we are not ready to deal with and freeze it in its spot?  i think that's a legit coping mechanism.   somethings are too much to deal with at the time we are given them.  anyways those are some of my thoughts and wonderings.  i think practicing self tenderness and acceptance is at least a healing thing to do.  it makes us free to give those things to others...i think that's how it can work.

Comments

Jeannie said…
So deep, and so beautiful, I will have to think about this one for a long time, like maybe the rest of my life. The experts on the subject of course our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and they continually try to share as much as they can with us to help us. Trying to encourage and Inspire us that we really can change and forgive and heal. Trying to help us become all that we can become and build and beautify and strengthen all the relationships we can before we gather up ourselves ands step into the next phase of our existence, and really appreciate the glory of it all.