poop adventures
my foot feels weird like i stepped on something and it's stuck on my foot. but there's nothing there. my foot is being ghosted.
yesterday i was lingering at work. just slow to leave, but planning on leaving soon. that's when colin arrived at the office door. "so....question" he said while studeously putting on a pair of latex gloves. "what happened?" i asked. "poop." he answered. i told him bethany would prefer it if you didn't say 'poop'. she prefers 'poo'. after that discussion he told me that they found a couple of poop spots in the elevator. now technically the elevator is not our responsibility to clean. however our consciences wouldn't let us leave poop smears in the elevator overnight. so we donned our latex gloves--colin doubled his, grabbed our ziplock bags and garbage bags and disinfectant wipes and most importantly disposable chopsticks. actually colin's original question had been "is there any spatula in the kitchen that you don't want?" why do people always think of kitchen tools when dealing with bathroom problems?? no there really wasn't a spatula that i wanted to sacrifice for poop blobs in the elevator. so i suggested disposable chopsticks and colin really liked that idea. i was supposed to film him but i hit the wrong button. he didn't have the courage to do that good of a job but we got most of it and he laid the disinfectant wipe on top of it to soak it. sylvana was there too. she held the elevator door open for us.
after that exciting adventure we began discussing who's poop it was. there were several likely candidates but the weird thing was there was no tracks into the elevator. i bet there are tracks going out, i said. and as we were disinfecting all the buttons and handles, i rode the elevator down to the 1st floor to check it out. sure enough there was poop steps on the landing leading out the door. i rode back up to report my findings. aaaand so we armed ourselves again and headed downstairs. colin refused to take the elevator with the half cleaned poop spots. he took the stairs. we had a race and i had to wait for the elevator which had descended to another floor. i was sure he would win. but the weirdest thing was when i got in the elevator the disinfectant wipes we had left there were gone! like someone picked them up with their bare hands??
this time i cleaned the spots and colin was the garbage man. afterwards we sat near reception and chatted a bit with sylvanna. it was a weird day. a "sh*tty day" said sylvanna. quite literally. in the morning we had arrived to the news of a flood on the 3rd floor. a blockage in the pipes from the 4th floor bathroom caused a leak on the 3rd floor. the whole floor was closed and a restoration crew was working on it and a plumbing crew... floors and walls might need to be replaced. fun times
meanwhile it was an ugly hair day. that was the most meaningful to me. on such days i try not to look in the mirror much. it's easier if i forget about it.
anyways it's friday and i better get to work.
yesterday i was lingering at work. just slow to leave, but planning on leaving soon. that's when colin arrived at the office door. "so....question" he said while studeously putting on a pair of latex gloves. "what happened?" i asked. "poop." he answered. i told him bethany would prefer it if you didn't say 'poop'. she prefers 'poo'. after that discussion he told me that they found a couple of poop spots in the elevator. now technically the elevator is not our responsibility to clean. however our consciences wouldn't let us leave poop smears in the elevator overnight. so we donned our latex gloves--colin doubled his, grabbed our ziplock bags and garbage bags and disinfectant wipes and most importantly disposable chopsticks. actually colin's original question had been "is there any spatula in the kitchen that you don't want?" why do people always think of kitchen tools when dealing with bathroom problems?? no there really wasn't a spatula that i wanted to sacrifice for poop blobs in the elevator. so i suggested disposable chopsticks and colin really liked that idea. i was supposed to film him but i hit the wrong button. he didn't have the courage to do that good of a job but we got most of it and he laid the disinfectant wipe on top of it to soak it. sylvana was there too. she held the elevator door open for us.
after that exciting adventure we began discussing who's poop it was. there were several likely candidates but the weird thing was there was no tracks into the elevator. i bet there are tracks going out, i said. and as we were disinfecting all the buttons and handles, i rode the elevator down to the 1st floor to check it out. sure enough there was poop steps on the landing leading out the door. i rode back up to report my findings. aaaand so we armed ourselves again and headed downstairs. colin refused to take the elevator with the half cleaned poop spots. he took the stairs. we had a race and i had to wait for the elevator which had descended to another floor. i was sure he would win. but the weirdest thing was when i got in the elevator the disinfectant wipes we had left there were gone! like someone picked them up with their bare hands??
this time i cleaned the spots and colin was the garbage man. afterwards we sat near reception and chatted a bit with sylvanna. it was a weird day. a "sh*tty day" said sylvanna. quite literally. in the morning we had arrived to the news of a flood on the 3rd floor. a blockage in the pipes from the 4th floor bathroom caused a leak on the 3rd floor. the whole floor was closed and a restoration crew was working on it and a plumbing crew... floors and walls might need to be replaced. fun times
meanwhile it was an ugly hair day. that was the most meaningful to me. on such days i try not to look in the mirror much. it's easier if i forget about it.
anyways it's friday and i better get to work.
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