morning. a new week is beginning already. time. sigh.
right now at the end of all my exhales is a tiny tiny thin squeak. that's my lungs talking. morning lungs.
this morning when my alarm went off at 6 i said to myself "time to get up an win the race, laura". that poem lives on.
the mornings are so still and quiet. every noise can be registered. like the shifting of these keys on my keyboard and izzy trotting around on her dainty pointshoe feet.
i had more dreams. they've all retreated into shadow and left only the name simon beached on the sandy shore of my mind.
one of the super soul conversations was by oprah herself. she talked about how when she was younger she loved to read and she used to read all of maya angelou's works and then as an adult she got to know her and she remembers sitting in her kitchen as maya cooked for her and telling her about the silly things she did in her 20s--all about her regrets. and maya said to her. "that was you in your 20s. now you're in your 30's. when you know better, you do better." and the ops was saying that that idea, that you don't have to be defined by your mistakes or what you have done, but you can leave them behind you, and that knowing better, you can do better, was so freeing a concept to her. and she played excerpts from her show when she had this lady on who had lost her husband and after that started on drugs and once she did that she lost her home and her kids and her job and began selling herself for sex. the lady had been on the streets prostituting for a couple of years, had been raped multiple times, and injured many times, and finally got herself out of that life after having a gun put to her head. she cleaned herself up and got her life back on track...i think had some schooling and a job. but the lady said she never felt clean. she always felt so dirty. she tried to look as clean as possible, put together, and presentable but inside she never felt clean. and oprah was so gentle with her--you could hear the compassion in her voice. she made her say "when you know better, you do better." and oprah said that lady reminded her of herself when she was a young girl. she had experienced sexual abuse and molestation since she was 9 and at 14 she was pregnant and her mom was taking her to this detention home. and she looked around and thought |"this is a place for bad girls. and i'm going to be a bad girl from now on because i've been brought to this place. but inside she didn't feel like she was a bad girl or that she belonged there. and as they were waiting the official came out and said they were too full and her mom would have to take her back. and she was saved from that and went to live with her dad. and she had the baby, and after the baby died, her dad told her she had a new chance at life ... oprah said we've all done things that we are ashamed of, or not proud of. we all have mistakes in our past. i know that's true. i also know that we can't fall farther than the reach of the saving arms of Jesus Christ. he can heal all wounds. he heals mine. redemption is possible, it is real.
right now at the end of all my exhales is a tiny tiny thin squeak. that's my lungs talking. morning lungs.
this morning when my alarm went off at 6 i said to myself "time to get up an win the race, laura". that poem lives on.
the mornings are so still and quiet. every noise can be registered. like the shifting of these keys on my keyboard and izzy trotting around on her dainty pointshoe feet.
i had more dreams. they've all retreated into shadow and left only the name simon beached on the sandy shore of my mind.
one of the super soul conversations was by oprah herself. she talked about how when she was younger she loved to read and she used to read all of maya angelou's works and then as an adult she got to know her and she remembers sitting in her kitchen as maya cooked for her and telling her about the silly things she did in her 20s--all about her regrets. and maya said to her. "that was you in your 20s. now you're in your 30's. when you know better, you do better." and the ops was saying that that idea, that you don't have to be defined by your mistakes or what you have done, but you can leave them behind you, and that knowing better, you can do better, was so freeing a concept to her. and she played excerpts from her show when she had this lady on who had lost her husband and after that started on drugs and once she did that she lost her home and her kids and her job and began selling herself for sex. the lady had been on the streets prostituting for a couple of years, had been raped multiple times, and injured many times, and finally got herself out of that life after having a gun put to her head. she cleaned herself up and got her life back on track...i think had some schooling and a job. but the lady said she never felt clean. she always felt so dirty. she tried to look as clean as possible, put together, and presentable but inside she never felt clean. and oprah was so gentle with her--you could hear the compassion in her voice. she made her say "when you know better, you do better." and oprah said that lady reminded her of herself when she was a young girl. she had experienced sexual abuse and molestation since she was 9 and at 14 she was pregnant and her mom was taking her to this detention home. and she looked around and thought |"this is a place for bad girls. and i'm going to be a bad girl from now on because i've been brought to this place. but inside she didn't feel like she was a bad girl or that she belonged there. and as they were waiting the official came out and said they were too full and her mom would have to take her back. and she was saved from that and went to live with her dad. and she had the baby, and after the baby died, her dad told her she had a new chance at life ... oprah said we've all done things that we are ashamed of, or not proud of. we all have mistakes in our past. i know that's true. i also know that we can't fall farther than the reach of the saving arms of Jesus Christ. he can heal all wounds. he heals mine. redemption is possible, it is real.
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