life

morning.  do you ever feel like you want something but you don't know what it is?  i feel like that.  i think it's what is making me feel restless.  and i decided not to feed that black hole the normal things i feed it.  i have fed it hours of distractions in the past.  i have wandered cloudy paths in search of nothings.  and all i end up with is nothings.  so i thought i'd try something new.  a new life.  every day is a new life and options of new ways to live.  so, what i think is this: i think i have to feel this restlessness.  feel it.  write about it.  think about it.  maybe i will feed it thought and feelings.  i'll try that anyways.  what does this all mean??  ha ha. welcome into my mind.  all i know is that same choices will lead to same results.  so if i want to be different, if i want to have a different life--i must start to make different choices.

 i think of all the people and things i listen to and love, i think it's time to stop ignoring her.  me.  of all people i should listen to, she is worthy of being heard.  i am.  what do i want?  what do i need?  time to listen and learn.  time to eat watermelon in the kitchen, swaying my hips, dancing from leg to leg, swinging my arm above my head...whatever weird movement she wants.  who cares.  give her life. me. give me life.  i'm here.