christmas eve day

it's 12:34 am and like thomas, i oughtta be snoozin.  i have bags n puffs galore under my eyes that agree whole heartedly.   eye circles and bags are my personal kind of elderly eye.

well i made a few notes and then i kept falling asleep and so in the end i did.  now it's the morning of the 27th  and we've had our third and final morning of overnight coconut french toast.  it was the first time i could really taste it. because i lost my senses.  but they are returning.

kyle is lame.  he knows it and i know it.

so anyways, on christmas eve morning sarah and kyle went to walk arlo.  sarah was hoping to get things moving in her bulging bowels.  the boys were listening to music in the living room and when a rockin version of up on the house top came on, i ran in and we all danced our hearts out, even huxley.  when sarah came home it was time to name  our snow flakes and hang them.  adriel and i wrote the names on them, sarah taped the thread with huxley's 'help' and sloan put the top tape on and handed them to kyle who taped them to the ceiling of the living room.  kyle didn't read the names as he hung them, and while it was cool that he hung them, not reading the titles adds to his lameness.  he knows this.

some snow flakes names are as follows:
nards
undulating uvula
a feather in my cap/yankee doodle was a fellah
all i want for christmas is more than 4 hairs
farquad in all his glory/farquadian/farquadish
shwoop-de-woop
ovulation
brown bum
holiday horror
razzband




after that we got ready.  sarah did my hair in two high ponies, which were just 2 curly balls. i did my make up all sparkle and christmassy and wore my green shirt and green christmas ornament earrings.  we both looked quite festive.  our outing was the grocery store and think what you want, that's legit.  legitimacy is getting christmas-i-fied for the grocery store.  i had an ultra organized list with all the things we needed.  before we got the store, sarah jumped out of the car mid traffic and strolled towards some shops like what she just did was a normal every day occurrence.  i didn't ask any questions.  a wise woman does not ask too many questions at christmas time.  take note, by this time, i was both wise and legit.  kyle and i did the shoppin.  kyle is not organized in his shopping habits but i can't expect everyone to be as structurally sound as me in my shopping  organizational skillz, but he is a structural engineer... no judgement. there was no coconut extract. let that go down in history.  sarah caught up with us in time to fetch her own prune juice of the gods and goddesses of regularity.  kyle sweet talked a produce guy who fetched parsley from the truck just for us, and i found some measley sad sad looking pomegranates whose very measliness brings shame to their mother tree.  at the checkout we each guessed how much it would cost, as is our christmas tradition, and this time i was the winner which gives me a real sense of pride and accomplishment.  we determined to see what the other store had in terms of pomegranates and coconut extract.  the parking lot was crazy so kyle let sarah and i out and circled the lot.  we  found some huge juicy pom wonderfuls that were the pride of their mother tree's heart around the same time a friendly grocery clerk told sarah she looked tired in a solicitous way.  her earned her wrath, grumbles and glares.  "you don't look tired" , scoffed a just arrived kyle.  not lame kyle.  not lame.

at the dollar store we found cookie boxes fit for the queen of christmas and sandwich bags shown to us by pearl, or sharlene, or thelma,  or valdene, any of these names fit the wiry little weathered gramma with long white hair.  she could have also worked in a dinner or an 80s fabric store all these places were in her wheel house.

we were driving home when we passed the cafe we tried to go to on the day of the great power outage of 2018.  i was like "kyle why aren't you taking us to the cafe for a golden milk" in an accusatory way he was like "do you want me to turn around?" and sarah was like "you could" and i was like "yeah, it's christmas eve, jeeze." and kyle was like "get out" and we all laughed.

at the cafe kyle got a cider as is his want.  "tell me about your cider" he commanded the girl behind the counter, daring her to impress him.  and she did.  sarah and i got the golden milks, which is steamed milk with tumeric. kyle got the maryann bar and i got a huge round lump of goodness.  the girl explained to me that it was a brownie rolled in glory and drizzled with deliciousness.  sarah had been really jonesing for the maryann bar.  she tried to make it, via kyle at home and wasn't that pleased with it and then when we got it there, they both realized that it wasn't as good as sarah had remembered.  but the brownie lump rolled in glory was divine. we halved everything. golden milks are yuck.  i got mine with almond milk and it was bitter and the dredges at the bottom of the cup made me gag.  but it looked pretty....so....



when we got home kyle started right in on his caramel pretzels dipped in chocolate.  i started prepping the overnight french toast.  i was at the counter and the family was behind me all doing the pretzels.  when i finished that, i shelled the pistachios for my christmas dinner contribution.  i made an ottolenghi salad.  it was roasted cauliflower, pomegranate and pistachios amongst other yummy things.  i gave sarah and kyle two choices. the other one was a roasted brussel sprout pomelo salad that i had made once before, super yummy.  they helped not at all by each choosing one of the choices.  so i went with what was the most simple to make.  ottolenghi is a genius but his genius sometimes is labour intensive.  after shelling a billion pistachios and weighing them, i started slicing sausages for kyle who was now cooking the delectable home made perogies.  huxley was stealing them as fast as i could cut them.

 what happened next?  stay tuned.  i have to go because kyle is out.  he's the one that's out and he is always the one that's out.

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