Sunday, June 18, 2017

lessons in mortality

today was stake conference.  as usual i am in the choir.  this morning we had an early morning practice which was great because there were parts of the song that i hadn't practiced yet.  i wore my new peachy dress with turquoise and teal accents.  it's fake wrap around style and the v cuts low so i've only worn it once since i bought it and that was at sarah's because she had a banditty bandeau of the perfect colour that i borrowed and stretched out and therefore she should have just given it to me, otherwise why go to the trouble of stretching out people's things?  i mean if i go to all that effort and inconvenience then i should be rewarded nes pas? sarah sees things differently.  "oh i'll just wash it and see if it shrinks back" she shrugs.  that's what she says outwardly but behind the words is the message "keep your grubby grubs off my banditty bandeau!".  so anyways i found a lacy tank top of the perfect teal colour so i was free to wear the dress!  i love this dress right now.  and i got ready everything seemed perfect, the lips the eyes, the earrings, the  shoes...those turquoise high heel wedges i got to be an officiant in john and mary's unwedding.  i've only worn them a handful of times since that day 3 years ago, because let's face it, i'm not a heels kind of girl.  i'm a barefoot kind of girl, with curly toes and cracked heels.  that's the real me.  but since barefeet is not socially acceptable in church one must wear shoes.  so anyways today i felt like, yes, it's a special day, i will pop these babies on and i will shine like the star i am.

this is all to say i felt like all that and a bag of chips.  really, i should have taken the warning last night when i was belting out the verses in because i have been given much with all my heart and feeling good about it, when all of the sudden in mid strains of melodic ferver my throat contracted and my tongue jerked back and i started hacking out a lung. this is bad enough when in the congregation but is so much more conspicuous when one is on the stand for all to see.  this always happens when i am feeling too good about myself.  something happens to take me down a notch preeeetty quickly and often severely.  like watch out little icarus the sun is not your play ground.  your feet belong in the clay.  but no, i did not take the warning.  after practice, i waltzed down the stairs from the stand and out the doors.  i walked down the hall like i was walking the runway, all confidence, all breezy "sometimes you got a little finesse, sometimes you got a lot!", all rico suave, all maybe it's maybalene, all "this girl is on fiiiiiiiiiiiiiire, this girl is on fiiiiiiireyeeuuhuhuh", all big strides, and big smiles,  all oh i'll just grab the bulletin on that side table without even stopping, just whisk it up with a little twirly flair, all hello, hi, smile, nod,....and all wobble, tumble splat.  before i knew it my ankle betrayed me and i went down like a sack of potatoes right in front of a very surprised scott cresine.  ahhhh humbled again.  i can't stop laughing about it every time i think of that moment.  scott, who i don't know, was all concern and gentlemanly-ness and helped me up "are you sure you're ok?" "yep, i'm fine i say" out loud but to myself i'm saying "it's jut my pride that got an elbow to the guttocks.".  a goddess walked off the stage, but a mortal walked into the relief society room for extra alto practice trailing clumps of mud behind her.


Beth-a-knee said...

lololol laughed pretty hard. ahhhh.

amyleigh said...

Ahh so relatable! Lol. Oh Labee

Tracy said...

Oh Laura, I love your writing! It is so entertaining. We can laugh now, but bless you in the moment.