love is not selfish...

i used to think i knew a lot about love.  i thought about myself as a loving person.  that's the way i described myself to syster hedberg when i first arrived in the mission field.  but the older i get, or the more life i live, i realize that what i know of love is the proverbial ice burg tip.  who can comprehend the love of God?  i learned a little bit about it through suffering.  just a glimpse of his love is like... like something i can't describe.  but it is peace and wholeness and comfort and being known and healing and indescribable tenderness. it's safety and wonder and light and truth.  and his love is ours to discover every day in many ways.  he's here.  he's everywhere and he runs to us and embraces us when we turn to him.  his messages are everywhere.  it is only for me to have eyes to see, ears to hear.  who can understand the love of Jesus Christ the Savior of the world?  his sacrifice for me can hardly be grasped.  i know i don't deserve it.  but then i have experienced love from someone who loves me so much that they are willing to sacrifice their happiness for mine.  who is giving me a life to live.  it helps me to understand a little bit of what love really is.  i don't want them to suffer.  i want to reach out and stop it.  i know i don't deserve it.  if someone who loves me is giving me such a sacred gift that costs them so much, do i take it and honour it, and live the best i can? there is no other option that doesn't insult the offering.  it is almost unbearable to be loved like that because you don't deserve it.  it's just the greatness and majesty of the one who loves.  and it secures your love  forever. and it makes you want to be a better person more than anything else ever could.