and the days that followed

well birthday week is coming to a close.  it's time to share my adventures, my successes and failures.  total-partial confessional all the way.  let's go.

tuesday:

tuesday i had a leisurely morning.  the truth is, i didn't know what i wanted to do, and what adventure to have. i did some cleaning, which was therapeutic in it's own way.  lindsay, and i got pedicures.  i decided to do something different and chose a kind of sky blue.  and i got a pretty design on the big toe that has white and sliver.  it looks good with the blue.  after that i came home and put up a few pictures.  then i decided to go on a photo adventure to wreck beach.  i knew it was still too cold for nudists, and i hadn't been there yet this year.  so i jumped in stella midnight and drove up to ubc.  i found a good parking spot and joined the throngs of students making their way down the stairs.  i didn't think it was going to be so busy, just at sunset on a tuesday night, but i forgot that it was probably end of exam time.   

part of me felt like all the kids thought i was weird for being there.  but i told that part of me to be quiet, and pretended that i just didn't care.  which i don't really.

there's a lot of stairs.  that's one thing you think to yourself when you're going down.  like woah, i'm going to have to pay for this later.  also you see signs about clothing being optional... 

 and it makes you  little nervous.  if i see one naked person i'll just turn around and go back up the stairs i vowed to myself.

but when i emerged from the other side of this tree tunnel, i found myself on a beach with plenty a clothed student, much to my relief.  i took off my shoes and put my hoodie on a log and walked up the shore and began to shoot.

the sky was amazing and over towards vancouver island you could see by the ways the clouds were touching the ocean that it was raining.  this is when my camera did its new favourite trick--not storing pics.  it was aggravating.  there was so much i wanted to try and to record and  all my camera would say is "this picture was not stored". i tried many things. nothing could convince my camera to store a photo.  the cruel thing is that it would show me for a split second, the cool shot i had just taken and then say "this picture was not stored"  or "this picture cannot be shown"  arrrrrg.  i wanted to throw it into the sea.  instead i took some pics of some students near by who asked me to.  i made them jump.  i mean the scenery practically demanded it.  

i walked down the beach a bit to this quieter place and found this nice log with a shell on it.  i sulked for a minute and then decided to take pics with my phone, if that's all i had to use.  i mean i was on a birthday adventure and you have to live to the fullest moment.

the shell

 i thought the wave of the weathered log and the light glinting off of it looked cool.

 sun said good night.

beach fires were starting up everywhere.  i knew it was probably party time, so i took a few clicks and then faced the stairs.  (you can kind of see the rain in the far away clouds in this shot)

i took the stairs slowly.  slow and steady, taking a break now and again to let some youthful sprites pass me and let my heart beat slow to a steady gallop.  i counted the stairs as i went.  when i got close to the top i was surprised that i was there so fast.  and although a little out of breath and heart beat pumping, i didn't feel totally knackered.  proud of myself.  there were 479 steps according to my calculations.

i sat in stella midnight and tried my camera again.  "this picture cannot be stored"  too bad, because i brought my tripod for some night photography and everything.  but it was not meant to be. so i drove home and it was on the drive that i had just a little bit of an asthma attack.  wheezing and curdling breaths, hurting chest and hurting coughs.  but by the time i got back down to sea level in richmond and had a drink (more oxygen) i was doing pretty good.  weird how my lungs were fine on the stairs but afterwards in the car they were like, ack! save me!

wednesday:

the next morning i spent the time in bed researching camera options.  that made me feel poor.  then the twins and sarah showed up and made me play poor pussy with them.  just kidding they didn't.  i had banana and peanut butter for breakfast and i had some juicy mango.  i totally tried that fb mango trick an it works.  don't know what it is? i'll never tell.  spent more time looking at cameras and reading reviews.  

had lunch...  ok this week i perfected this amazing sandwich.  i called it salty smokey sweet spicey.  some baba, some crispy prosciutto (hello, that is the best ever), some thin lady alice apple slices, some smokey cheddar cheese, some red pepper jelly, a smear of soft ripened in ash mission goat cheese, and some cranberry dijon.  bam.  eat me.  i bought two of those baguettes and made it last 4 days.  meanwhile i ate some carrots or radishes or turnip dipped in moroccan style hummus.  it was perfect and perfectly satisfying.

 then i cleaned the bathroom.  i decided to get down on my hands and knees and i thought about how it had probably been a year and a day or two since mr. b had made me deep clean the same bathroom.  then i made myself stop thinking about it, got ready, braided my hair, put my camera, broken case and all, inside my cloth cooler bag (it had managed to take a pic of the above glorious sandwich, so you never know, it might work again), got my bike and headed out to stella m.  it was a lovely spring afternoon.  an old man was working in his yard by where stella was parked.  as i opened my hatch back he asked me if i needed help, nodding towards my bike.  i accepted and with his help it seemed to go very smoothly. i had to flatten one seat and that was that.

so i drove to stanley park and went to the aquarium.  because i was so dawdly i didn't get there until 3:30 and it closes at 5.  the first thing i saw was the dolphin show.  white sided dolphins.  they were so cute and just so amazing.  i wanted to cry.  a little bit.  sniff at the vancouver aquarium if you want but they are the only aquarium who since the nineties has refused to take any whale or dolphin that was captured in the wild unless that animal needed rehabilitation.  they even released a dolphin into the wild successfully.  they are totally conservationists and i don't think they exploit their animals at all.  the two white sided dolphins they have, hannah and helen? were rescued from fishing nets.  one them has smaller fins because parts had to be amputated.  anyways if you want to read more about the aquarium, you can here.

after that i spent a lot of time in the bc coast section.  it's amazing what is in our waters.  i loved spending a lot of time at each tank. the more you look the more you can see.

ok.  i just love watching jellies.  they are so beautiful and amazing and flowy, and odd and kind of mesmarizing. so i unashamedly present the many phone clicks of the jellies.

i don't know if this video is going to work, but these tiny little clear jellies were nifty!

 this white fluffy cloud like thing is a kind of anemone called plumose.  i thought it created a very dr. zuess landscape.

 strawberry anemones.  cool hey.  there were some cute tiny fish hiding in there.

shrimpies being shrimpy

 more jellies.

this octopus was amazing.  i could have watched it all day too. jellies and octi, those are my faves.  maybe because they are both so flowy, i don't know.  right here he is giving me a knowing look.  saying he digs me too.  let's run away together octo! <3 p="">

after the treasures of the bc coast i watched a 4d show about sea monsters, aka dinosaurs.  we got to know a dolly with a shark tooth in her fin.  she was discovered in kansas, i think? anways that was pretty cool.  then i had just a little time to whiz through some tropics and see an actually beautiful shark and a giant green tortoise and some rays and some other things before we got kicked out.  i never got to see the beluga show, or the sea lions or the penguins.  next time, because i would totally go back, as you can see from my very pleased face below.  one must be allowed the luxury of a giddy selfie after experiencing some of the joys of God's creations up close.

 on the way to my car i saw a dogwood tree so i photographed it.

i forgot to mention that as i was driving into downtown i was driving away from blue skies and sun and into ominous charcoal skies.  and such were things when i got outside the aquarium. i even felt a pitter or patter while i was at the fountain taking giddy selfies.    but no matter.  my plan was to ride my bike around the sea wall.  and i was going to make it happen. so i drove to the beginning of the seawall, parked and then tried very hard to pay for parking.  which was frustrating because the pay things weren't working.  and while i was trying to pay a bottle collector guy would ride up on his rusty bike and go through the garbage right beside me, and then i would go to a new one and who would arrive but this guy.  dancing queen was on his radio.  but that's just an aside.  in the end i had to call a number and pay by phone.  then i strapped my cooler bag with camera bag inside and phone and keys etc onto my bike, got on my bike whom i decided was named greta green granny smith (apple) and began my adventure.  

the first time i stopped it was for this handsome guy. he was chillin in the waters and then this canadian goose got on this rock and proceeded to squawk and squawk and squawk.  it was ruinin' his chill. my camera worked....sometimes.  it took a lot of patience, let me tell you.

 there was this guy and his girl there and we did this total dance to keep out of each other's photos and take our own photos, but i wanted them in this shot.  they were nice.  nice to each other and nice to me.

 but the guy jumped down on the beach to take a shot of his girl and it made my buddy blue heron noivous, so he took a stroll...

 until he came to hang out with his squawky pal the goose on one foot.

it began to rain and i got on my bike and rode for a while longer.  in fact i rode along side a cruise ship that was leaving vancouver harbour and heading out up to alaska. it really seemed like it was higher than the bridge so i waited breathlessly to see if there was going to be some kind of majour catastrophe, but it cleared the bridge no prawb.  

let's get silly.

 fave bridge.  still in one piece.  phew.

a while after the bridge i stayed in this spot taking a lot of clicks.  you can't totally tell it in this pic, but the sky was amazing.

 hi. my eyes are very different one from another, but i'm having fun on my bike with my camera anyways.  i remember breathing in the sweetest smell and enjoying it so much and wondering what it was and then i looked beside me and saw the long grass had been cut.  grass can smell soooo good!

 wait what?

 oh, over there!

 this little darky is to show off the amazing sky.  which was gorge.  can you see the cruise ship in the distance?

 runners, cyclists and walkers passed me.  i like this shot because of the sky and because of the bounce in this lady's hair.

 i was pleased to capture this instructional moment between this father and daughter? in the puddle as well.  "see over there?"  "that's west vancouver.  let me point out the ambleside walk with my umbrella", he might have been saying.  or "note the different patterns on the water.  these reflect the very strong currents that flow through here my dear".  or "look how neat my ubrella is! i can hold it exactly parallel with the horizon.  your old man's no slouch, hun"

somewhere around 3rd beach i decided i needed to climb up this slope and take this pic through the flowers.  it had to be done and i had to be the one who did it.

with all my photo stops it took me almost exactly two hours to ride around and back to the car.  then it was not as easy as the old man made it seem putting greta green granny smith (apple).  i stopped at my donair place and got a donair for my dinner.  then i think i fell asleep pretty fast.

thursday:

there are no pics for this day.  i bet you are pretty bummed about that.  thursday was pay day and i needed some clothings pretty desperately.  and i had a coupon for 40% off for the month of april.  and it was the last day of april.  so i did some shopping.  first in the white rock part of surrey and then on through the border to bellis fair.  just so happened that macy's was having a 25% off sale and a clearance sale.  i made some good purchases, i hope.  but on the way home i felt like i spent too much money, you know that feeling?  but everything was pretty neccessary,  and it's not like a spent all my money for the month or anything.  so i told myself to chill.

oh, i cut my toe.  i opened a door right into my toe and cut it.  it started to bleed but i was trying to be careful as i tried on different capris.  but this one pair seemed to go out of their way to dip in between the two toes in question.  at first i was scared to say anything.  i didn't want to have to spend 45 dollars on a pair of capris that i didn't even like or want.  but i went to the washroom and in there i was like, i have to tell them.  you do the right thing and you have faith everything will be all right. so when i came out i told the girl to check and see if i got any blood on it.  she said she didn't see any, so i pointed it out.  she didn't make a big deal about it.  she just said she would take care of it and she gave me a band-aid for my toe.

friday i spent the morning working on photos, and looking up fun and exciting things to do.  i came up with some good ones.  i was going to go to the night market at the shipyards, or go the free women's choir even at the ryerson church... or go to a documentary film from the doxa film festival... or go see yo yo ma at the orpheum.  but you know it was may 1st.  and a year from the day i left for egypt.  and that's all it took.  i wanted to stay home.  have a quiet day.  i told myself it was alright to do that.  i discovered caroline shaw.  contempory classic...wuuuut.  by and by blew my mind.  it's so beautiful.  i listened to it and some of her other works all day.  i texted the bishop at his home number (embarrassing) about it.  i went out onto my porch and sat in the sun spots.  archie came too.  izzy sniffed at the door.  i looked at some of the photos from last may.  i wondered about things.  i felt lonely.

here's my toes peeking out from the fence on my porch.

and today i felt totally unable to get up and go outside.  i lost my momentum i guess.  just stayed in feeling melancholy and wishing i could just go out and have an adventure.  i had to go out at nine to get cat food, but i came back and got into bed.  i didn't really get up until 1 or 2ish.  this is in the failure section.  but you know, that's life.  like elder renlund says, just keeping trying.  i made myself a breakfast sandwich with omelette, prociutto, smokey cheese, and dijon.  needs some tweeking.  there was too much egg and prociutto taste and not enough of other.  then i brought my laptop outside and sat on the porch in the sun and ate it.  and laid my head on the wood and smelled it and felt the breeze and the sun on my feet and the sounds of my neighbours in the garden.  i tried to work on pics but all i could see was myself in the screen.  so i shut the lap top and did some truth pics.

the angle accentuates my arm chub, but no matter.  it is what it is.  then i came inside to write, and it does make me feel a little bit better.  i think it's time to go back to work.  too much time alone makes me like that girl.  i need a purpose in my life.