march events

i woke up this morning somewhere in the 6am to 6:30am range and i blearily asked myself, self what are you doing awake so early on a day off?  self didn't answer me but body gave me some hints that escalated into clarity as i stumbled from bathroom to bed in an all too familiar worn out loop pioneered after my month of sickness following egypt.  i'd like to thank my body in an insincere sarcastic way for waiting for a 4 day weekend to spring this illness on me, but i can't be too bitter about it.  i didn't have big plans anyways.

i can't believe march is already over.  i can't help but think of last march, and what i was in the midst of then. impatiently counting down the days until my trip. the loss and return that played out over and over for most of the year from that point. i can't help but finger my wounds and feel the differences in myself.  i know i'm supposed to point my face forward and commence living.  and i'm trying to.  but i feel the drag of the past year clinging to me still.  i keep discovering fresh ways that i am not ok.  and it distresses me.  because i want to be ok again.  i don't want to describe all the levels of dysfunction that i can see in myself.  because it is so depressing.  this whole paragraph is depressing and i regret writing it but i'll keep it because it's true.

a while ago i obsessively watched all the episodes of 'call the midwife' that could be seen on netflix.  i found many emotional episodes good outlets for grief.  i think it was one episode when a character said something like 'keep living until you feel alive again.'  and i thought it was good advice.  i try to remember it.  

get cozy because i'm about to tell some....

march events:

1. tofino with martha--martha and i went to visit amy in the middle of march.  my little beater puddle duck car was not a good choice for a road trip so i traded cars with mom and dad.  we made the trade in the costco parking lot but first mom did some shopping and dad did some eating/socializing at the consession.  martha and i accompanied mom.  mom at first wandered haphazardly about wielding the oversized cart oblivious to the crowd around her.  she was loathe to release it into my posession, believing i would take off with it leaving her behind loaded down with the things she wanted to put into the cart.  this makes me laugh a little.  where does she get these fears about me?  i think i pretty dutifully stayed at her side, anyways.  martha and i found some yummy looking coconut cookie/chips that we bought in anticipation of road trip snack attacks.  and somehow they got left with mom and dad.  accident? you decide. :)  after doing our due diligence, ie. complete round of the store we met dad in concession and had some food of our own.  i bought mom's to pay her back for the cookies and martha bought part of mine to pay me for the part of the cookies that was hers. for some reason i enjoy how we did that.  and so we made the trade in the parking lot, gave each other last minute instructions on car eccentricities and parted ways.

that night i discovered martha's snores have become formidable.  i tried to record them but it wasn't very successful.  martha hung out at my place while i went to work. we had a breakfast fundraiser and the roeders and evelyn came.  that afternoon after work martha demystified her perfect garment folding technique.  then we went to catch the ferry where we had ferry food.  i had chicken strips and martha had a bc burger. then we tried to continue watching bleak house (we started the night before) but it was too distracting for martha to concentrate i think.  

once in our hometown of nanaimo, we stopped for gas and martha bought hawkins cheesies of which i willingly and eagerly partook.

once in alberni we stopped at the walmart to look for earplugs but the earplug section was closed...? weiwd i know.  

some windy roads and mountain passes later we made it into tofino. i thought i remembered where to go, but i took 3rd street instead of 1st street and i ended up at a school and not at amy's tonquin apartments.  so i called her.  it was at around 10:30 at night.  some sort of succubus was going on at amy's place and what ensued was a frustrating conversation where no matter how we tried we could not come to an understanding on what to do.  in the meantime shawn came and found us in his truck and we followed him home.

that's when we met the ruckus.  their newfie neighbour who was quite drunk and telling his story of being stuck on a mountain with a 21 year old over and over.  the way he was tucked in on the couch i thought he was sleeping over.  :)  but he eventually left us but not before bestowing some hefty hugs.

i was given shawn's mechanic's earplugs to wear.  the were orange and on a earplug headband.  i only needed them the first night because after that i got used to the snores.  and luckily too because my ear canals were too small and it gave me a headache the second night so i took it off.  

next morning we lounged and lazed about watching surfing movies until we finally got ourselves together and went out for breakfast at the wildside grill.  luckily breakfast was still on because it was almost lunch when we got there.  meh.  we were on vacay. it was raining hard.  it rained hard and soft all day.  when one is in tofino, one cannot be stymied by stu, or stew, or rain forest rain storms.

martha got a clam chowder and an orange juice.  amy was a little too excited about the yummy she was sharing with shawn.

we ate under this covered area outside, on picnic benches.  this sign intrigued me.

 as did these cool hoodies...

 martha said this was michelle's husband.  when i texted michelle this pic/info on fb she seemed to dig the idea.  so...here he is.  one day he'll be part of our family.

this was my breakfast sandwich.  delish much?

before we left i took this click of the westside grill through the rain drenched windshield. and that's how it really was.

we went back and lazed a bit more until i determined to leave and go to the beach.  amy and martha came too. we went to tonquin the beach right by amy's pad.  there was a new path there that i hadn't taken before.  i jumped off a log to get to the beach and hurt something behind my knee.  it still isn't right.  it's things like this that make me feel middle aged.  anyway i took off my shoes and we wandered the beach taking pics and exploring.  here are a few phone pics. 

this video makes me laugh every time.

and a few legit pics...

 i was trying to capture the droplets like jewels in her hair.

we decided to make a yummy meal, so we stopped at trilogy, amy's old fish place.  the guy there dug her.  we bought some prawns and the most expensive but most fabulous smoked candied salmon.  then we concocted one of our collaborative wonders.  garlicy prawns, a rose sauce with the salmon, pasta and the most yummy salad ever.  while we bustled in the kitchen martha cleaned the bathroom of her own volition!  i still dream of that salmon...

 did we watch a movie that night? probably.

next morning we had breakfast at tuff beans.  i got a hot chocolate and something else which i don't remember...

surfing movies were ever present.

then amy and shawn took us to a beautiful place--botanical gardens. and we did a little photo shoot.  at times shawn had a bit of the man photo doob affliction, but we got some good ones despite his rebellions. naughty boy.  here's one of the hot little numbers.  those wood sculptures are called 'the couple'.  we thought it was appropriate.

then martha was weak with hunger so we stopped at beaches and picked ourselves some snacks.  i got a muffin that amy's bakery provides.  blueberry white chocolate something or other.  then we took a short walk at chesterman beach and we saw sarah mclachlan's house and heard the story of her naked sun bathing lesbian grounds keeper with a grey mullet from shawn who mowed her lawn once upon a time.

surfing movies...

amy and i went back to the beach for 'sunset' but more like twilight.  amy said i was the only one to get her out to the beach in cold weather.  i take pride in this.

so i pushed it and made her sit on the wet sand.

shawn bought us the most delicious pizza for supper.  and we watched big hero 6.  it was so funny.  i loved it.

next morning when we woke up amy was gone.  she ran away from home.  awkward.

i had a shower, we packed up, i left my blow dryer in the bathroom, shawn helped us to the car with our bags, and we drove to amy's bakery to say good bye.  it was the first day with no rain. :) that's the way it is with the fickle mistress of the west coast.

 here she is looking so cute, just having et a duck.

she gave us two muffins soft and warm still and a giant cookie.  we et them like she et the duck.

we got back to nanaimo too early for the ferry, so we stopped at my favourite place, piper's lagoon.  i gathered smooth pebbles and martha waded in the water.

please note the light house in the distance that i have conquered on many a swim. ok 3 or 4 times.

when we got home mom and dad wanted to go the movies so we went to cinderella which was good, and then we were all hungry so we went to wendy's and then i went home.....

march events to be continued.  i'm pooped.....literally.