Friday, December 13, 2013
in which bethany frames me.
i had a dream that i was out with sarah and bethany doing this strange combination of kayaking and surfing. we were going through these beautiful islands on the coast. then bethany wasn't really bethany anymore. she was this teenager. we had stopped by this island and we decided to start going again and go home and see mom and dad. sarah started first and then me. after i had paddled a little ways the girl who had once been bethany screamed and started crying. i turned back in alarm and said "what's wrong?" she didn't answer me, but answered sarah who came up beside me "laura flippered me in the face!" i was all, "i did? i didn't feel anything." and thought to myself, if i did, why did it take her so long to scream? the once bethany girl went on to shore ahead of sarah and i. when we got there she was laying dramatically in the sand and asked sarah to help her. they seemed concerned that she might have a concussion. it was like i had become invisible. i searched the girl's face. one side did look a little purplish blue. what if i had kicked her in the face and not known it? i stayed in the water when they left. then the dream transitioned into duck diving under big waves. i was diving under all these huge waves. i could hear other people catching the waves and people cheering for them. i could feel the waves rolling over top of me and pulling me, but i was still submerged. one wave curled around me like a tube. i knew it was going to take me with it. it brought me all the way to shore and i just lay there on the beach, still with my head towards the sea, and let the crashing waves pull on me. i wanted to be dragged out to sea again. as one wave surged over me, a kindly old man crouched over me smiling. he made two marks in the sand, one by my eyes and one by my wrist moving up towards my eyes. "the next one will be here, and move you this way." he predicted. i hoped he was right. another one came and it did move me a little bit but only up to my eyes, not my wrist. another younger man came and corrected the old man's prediction explaining something i couldn't really understand, but also very friendly and kind. then the waves came but they weren't like waves they were like floods. i began to hold my breath--and that is why i woke up.