has its perks

now that i have two comments, i feel free to move on. do you ever feel that way?  i'm weiwd, i know.  i know it only too well.  i know a lot of other things about myself too.  things i'd rather not know.

do you ever have a day when you've used your butt and hamstrings--worked 'em out, and then felt extreme muscle satisfaction in the sitting position?  it's hard to explain, but i'm feeling it now.

i'm getting stressed out at work. the other day i had a bit of a tantrum concerning the christmas party food.  even with two industrial ovens, it's impossible for me to do 130 stuffed chicken breasts, and roasted potatoes for the same amount of people and do it well.  so i had a tantrum about it and we're having mashed potatoes.  i went down stairs and felt victorious but also felt like i wanted to cry a little bit.  so i found myself back upstairs apologizing to theresa and non-apologizing to una...  i didn't feel right when i saw una today, so later i found myself up at her desk writing a love note/apology.  then i felt right.

you know, sometimes when i'm mad or upset or hurt by someone, i can't look at them.  i may act pleasant enough with them, because i'm trying to get over it, but i don't look at them the right way.  i don't ever want someone i love not to be able to look at me, you know?

anyways, i just have to get through next week and then i am on vacation for a week.  work two full to the brim days where i might have to simultaneously do early morning turkey roasting, potato mashing, stuffing-stuffing... and early morning employment sites and then i'm off until after new years.  i can make it.  i can do it.  i don't have to blow up at people.  i can be kind. i can be patient.  i can disagree respectfully.  i can chose to love.  i can forgive myself when i fail at the above and try again.

yep.

yes.

uh hu.

last night for work we went skating at robson square.  well some skated, and some sat and watched.  still others bent over in half, pushing a blue sliding walker in front of them while gliding their skates along the ice. guess which group i was in.  before skating i handed out our dinner.  turkey pot pies, a  multi-grain ciabatta bun with some shmears of goat cheese, and pesto inside, a juice box, and a mandrin.  after skating we had hot chocolate, which might have induced some headbanging and air guitar on my part, in conjunction with christmas songs.  after the hot chocolate we ran up the art gallery stairs and did some rocky balboa moves while nana na-ing.  well some did that, and other's just walked up them.  guess what group i was in.  it was so cold that i was forced to practice my side kicks while waiting for some slower pokes to catch up to us at the lights.

inexplicably and without our foreknowledge, the dining room at work has been subject to a decorating coup d'etat.  the clerical unit is decorating it and we have no part or no say.  b-b-b-but... it's in our unit!  don't matter none, son.  so lisa and i staged a silent rebelion by decorating inside the kitchen as tackily as possible.  my personal achievement of glory is the the tinsel outline of a tree with real ornaments hooked, or tacked on.  love it.  our office looks like a dorm room decorated.

if i wait too long between words typed my eyes roll back in my head and my head, speaking of my head, my head bobs back towards the couch.  i think my body is trying to tell me something but i'm not ready to hear it.

on monday i got a tree.  mom and dad came over and we had some curry and rice and then we drove out to save-on and picked up a pretty little tree for me.  i have named her juenne fil.  no i haven't.  i have named her kawaii.  this is a lie.  ok i haven't named her but i will right now.  her name is les shwab.  no!  it's juenne fil.  it is. that is what it is.

i'm getting delirious i don't know if you can tell...

anyways dad drilled holes in juenne fil for me, so she will drink her water.  incidentally izzy delights in lapping up juenne fil's l'eau. she digs pine water.  that's so her.

mom fumfered it into perfection.  she expecially worked hard on the ribbon. at first we had troubles but we consulted sarah who gave mom these go to words: billow and flow.  mom repeated them to herself as she fiddled with the ribbon.  meanwhle dad watched mormon messages nd snoozed on the couch.

today i gave the spiritual thought for the relief society christmas activity.  this meant i actually attended a rs function.  bravo to me.  i was going to show a mormon message in conjunction with a scripture and some thoughts of mine on that scripture but no one seemed to know anything about a projector, where it was, how to use it, that i just gave up on the mormon message and went old school.  standing up and talking.  i was going to get up and say "for my spiritual thought, i am asking krystal to give the spiritual thought" but she wasn't there, so i had to do it myself.

afterwards we did some christams craft.  esther and i were super dedicated to getting our blocks done.  it's what we are about.

esther and i put krystal's hair in a bow bun.  it went to one side and looked cute.

there's more but i can't keep my fingers on the keys anymore without falling into a deep sleep.  hibernation has its perks, i bet.