today is such a beautiful day.  i haven't taken much time lately to appreciate beautiful days.  clear icy blue sky, watery yellow sunshine and crisp air that bites my finger tips and nose, i'm thankful for days like these.  they are days of respite from the drearydrabwet life we live in most of january.  this time of the year i'm grateful for a day when my jeans aren't wet from the hem up to my knees, let a lone a day you can actually see the glorious mountains that surround us.  i am also loving the lingering light.  i know longer days are on their way and i am ready.

something wonderful has happened--the first pay day since december 15th.  i made it.  i survived with not a square of toilet paper to spare.  poor karey stayed with me on the very last days of my abject poverty.  i had not popcorn nor rice even to offer her.  but there are always pancakes.  monday i worked the pm social outing shift, so karey and i used our last measly dollars to go out for breakfast.  going out for breakfast is something me and my bestie like to do.  we went to ricky's which is pretty close to my house.

when we went out to my car it was covered in ice.  not thick frost, but ice.  it came off in sheets as i applied the scraper to it.  weiwd, i thought.  ricky's was mostly empty with the exception of an older asian lady with a ear level bob with curled bangs, and a coffee pot in hand.  she seated us in a 'warm booth' by the window. soon we saw, out of said window, that it had begun to snow.  the snow made our waitress quite talkative.  she kept telling us about how she lived in the highest part of vancouver and how she called her husband to ask him about the snow there and so on and so forth.  eventually she told us a sad story about how she would always have her husband send money and gifts to his parents on special occasions, but how they would send back presents only to her husband and their grandkids, which hurt her very much.  finally one day she opened one, when her husband's aunty was there and she burst out crying because there were the 3 gifts all labeled for her husband and each of the kids, but nothing for her.  the aunty asked what was wrong and she told her all about it.  well the aunty then told her sister to smarten up and from then on, there were always 4 gifts.  she still got upset talking about it, even after all these years.  she was cute.

it must be recorded that karey ordered a chorizo egg scrambler and i ordered a  breakfast club which consisted of scrambled egg, swiss and ham on a toasted sourdough bread (i'm a sucker for these types of sandwiches) AND stuffed hashbrowns.  what are stuffed hashbrowns??  i will tell you.  they are crispy shredded hashbrowns with crispy bacon, green onion and sour cream.  a delight and a delish, let me tell you.

while we were at ricky's we saw a fireman because he parked his rig right by our window.  UNfortunately he wasn't hawt.

speaking of hawt firemen, lisa called me from home yesterday to relay the terrible news that the hawt fireman on chicago fire was, unspeakable horror, dating lady gaga.  it was a bitter pill for her to swallow.  rasha had a dream that lady  gaga ate her face or something once.  just saying.  all i really know lady G from is from when she has guessed judged on so you think you can dance.  and i thought she was actually a good judge and mentor from what i can recall.

and guess what.  i did it.  i took all the posts from 2012 in my blog and i made a book!  i got it on the very day that karey and i went to ricky's for breakfast.  it's so beautiful, i love it.  i love especially seeing all my photos they look good in book form, if i say so myself.  i can't wait to get the other years published.

i brought the book to work to show peeps and i've been reading it too, to see if there is anything i wouldn't want to share at work, just in case, and reading it has re-motivated me to write more often.  it's so nice to have.  to have and to hold, for better and for worse...

so i applied for a maternity leave manager's position at work.  my friend lisa is having a baby.  she's the manager of the clerical unit. tomorrow is my interview and i'm noivous.  i'm noivous because i don't know what the interview will be like or what they will ask me, and i want to feel more prepared.  i'm noivous because my friend theresa also applied for the position and i don't want there to be weiwdness.  i'm noivous because i know if i get the job it will cause some stress for lisa my boss and friend.  she'll have to hire someone else for while i'm gone and i know she is trying to be supportive but also is probably not excited for the prospect of me being gone.  i'm noivous because i might not get the job and that might be uncomfortable.  i'm noivous because i might get the job and what if i don't like it or miss the kitchen too much because i love the kitchen--it's my home, and what about suddenly being a manager over people who are my friends, and what about even knowing what to do in that unit and being able to do a good job???

on the other hand i think it's time i got out of my comfort zone and tried something new and had some growth.  and i can learn and use my strengths and do my best.  and it's only for a year.  and maybe theresa will get it.  in which case i wish her well.

do you ever feel like you temporarily lose yourself and then find yourself again?  i feel like that sometimes.  there was a part of me that was quite lost last year.  i am finding me again and i am liking what i find.  i missed you, self.