Monday, December 31, 2012

but grandmother, what big teeth you have!

i love stake choir.  the altos rock the stake choir.  like we are there en masse.  in a couple of weeks we're having stake conference and our stake president is getting released.  we're singing his faves.  sister ashton noted that we were to sing i know that my redeemer lives, peacefully, as per the italicized instructions.  however she seemed puzzled about the instruction for i need thee every hour.  the word was fervently. after some puzzling until puzzlers were sore, i piped up and said it was like a reverent passion.  then a heavenly light shone down on me and all were amazed.

yesterday i watched movies while patching my jeans.  i long for a day when jeans last longer than a month and a half before i need to patch the cratch.  the injustice of patching a newish pair of 70.00 or more dollar jeans is not lost on me.  the alternative is to live in a perpetual state of sweats and i'm just not there yet.

yesterday i felt like watching action adventure movies for once.  i watched tourist, with angelina and johnny.  i greatly disliked johnny's hair.  why did it have to be so?  i also watched war of the worlds.  i felt the ending was very anti-climactic.  it does not seem to progress to the ending properly.  just saying.  and i rounded out the evening with a cute cary grant movie because i like cary grant movies. cary grant has a very specific way of talking and because i've seen a number of his movies lately, i have his speech pattern lodged in my consciousness.

today i was a little bit late when i was making my way down slippery and frosty steps, rounding the corner to the driveway and out to the duck on the street.  there sat my duck, white and little and completely encased in ice.  my key wouldn't even go into the lock.  bah, i'm walking i said to myself, and i began.  a walk to church isn't that far, but in those shoes it seemed like forever.

i waltzed up to my 4th row pew near the end of sister gurney's talk.  the second talk.  oi.  today was the last sunday of the year.  today i lost 3 teachers and gained 3 teachers.  today we took down all of last year's (and the year before, goodbye reading worm!) stuff and put up new stuff.  today we decided who would teach what class and found out who would be our new sunbeams.

i had home made pot stickers for lunch again.  and after choir, a small bowl of popcorn.  pff small bowl.  who has small bowls of popcorn and calls themselves a daughter of jean elizabeth?  i won't make a habit of it, i promise.  and i will continue to have ice cream in big bowls and call dessert bowls sacrament cups, in honour of my father.  i promise.

a couple of days ago a guy texted me that i gave him the impression that i was a racial bigot and intolerant of other religions.  we've never met and he obviously doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does.  i should be forgiving of his unjust judgement of me.  but it hurt.  i don't know of many worse things that could be thought of me.  and so opposite of what is in my heart.  how does one defend oneself against those kinds of accusations.  denials and put up proofs just don't sound right.

 i was angry.  i knew he said it because he was trying to win an argument. the argument was this--i should look for love outside my faith because i won't ever marry inside of it.  ugh.  i'm surprised at how much pressure i feel on this issue, lately, even with no outside man to even date!  the arguments are so lame!  too lame to text about but excuse me for blogging about it.

1. because i won't date or marry outside of my religion i am a racist and intolerant of other religions.  first of all my religion includes the races of the world, so try again.  second of all tolerance of other religions to me, means respecting other people and their beliefs, and allowing them to believe and worship as they will.  did i thank him for his especial tolerance of my beliefs?  yes i did.  it's not intolerant to want a marriage where we believe the same things, have similar goals and ideas about our family and our lives, a marriage where i can be safe to be who i am. and who i am has a very real spiritual side.  a marriage without the shared spirituality would be very lonely to me.  there is so much more, but this is enough. it's not putting down other religions to want to marry inside of my own.  it's wise.   to me he was hiding behind the word tolerance and meaning something totally different.  if we are talking about argument fallacies, he resorted to an attack ad hominem. attack the person. not nice.

2. he said "you won't ever marry inside your religion."--first of all how wonderful that he seems to know all about my future.  like my own personal doomsday prophet.  this tactic, i call play up on your opponent's fears and destroy any hope.  also not nice.

maybe i'll never marry.  it's happened to better people than i.  but as lonely as that kind of life can be, it doesn't mean giving up on my hopes and dreams will make me happy either.  i never met anyone who said i gave up on my hopes and dreams because they weren't coming true and now i'm so much happier.  it also wouldn't be nice to whoever i ended up with--look, i really wanted a valiant man of my own faith who could make a forever family with me and be my spiritual partner, but it wasn't happening so i gave up and ended up with you.  lovies!

3. relationships are about compromise and meeting in the middle so i should compromise dating outside of my religion.  this argument bugs me because it is so dumb.  i call this one, manipulation.

things are so much clearer when you call them by their real names.  i see that this is not about me.  i don't give any impression of racism and intolerance (horror), if i truly did, i would so very much want to change. this is about this man.  i see that this man is not a friend to me.  i see a wolf stepping out of sheep's clothing.  i can forgive the unkindness, but i'm not hanging around for lunch.


Andrea said...

I disagree that marriage is about compromise, anyway. Marriage is about consensus building. What's a compromise anyway? It just means that neither of you have what you really want.

Beth-a-knee said...

I don't like that guy. I'm glad your standards are so high. It would be tragic to see labee settle. You're right--once you type it out, his arguments are so ridiculous. It says more about him than it does about you.

Sarah-Lynn said...

I am angered by this man!!!