i'm starting again for the umpteenth time in my life.  and i'm grateful for the chance to try again.  and i hope that all my failures, my falling short of the mark will not define me, but the trying again, the never giving up, the rising each time i fall, to get up and win the race--i hope i find character in that.

i'm not talking about anything great or big.  just me.  just my life.  just a re-committal to scripture study, prayer, exercising, sleep, creativity, etc.  my spiritual and physical lives have been neglected as of late and i've been all out of balance.

i felt that familiar feeling of being trapped in dull nothingness.  numbness.  emptiness.

i prayed.  i cried.  i repented.  i plead. 

 and i was comforted.

 i felt hope and hopeful.

 i felt the power again to change, the will to change.  i knew what i had to do.

 i heard in a movie the other day, that if a woman changes her hair she is going to make changes in her life.  but i don't want to cut my hair.  i hope i don't have to cut my hair to change.  it just got long!

 i hope i can be bare and wild and free.  i hope i can unleash the beautiful wilderness inside of me.  "laura the wild look suits you." said my mom to the teenage me.