flysoarshine
my peony's first bloom! isn't she a beaut? white outer petals with a slight blush tint, creamy ivory frills inside with a splash of fuchsia at the heart
eventually i come to a point where i can't bury all this discontent anymore. this morning i talked to Heavenly Father about it. it was probably the first real communication he's had from me in a while. but you know what? he doesn't say "where have you been??" or "it's about time!" he doesn't punish me for my lethargy and sloth in spiritual matters. he says "i'm so glad you are back." "let me help you." "i love you." i really need to take a page out of his book when i deal with the people in my life. so basically i poured out my discontent to him this morning. and this evening i picked up my scriptures. my ponder book's last entry was may 27th. i looked at the scripture i had written there. it was about going to your brother and making peace before coming to the Saviour with full purpose of heart and being received by him. i had a thought and i picked up my pen and began to write. ideas and thoughts and insights began to flow out of me like a faucet. and in the end i realized that i needed to let go of the hardness in my heart that i had towards myself.
i didn't know i needed to be forgiven. but as i wrote forgiveness and mercy out on the pages i felt a burden lift. how often do we wonder why when we are drowning in stagnant waters when we are the ones holding our heads under the water? i think actively loving yourself goes a long way in freeing up fetters. i think we need to find ways to accept ourselves wherever we are on our journey. i think we need to tell ourselves that we are precious. how can i believe in my great work if i don't give myself that kind of support? what's the point in accusing myself when what i need is to let go of it and try again? Jesus Christ in not an accuser. he is the mercy man. he is the healing man. he wants everyone to come to him. being like him starts with myself.
Comments