whazoo

i feel like i haven't really written in a long time and that makes it hard to know where to start.  but the key, i tell myself, is just to start.  so i am.  tomorrow is fast sunday and so i'm making this weekend the beginning of my year.  i have high hopes for this year.  i have things i want to do.  i have improvements i want to make.  my heart's bursting with hopes and dreams.  it's a typical new year kind of feeling.

i heard in a ted talk that sometimes telling people your new goals gives you that positive feeling like you would get from actually making a change so then you don't always follow through to keep the goal, so i'm not going to list out my plans here.  i'll just let them come out in the course of actually doing them.

but i will tell you my one word theme for the year.  it's this: live.  i choose life.  it's the constant struggle of my frustrating mortality.  and this year i want to really live, to leave behind death and it's many forms that leech on to me.  no more death cuddles.  time for life high fives.  know what i mean?

i know it's going to be hard because sometimes death cuddles are so comfy and safe and life high fives can be scary although thrilling.  but i'm just going to keep trying.  that's all that matters, really.

and that's what's on my mind today.