dawn of a new day

archie kickin it his his duvet cave.  a messy bed holds no attraction for the fat orange cat, but a bed being re-made, sheets and all--that is a veritble bouquet of the strongest catnips to the hefty fellow.

the mormon channel has a segment on creativity.  i was listening to this pannel of writers discussing creativity and their processes and yadda yadda.  they were saying that most of the work of writing is just doing it every day.  and reading every day. that it was like working a muscle.  i've heard this before and i believe it's true.  not just for writing but for any creative endeavour.  if i want to get better at something i just have to keep doing it.  some stuff might not be good but it's how you get to the good stuff.

i struggle with this because i take lots of pics and then get overwhelmed with the editing aspect and so stop taking pics.  i could use some balance but what's new.

i think about creativity a lot.  i marvel at the bounty of creativity in our world.  it's amazing really.  for example--cheese.  there are more kinds of cheese than i can even think about.  and that's a cool thing about creativity it builds upon and expands on other things.  it's not selfish or miserly.  it's open and giving and it can expand in just about any direction.  and it's like every person has their own personal way of creating, making this world such a rich, wonderful and amazing place, from cheese to music, to architecture, to cars, to art, to clothes, to infinity and beyond.  and tapping into this creativity is tapping into your own divinity and a partnership with God who is the great creator.  so many people say that when they create it's like they are tapping into something, that it's not totally them.  i feel that way too.  sometimes i look at what i've done, or what i wrote in college or university, or photos i've taken and i think, how did i do that?  i actually did that?  that's more than what i am.  more than what i am capable of on my own.  but in partnership with God, what is there that we cannot do?  so i think the act of creating is an act of faith.  i may fall short.  i may fall flat on my face.  but there is also the capacity to soar.  and the more i exercise my faith/creativity the better my abilities (hopefully) and the higher God can fly me.   like a kite.  ha.

well those are just some of my thoughts.  i'm feeling so much better today.  i might actually do some cleaning.  then i don't have to look around and feel bad about myself because i have a messy house.  i loathe self loathing.  in the height of my misery and illness, i was sitting listlessly on the pot looking in despair at my overflowing recycling bag.  then i thought, why do i have to hate myself for not being good at this?  what good does that do?  why can't i be generous and kind to myself and so facilitate change and growth?  why do i sit here and wish that i was different? sometimes i'm hard on myself without realizing it.  it's like a current of thoughts that flow without much attention from me, until i stop and examine what i am actually thinking.  a messy house isn't a reason to despise yourself and wish to be someone different.  it's just something i'm not good at right now.  it does not define me.  right? of course right, as yenta would say.

ok later skater.