the long 3 hours

i'd like everyone to know that i finally have my favourite toothpaste again.  i dutifully finished off my plain mint paste, which you should know takes a very long time when one lives alone.....and when one only brushes once a month--however i brush more often than that so mine went a bit faster.  the point is, i have a full tube of cinnamon crest in my purse.  small mercies.

i am one of those people trapped by their homes.  sometimes my home seems like a jail to me and it's a prison of my own making.  i just can't seem to be as productive as i'd like in the walls of my own home but if i change locations things change.  that's why i spent my whole summer semester at ubc in the park across the street under that tree with my sun hat occasionally cheering puma around his park and occasionally visiting the honey pot.  and that's why i did a lot of school work actually at school.  when one is prone to home paralysis one needs coping mechanisms.  maybe this is why i have not been blessed with a family of my own.  who knows.

what i do know is that i had to leave the house last night and so i rushed off to the movies only to find that my movie was sold out.  i made the rash decision to wait for the next which was 3 hours later.  it was hard to while the time away.  i could be editing pics right now i told myself ruefully.  to while the time away i got a frozen yogurt.  that took 5 minutes off the clock.  then i decided to drive to ironwood to go shopping.  all that interested me was reitmans and it was not interesting.  then i bought some rj's at london drugs and my coconut milk conditioner because it was on sale.

only an hour had passed.  i drove down to the dike, parked my car in an empty parking lot across the street and got out.  the moon was big on the horizen and full and mount baker faded off into the background.  i stood looking at the water for a time but then a car drove by and the guy looked at me all dirty like from his side view mirror.  out right leered.  i decided to go back to my car and when i turned to cross the street behind his car he slowed down to a stop.  i didn't watch to see what he would do, but marched straight to my car.  creepy man.  i drove a bit and sat watching the water for a while and eating my rj's.  there was a man fishing.  the sun was setting.  an otter swam by.

i left.  it was 9.  i went back.  i asked for pepperoni pizza at pizza pizza and they didn't have any--again.  so i got poutine at new york fries even though i didn't want it. the boy gave me a cuppa water and said to tell him if i needed more.  i chugged it right there and then and asked for more.  "sorry, i'm very thirsty." i said lamely.  "it was a very warm day." he said soothingly--not looking at me.  i couldn't waste any more time.  it was 9:11.  maybe the theatre would be empty.  i tried. the girl told me to come back in an hour.  i ate my poutine on the front steps and hungrily texted people and re-watched the silly videos i've done on my phone.  my battery was dying.

 two yutes were smoking near me.   i went to my car and that's when i saw the squamish paper that elicia or heather left in my car.  i looked through it and found a sudoku and that's what i did until it was time to go in.  by the time the movie started i was totally stumped.

the movie was 'the help'.  so good.  i loved it.  powerful, moving and courageous.  i want to do good courageous things.  but right now i'll have to appease myself by sleeping.