p-p-p-p-p-p-pappa says...

hi.

this weekend i took some positive steps towards unfettering my soul.  basically i did a lot of laundry and put my clothes away and i vacuumed.  shrug.  apparently my soul is very sensitive to my physical environment.  giddiyup.

i have this book by wendy watson nelson.  it's called change your questions to change your life. i bought it last year on the infamous douglas temple trip and i never got very far into it.  but lately i've been innerly nudged to pick it up again.  so today i did.  it was time.

so the book is all about the power of questions. questions can help you to see things differently or more in depth.  questions can bring your focus to something you may have missed.  questions can promote healing.   questions starts with a 'q'.  (that's not in the book. that's my personal contribution).  sometimes we are asking ourselves questions that perpetuate our problem and keep us under the proverbial thumb.  eeeeh--i don't like being under the thumb. geroffame!

so basically i was eating this stuff up.  and i would like to share two, maybe three things...maybe 22.

1. focusing on the problem can be the problem--sometimes our particular issue can consume us and it's all we think about, it's all that motivates us etc.  problem=centre of our lives.  (i just thought of this--Alma 37:36-37 this is what the true focus of our lives needs to be.  anyways back to regular programing--).  wendy says to think of yourself in the problem situation and then she gives us the miracle question: "if i woke up tomorrow and a miracle had occurred and my problem was gone, --how would i know?  --what would be different?  --what would i do?"  then you're supposed to write about it.  i talked to myself about it and archie eavesdropped.  the thing i noticed the most was the light positive feeling.  i felt free and unencumbered. i saw myself really living life.

2. the problem could be the story we tell about the problem--wuuut.  ya!  we tell ourselves and others the story of our life and we cast ourselves in the story in different ways.  wendywatsonnelson says:

victims--those who are downtrodden and are always under the influence of someone or some problem or force.  one can be a victim even of time and "busyness".

survivors--those who seek constantly to find a way just to stay afloat amid unending difficulties, challenges, and disasters.

heroes--those who have discovered the strength, skill, and understanding to enjoy a rich, full life--despite horrific problems they never thought they would be battling and that would defeat a lesser person.  a hero is also keen to help others by sharing what they have discovered (hey i'm being heroic right now!)

i see that i cast myself in each of these roles depending on the situation but i identified the most with the survivor. just sayin' is all.

then you write about a time you faced a troubling situation and came out the victor (ie. hero) and ask yourself these questions--how did you feel? what did you learn? what did that experience tell you about the person you really are?

off the top of my head i can think of amy heroically mastering her doubts and fears mountain biking, heroically facing her emotions and learning from difficult situations.  bethany, heroically rising up to comfort and support her husband, finding creative and new ways to deal with the challenges of motherhood.  katie, meeting financial challenges proactively by taking on a paper route with her girls.  andrea heroically wearing women's cloths--just kiddin.  andrea heroically overcoming her injuries and fears and challenging them. sarah courageously looking on the bright side of a winterpeg winter...  i could go on and on but i've wrote heroically too many times.  the rest of you have been heroes too.  know that i know it.

wendy says to write the next week of your life in advance and she asks "what hero-like things will you do, say, think, and feel in order to live a hero's life this very next week?"  provocative innit?

ok so you may be weary of my wendy-river-of-thoughts so i'll skip right to 22

22. could your beliefs be the problem?  this is a fascinating chapter all about the questions we can ask ourselves about our core beliefs of who we are.  because of course, that effects how we see everything.  wendy explains, "there are two kind of core beliefs: --hindering or constraining beliefs which decrease options for solutions  --helpful or facilitating beliefs, which increase options for solutions"

the hindering trap us and bind us.  the helpful free and empower us.  i'm tired of feeling like a captive.  that miracle question gave me a taste for freedom.

so then wendy talks about different ways we can discover our core beliefs and then gives us questions we can use to replace those bad'uns.  i'm not going to get into it because i just can't quote the whole book, as much as i would like to.  but one thing i'd like to ask y'all and i hope you really do answer, what spoken and unspoken family mottos did we have in our family?  what influence did said mottos have on you? did you accept it as true? did you resent it? how does it influence you today?  examples from wendy: big boys don't cry. it's always darkest before the dawn. most of the work in the world is done by people who don't feel well. never let them see you sweat.  your worth is equal to how hard you work. i'd just like to see what you guys think.  don't let me down or i won't be your friend anymore.  just kidding.

ok i'm done!  thanks for indulging me, if in fact you have.  if you haven't indulged me, it's not too late...