joy cometh in the morning
well i'm sitting here by my drafty window. i'm on the red ikea office chair. my bare feet are pressing against the cold metal. my hair is wild--flat in some places, wonky sprongs in others, generally matted and unkempt. i'm slouching in the clothes i slept in--grey PRO-TECT NATURE t-shirt and maroon yoga pants. i've just slurped down some hot cereal with melted peanut butter and a swirl of maple syrup and reconstituted powdered milk. i've got a little orange tea pot brewing a cup of lemon ginger tea sitting beside my retro green butterfly mug.
i'm feeling optimistic. i'm feeling stronger. i've got a bud of joy in my heart. i've got pa's twinkle in my eye. :)
it's many things but largely it's health. it's been around 9 years since i've needed a puffer and i wanted my asthma attack to go away on it's own. i spent some dark days hardly breathing, with a squeezy hard chest and body wracking coughs, curdling air ways. holed up and hibernating. doing nothing but facilitating a fight between fear and pride.
in the end i shut them both up and went to the dr. enough is enough. my dr. was away so i got lisa's dr. i love him. laid back, funny and closes his eyes when he talks to you. haha. he gave me the expensive puffer from his sample closet and made me try it out in his presence which i felt very silly doing. the other puffer only cost me 5 bucks. i started to feel better right away. today the darkness is gone and the lights are back on. i still have a crazy cough but i can breathe so much better. it's no shame to have an asthma relapse. it's ridiculous to sit around denying it while gurgling your last breaths. :)
incidentally, lemon ginger is my favourite tea right now.
incidentally, i like you.
i'm feeling optimistic. i'm feeling stronger. i've got a bud of joy in my heart. i've got pa's twinkle in my eye. :)
it's many things but largely it's health. it's been around 9 years since i've needed a puffer and i wanted my asthma attack to go away on it's own. i spent some dark days hardly breathing, with a squeezy hard chest and body wracking coughs, curdling air ways. holed up and hibernating. doing nothing but facilitating a fight between fear and pride.
in the end i shut them both up and went to the dr. enough is enough. my dr. was away so i got lisa's dr. i love him. laid back, funny and closes his eyes when he talks to you. haha. he gave me the expensive puffer from his sample closet and made me try it out in his presence which i felt very silly doing. the other puffer only cost me 5 bucks. i started to feel better right away. today the darkness is gone and the lights are back on. i still have a crazy cough but i can breathe so much better. it's no shame to have an asthma relapse. it's ridiculous to sit around denying it while gurgling your last breaths. :)
incidentally, lemon ginger is my favourite tea right now.
incidentally, i like you.
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