good bye, good bye! i don't know why you say good bye i say hello..

edith is gone. she left me her scene card, her choices preferred shopping card, save-on more card, two bus tickets, $5 dollars on an la vie en rose card and her pink fluffy robe, amongst other things. last night she was a jumble of nerves about flying. i was editing photos at the computer. periodically i would turn around to look at her and she'd be sitting on the couch staring straight ahead, tense. we decided to listen to some ces fireside talks and byu devotionals. the talk i picked was by elder anderson. he talked about the plane that had to land in the hudson river in new york because canadian geese got sucked into their engines. oh boy. i'm going to hear about this, i thought. sure enough when the talk was over, a small voice says to me "do you think there will be canadian geese tomorrow?"

well nikki and i sent her off. i packed her three suitcases in my trunk and she said i should be a taxi driver. "because i'm good with luggage?" i asked. "yep." she said with a laugh. then we drove to the bank where i realized that i did not have my wallet so we drove back home and then ditched the bank and drove the airport. edith was giddy with excitement.

we ate at a restaurant that wasn't milestones because milestones was gone. i had a lamb burger--greek style. talk about good. it was on a ciabatta bun with feta cheese and like a minced greek salad on the bun! hello folks. it was edith's 'last supper'. then we walked her to the security gate had a discussion on why she would smell like sun tan lotion, hugged her and said good bye. nikki grabbed my arm and pulled me away so i didn't see her go through the gate.

when i got home i wanted to watch north and south but the dvd players won't read the dvd. this bugs me so much. i need my north and south fix! instead i watched oceans 12 which wasn't quite the same but whatever.

we hired a new girl at work. i knew she was young but today i asked her how old she is. she's 20. i had to ask her a few times to repeat herself. yes 20. when i was 20 i was working at mcdonald's saving for my mission. so since i asked her, she asked me. she said she thought i was 23 but then she heard me say that i had worked there for 6 years. i don't know how i trick the new people all the time. lisa m. thought i was 19 when she first started. i was thinking about it how much i've changed since my early 20's. i think a big change is i'm a lot more confident and sure of who i am and what my boundaries are. also i don't have a crush on coby who used to play tag with me and all sorts of silly games while we worked at the golden arches. :) also, now i have wrinkles and wiry gray hairs that stand up straight off of my head--there's that too.

anyways the new girl is nice if not somewhat pleasingly blind...

part of living alone and not having tv means i've been reading more. karey gave me a book to read at andrea's. it's called warriors don't cry and it's about the big-deal-integration of 9 black kids into a high school in arkansas in the late 50s. so interesting. the degree of hatred and fear that existed is unfathomable to me. there's one photograph that totally shocked me. it was of a teenage black girl and she's surrounded by a white mob and they are mostly women--mothers. and one lady is yelling another lady is right beside her both of their faces are so full of hate. that's what shocked me--women--the nurturers of the world--they were haters too. which, when you think about it, makes sense that generations of kids were growing up hating if their mother's were haters. it was an interesting book--unbelievable what those kids had to live through.

now i'm almost done a book andrea gave me--have a little faith by mitch albom. i'm really liking this one too. in fact i think i'll go finish it before i fall asleep.