i love short grain brown rice. it's way better than long grain. short is where it's at. edith despises my tuna rice meal but i'm beginning to relish it. i'm beginning to take delight in it's deliciousness. sometimes, some things and some people grow on you.

i am periodically afraid that my life will have gone by and i will not have lived it. i regularly get the feeling like i don't know where time has gone. all this is to mean, i've almost been six years in the 30's and have been barely cognizant of the fact. what have i done in the first half of the 30s decade? i've worked is mostly what i've done. and it's been a good job that i can feel good about, so that's good. but isn't there more for me to do? am i just wasting the time i've been given to do it? these are the kinds of things i think about sometimes.

i was feeling ill prepared for sunbeams today. i spent the whole weekend with fats-oh-rama doing secretive bridal things and i got home late and so so so tired. at one point when driving i was feeling so tired. fats was feeling it too. our conversation had waned. slavica had nodded off in the back. "do you want me to pinch you?" asked fatti-two-shoes helpfully. "yes i do." i affirmed. "ok. where?" she was all business. i motioned to my tender upper arm. then she pinched me and she pinched me hard. little brown fingers delivering pain for the better good of all in the car. "owwwwwwwwwww!" i yelped. it worked but not for long.

i wasn't talking about that though. i was talking about sunbeams. i got to bed around 11 and i woke up at seven and read my lesson while falling asleep. the light was so cruelly bright. the lesson was entitled "i am thankful for the animals". i love the simplicity of sunbeam lessons. i fell back asleep. i prayed for help. i was late for church. waltzing in to the tune of the opening hymn.

on the way to primary i heard nolan behind me with his dad. "i don't want to go to class!" his dad: "you have to go to class." nolan: "but i don't want to!" oh great i thought. another day when everyone doesn't want to come to class. he wouldn't sit with me in opening exercizes. he sat with his brother and glared at me when i waved at him, and covered his eyes so he didn't have to see me. the other kids were nowhere to be seen. when we were dismissed it looked like he wasn't going to come with me but eventually he came. walked right into the room and right under the table. oh boy, i thought. just before shutting the door i saw evan down the hall with esther. i glared at him in the way that he likes and called him and to my surprise he actually came running into the room--so that's progress. he went under the table with nolan.

i played "where is nolan and evan? are they out the window?...no...are they under my chair...no..." and got them laughing and calling me. it was a good lesson for the boys because we have already established a love of animals. so we pretended to be animals and the others guessed what we were, we talked about animals and we played and went to the washroom and had snacks and while they snacked i taught them about noah and the arc. telling kids this age a story is the best. their eyes grow so wide and you know their minds are with you imagining what you're saying. it was much harder to get the attention of my 9/10s to tell a story, although they liked stories too sometimes if you could get their attention. so anyways today was much more successful than i thought. one thing i was inspired to do was to do things more to their level and teach in subtle ways.

during singing time both boys actually sat with me although esther had to sit with evan so he'd sit with us. nolan fell asleep sitting up. dead asleep. he was so cute. i almost wasn't able to wake him when primary was over.

choir--i've been the only soprano the last couple of weeks i've been to choir. this is a burden i cannot bear. because i'm not good enough! and since my cold/cough/asthma attack at the end of the olympics i haven't been able to sing as high or as long. and there is no one to cover my lack. i have to parade it around to everyone. today my voice was particularly weak. at the end i had lost all control of it. i don't even know what it was doing, but it wasn't hitting e's and it was barely hitting d's. i felt bad for sister i. i think she ended early because everything was sounding badly and it was my fault! and we sing in church next week! what am i going to do? there has to be at least two other sopranos. there has to be.

you know when you have naps even though you know you shouldn't? even though you know it will make you stay up too late? even though you know you need to go to bed early to get up early? ya, it's what i do. sometimes a sunday afternoon nap is just so delicious.