what's your prob bob?

denude: To divest of all covering; to make bare or naked; to strip; to divest; as, to denude one of clothing, or lands.

i've got a problem. i'm denuding my eyelid. deforestation of my lids is occurring right before my horrified eyes. i could stop it, but i don't. the thing is, cousin kevin gave me this wonderful new clinique mascara. it's tear, sweat and smudge proof. it will only come off with hot water and then it comes off in slithery black tubes. so i wear it and then i go to bed without taking off my make-up and wake up late--oh my lashes still look good! great! less for me to do this morning and so it continues so that when i actually do get around to taking off the mascara that has become a constant cement on my dwindling lashes the lashes often give up their fight for life and jump ship with the mascara. this is getting to be a desperate case. i need to do something and i need to do something SOON.

it's so lovely and balmy today. the weather on a whole has been so joyous lately. i mean i feel really bad for the olympic makers--what a crappy thing to have happen. like as if people weren't on their cases enough already. now they have something to crow about and lord over. i can understand that people are politically against the olympics but the poor olympic makers are just trying to do the best they can and they just really can't control the weather. the way i feel about it is this: i love the olympics! i love sport--training and doing something hard for so long to overcome, to do your best and to inspire your nation. i love that. i love the heart, the dedication, the fire, the perfecting of one's self. i love how it gets us all cheering for our country and our people and people in general. i love the stories. i love the olympics, but that's never been a secret.

i also love this weather! it is just so wonderful! if only it could be like this down here and snowy up there.

i bought a journal today. not that i'm done my other journals but they are all in storage until june 2011 or something like that so i can't wait that long. i've been feeling this want--this desire for journaling growing and today i passed the book store, did a swivel pivot foot and swung into the store. i bought the owl one that sarah, bethany and i saw at chapters after christmas and said to ourselves "hey an owl journal! this should have been in amy's stocking!" well now it's in my hot little hands. it has rows and rows of cute colourful owls. amy likes owls and i like owls and i like amy and she likes me. (yes you do.)

i happened to be in the mall today to buy michealah something to replace the extra large leggings she got for christmas. i had returned them earlier in the week but didn't buy anything because the girl told me that on the weekend all kids and baby stuff would be 30% off. well hello! so today, with katie in my ear via cellular device, i combed that store dry. katie was on the website and what was on the site did not always jive with what was in the store. she really maxed out my power of description. there were these particular shirts, (we ended up chosing one of them in the end) that weren't on the site that i described to her four or five times. i described the polka dot colour combos more than that. "could you describe those for me?" katie would ask. "what." i would answer with a voice devoid of life, yes dead. then i would say "ok, and this is the 4th or 5th time i'm telling that there is a green shirt with blue polka dots, a navy blue with purple polka dots...etc" in the end we narrowed it down to a dress, a sweater, a top and the t-shirt hoodies. the top was out because it was nice but not nice enough, the sweater was out because it was too pricey and lastly it was between the dress and the shirt hoodie and katie chose the shirt hoodie. when i closed my phone it said we had been talking for 42 minutes. 42 minutes of back and forth clothes descriptions and negotiations. i hope they are happy with their choice. it cost only a dollar and twenty cents more than the leggings, thanks to the sale.

i have another problem. it's called lack of sleep. this has been going on too long. i can't take it any longer and i'm going to put my foot down. it's not just feeling tired. lack of sleep effects so many things. i'm going to make a list!

1. looks. it effects my looks. it adds tired eyes, darker circles, puffier bags. i'm more rushed getting ready in the morning so i chose my clothes listlessly and do the bare minimum with my hair. sometimes if i really sleep in i just don't do my hair--shocking, i know. today's a good example. it really should have been washed but instead it's pulled back into an unflattering ponytail with knarly strands and clumps hanging in the back of my head and frizzes wisping out the sides and front. and i'm supposed to go out to eat tonight and i'm going to feel hid--eee--ose!

2. spirituality. i read like one verse of scripture or a couple verses that i don't really focus on because it's after one in the morning. my prayers don't make sense because i'm deliriously tired or in a big rush. i don't take the time and pause and meditate and think and connect with Heavenly Father buoy myself up with faith and inspiration.

3. productivity. i take naps after work during prime blogging/editing/whatevering time and then the cycle continues because i'm not tired when bed time rolls along.

4. physical health. the less sleep you get, that fatter you get, the worse food decisions you make, the less time and gumption i have to go to the gym or get out of the house and move.

lack of sleep ruins everything. and what have i been doing up late all week? i've been photo editing into the wee hours. i just feel like i have so much to do and i'm so behind! and then lots of the photos i'm doing are just bad photos and i'm trying to fix them and you just can't fix them--they're bad! let it go! that's what i've had to do. and i get so i'm not even enjoying myself so this too has to change.

one last problem: now that i FINALLY have photoshop again, i'm feeling super guilty about it because it was given to me on a burnt cd and i didn't buy it. i'm having a conflict of wanting to be honest and really wanting to have photoshop. and then i think how can i ask for blessings when i'm not keeping my end of the bargain. and then i think but i want it!!!!!!!!!! and then i think what do you want more? and then i sulk. part of having faith is doing what you know is right even if you don't get what you want or it's not easy. grrrrrrrrrr.