boobies

"because that's for your boobs, right?" adriel confirmed with me as i snatched my bra from the floor previous to strapping it on. yes that's right it's all about boobs. it's high time for a boobs rant.

i just got home from winners. i decided to shop rather than fall into the after work nap pit, a pit i've been snared in all too much this week. the thing is, it's been over a year since i last bought a bra and it has come to my attention that the loose material i strap over my booZAM every morning does little but keep the girls from showing too much detail or flopping about the chest with every whim of the wind. the back can be pulled out a foot our two before giving any resistance and the straps are perpetually prepared for an off the shoulder garment event. what i'm saying is like my car, i neglect my poor boobs and their needs. anyways, i like to shop for bras at winners because they have higher end quality bras on clearance for 8.00 or 12.00 etc. actually i don't like to shop for bras at all, but it's the place i prefer.

one of the reasons i don't like shopping for bras, is i'm a terrible size. i'm sure there are lots of lucky busts out there who fit perfectly into whatever size they are but my two friends from grade 4 aren't one of those kind of lucky busts. they're difficult. the problems as i see it, is that most women who are my body size are super busty. they're busting out all over the place. but i'm not. i'm modest of bust-big of body. so what i do, is go through the racks and take every bra in my size range. i've found that i can go up a cup size if i go down a back size. so selecting from both cup sizes gives me more options. however it isn't a perfect science, as i was to discover. today i went to the change room with 25 bras. there was a nice lady there who told me the limit was 6. i was going to have to leave 19 bras out front and travel back and forth to get new bras. i wasn't into this idea and we came to a compromise. she let me use the handy-capped change room which was right beside the holding zone for my extra bras.

so the torture began. backs that were too flimsy, straps too thin, little pockets of air in some of the bigger cups, sides that fold over, and scratchiness. i somehow ended up with two push bras in the mix and one minimizer. i caught the minimizer in time and didn't even try it on. minimizing is not what i'm about. but what is with push up bras? i just cannot see how they are attractive in any way. like here are my boobs squished together, pushed way up and served on a platter for all to see. no thanks. so i didn't try on the minimizer, and one reject in a different colour, so after squeezing and squishing, pulling and fastening into 23 different bras, i re-tried on 5 of the maybes. 3 were no good. what i ended up with, surprisingly was two lacy numbers. i'm generally not a lacy number kind of girl because they don't do well under all fabrics, but they were the best and didn't hold the lace against them. boob beggers and can't be boob choosers.

and here's the thing. i don't want to be a boob begger anymore. i know exactly what i want when it comes to a bra. it just doesn't exist. i want to design my own bra. and then i want someone else to sew it. who's with me? we can have a sew your own bra club!

in better news, i also found a pair of calvin klein jeans for only 20.00 so that was good.

sorry for having such an explicit rant, sometimes i just need to get these things off my chest (literally).