nightmare

well today was the day of my ultrasound. oh my gosh. i've never been in that much agony. an hour before my ultrasound was when the real torture began. the cruel irony was that after i got there and went to the bathroom twice to "let a little out" as the receptionist said (which in itself is torture. how do you let a little out without wanting to explode?? without using everything that is in you to squeeze the faucet shut when the raging flood waters are pounding at the dam, if you know what i'm saying) waited and waited while all these other people got called to go and i thought i was going to die, ("i can't do this, i can't do this, i'm just going to go tell them that i can't do this, there is no way i can do this."), feeling exquisite pain, feeling nauseaous, feeling like every second is an eternity, then after i get called and put on a ridiculous gown backwards, and get the jelly on the belly and the pressure applied just in the right spot to make things worse, the ultrasound lady says my bladder is too full and go fill up this cup and come back!!! are you kidding me?? i'm in this much agony and i didn't have to be?? is 32oz two hours before your appointment just a joke that everyone else knows about and not me? well i know now. and so i sloppily filled the cup with some messy relief and came back. i could hardly see the screen and no one pointed out my ovaries to me like they point out a baby's features for an expectant mother, but it was quickly over and the lady said my dr. would have the results in about a week and i was free to go pee and leave unless i wanted to hang around which i really didn't. and so i peed there, and i peed when i got home and i peed again after a nap and i peed just a while ago and i still feel like i have to go pee. is this what pregnant people have to do? ugh.