i confess
i'm feeling emotional. and bad.
1. i made a big deal about heather taking a dvd. i don't know why. she didn't ask, she just took it and told me. and i said no and she said yes. so i threw a stink. like a kid. like a little kid. but then elicia found it by the door where she left it and that makes me feel worse, because who really cares? who really cares. i'm going to email her and appologize.
2. i must have a mild hypochondria or something. i worry about things. i worry i'm going to get something major. small things worry me. i think about them throughout the day. like why do i have all these blood pin pricks all the time now? i find them scattered all over. what if it's something bad? what if i ask the dr about it and i look like a stupid? why do i feel this weekness, this twinge in the middle of my thigh. "i have leukemia" i tell people. i know it's not funny. i really don't want to have something bad. the lining of my uterus hasn't emptied in over a year. maybe something bad is the cause.
you know putting it down in black and white makes it seem so silly.
3. i just watched er which often leaves me feeling emotional. today i swallowed a cry at the end.
4. i'm on a hormone after all.
5. financial matters of course. sometimes money seems like water slipping through my fingers. and i bounced a cheque.
6. i just finished reading lovely bones. finishing a good book at any time is an emotional thing.
7. bethany's leaving and although i understand and support it, it makes my heart ache.
speaking of reading a book, i've been staying up late every night reading and that is most likely a factor too. i went to lisa's after work yesterday and taught her to knit. she's a funny student and doesn't think much of herself, but i thought she was a pretty fast learner. she ordered us her favourite pizza, mushroom and feta from wheat house.
when i got home i thought of watching a movie because heather kindly left her dvd player with us for a couple of days so we could do just that. but what i wanted to do was read. elicia wanted me to read out here. are you going to be noisy? i asked her. she has a habit of chattering to the cats and singing songs that she makes up and stuff, which is totally fine, but i wouldn't be able to stay and read. she assured me that she and the cats already had their conversations. so i did. and i read and read and read
and elicia went to bed. i began to wonder what time it was and i got up to see. it was quater to one. and i hadn't taken a picture of the day. so i took one of me reading. and then i went to bed.
archie is bugging me right now. it seems like no matter how much i feed him he is continually bugging me for food. and i don't like it. and i'm not giving him foods at twelve when he's had all his feedings.
these two pictures of jordan were taken on wednesday. this one i picked for the pic. but i like the other one too. maybe they look he same to you. i like the blueness of the other one. but i like the dark background of this one.
i can't believe that anna nicole smith died today. i feel sorry for her. i mean she was on entertainment tonight with the same interview stretched out for months and she was just so pathetic and i don't see what is so entertaining about her. and now people are talkin
g about her death like it's an exciting bit of news. something juicy. i can't help reminding myself that she was a human being, but it doesn't feel like people think of her as a real person. not a character. anyway i just don't like it. and i'm going to stay away from entertainment tonight and the like. i can't stand those shows anyways if truth be told.
selena, randy, heather and jordan were all our guests for the new season of survivor opener today. jordan made a big dinner. does jordan do anything that is not big and grandiose? he's an all out kind of guy. he made steak for me and him and chicken for elicia. that's not all. he made yummy butternut squash, delicious garlic bread and was ready with some guacamole ingredients. but we were too full, so he's leaving it for us. jordan's cooking tip #16: when making guacamole, always have one firm avacado to mix with the mushy ones. "add that to your tips." he told me.
last night when i got up from my reading couch, my legs were so hot they felt like hot burning pipes encased in jeans. and right now my feet are ablaze. i think it has to do with what you eat. for example heather tells me that she gets really hot at night when she eats a lot because she's digesting or something. i don't know.
i still haven't taken a pic. another late night pic coming up.
1. i made a big deal about heather taking a dvd. i don't know why. she didn't ask, she just took it and told me. and i said no and she said yes. so i threw a stink. like a kid. like a little kid. but then elicia found it by the door where she left it and that makes me feel worse, because who really cares? who really cares. i'm going to email her and appologize.
2. i must have a mild hypochondria or something. i worry about things. i worry i'm going to get something major. small things worry me. i think about them throughout the day. like why do i have all these blood pin pricks all the time now? i find them scattered all over. what if it's something bad? what if i ask the dr about it and i look like a stupid? why do i feel this weekness, this twinge in the middle of my thigh. "i have leukemia" i tell people. i know it's not funny. i really don't want to have something bad. the lining of my uterus hasn't emptied in over a year. maybe something bad is the cause.
you know putting it down in black and white makes it seem so silly.
3. i just watched er which often leaves me feeling emotional. today i swallowed a cry at the end.
4. i'm on a hormone after all.
5. financial matters of course. sometimes money seems like water slipping through my fingers. and i bounced a cheque.
6. i just finished reading lovely bones. finishing a good book at any time is an emotional thing.
7. bethany's leaving and although i understand and support it, it makes my heart ache.
speaking of reading a book, i've been staying up late every night reading and that is most likely a factor too. i went to lisa's after work yesterday and taught her to knit. she's a funny student and doesn't think much of herself, but i thought she was a pretty fast learner. she ordered us her favourite pizza, mushroom and feta from wheat house.
when i got home i thought of watching a movie because heather kindly left her dvd player with us for a couple of days so we could do just that. but what i wanted to do was read. elicia wanted me to read out here. are you going to be noisy? i asked her. she has a habit of chattering to the cats and singing songs that she makes up and stuff, which is totally fine, but i wouldn't be able to stay and read. she assured me that she and the cats already had their conversations. so i did. and i read and read and read
and elicia went to bed. i began to wonder what time it was and i got up to see. it was quater to one. and i hadn't taken a picture of the day. so i took one of me reading. and then i went to bed.archie is bugging me right now. it seems like no matter how much i feed him he is continually bugging me for food. and i don't like it. and i'm not giving him foods at twelve when he's had all his feedings.
these two pictures of jordan were taken on wednesday. this one i picked for the pic. but i like the other one too. maybe they look he same to you. i like the blueness of the other one. but i like the dark background of this one.
i can't believe that anna nicole smith died today. i feel sorry for her. i mean she was on entertainment tonight with the same interview stretched out for months and she was just so pathetic and i don't see what is so entertaining about her. and now people are talkin
g about her death like it's an exciting bit of news. something juicy. i can't help reminding myself that she was a human being, but it doesn't feel like people think of her as a real person. not a character. anyway i just don't like it. and i'm going to stay away from entertainment tonight and the like. i can't stand those shows anyways if truth be told.selena, randy, heather and jordan were all our guests for the new season of survivor opener today. jordan made a big dinner. does jordan do anything that is not big and grandiose? he's an all out kind of guy. he made steak for me and him and chicken for elicia. that's not all. he made yummy butternut squash, delicious garlic bread and was ready with some guacamole ingredients. but we were too full, so he's leaving it for us. jordan's cooking tip #16: when making guacamole, always have one firm avacado to mix with the mushy ones. "add that to your tips." he told me.
last night when i got up from my reading couch, my legs were so hot they felt like hot burning pipes encased in jeans. and right now my feet are ablaze. i think it has to do with what you eat. for example heather tells me that she gets really hot at night when she eats a lot because she's digesting or something. i don't know.
i still haven't taken a pic. another late night pic coming up.
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