i don't know what i was doing last night in my sleep, but i woke up today so so so so tired. like every ounce of my being begged to stay in bed. and it's not like i missed out on a lot of sleep. i had around seven and that's pretty good for me. i had absolutely nothing to give. at work i just wanted to put my head down and sleep. tanya said she's never seen me with so little energy. luckily my motor started running once we got going. there weren't a lot of people working so i needed to do a lot of things at the same time as doing the soup. nothing like multi-tasking to get me going. the first time i notcied the zone i get into while doing a bunch of things like that at once was when i was the drive thru girl at McDonald's. i always had a bunch of things going at the same time, like getting the drinks for the orders, taking an order and taking someone's money at the same time. i was a pretty darn good drive thru girl if i say so myself. could've been a career if i didn't go and sacrifice it all for a mission. :)

speaking of careers, i started looking up school stuff just before it was time to leave for home and ended up staying two hours looking at stuff. it's scary.

then i went to the gym. woah. is there ever a lot of people at the gym at that time! and mostly men. one of the said species let out a really stinky smell when i was on the stair master. gross. glad we don't have any farters in the morning crowd. i'm glad i went even though it was late. i walked away feeling stronger and in control.

this morning on the way to work i was driving during the sunrise moments. i was thinking some profound things about fear and love and faith and on the way home i was driving in the sunset moments and i couldn't really remember what i had been thinking this morning. i wonder if tomorrow will be the same. i wonder if my life will be another groundhog day after another.

last night when i went to bed i read a verse that is meaningful in the context of my life right now:

1Nephi 7:12-- "Yea, and how is it that ye have forgoten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful unto him."

it's funny because last year this verse was calling me to be faithful about something else and now it's reminding me to have faith in an entirely different sort of matter. i like how that happens. i'm trying to choose an attitude of faith these days when i stand on the fork of faith and fear or faith and discouragement, etc.