colder than antarctica
i told fatima that i was so cold that i put two sweaters over my current sweater. (it's true, i did.) she said i should attach a hot water bottle to my extremities. she wack. her other solution would probably be vicks vapor rub. that girl has a one track mind. if it's not vicks it's hot water bottles, and if not that yoga.
at work today i had some icky situations. situations with people that just make you feel icky. creepy crawlies. i hate the creepy crawlies. and i hate suspecting creepiness in some and blatantly being victimized by the oozing creepiness of others. should i have a thicker skin? should i tell people off. it's just not me. i mean i handle it, but it just makes me feel bad and icky inside and sad just to have to deal with creepy crawly situations at all. i wish i could be angry and mean and aggressive. people with those skills protect themselves from a lot.
the day before i had demented 10 minute messages on my voicmail accusatory, threatening, putting me down. the things said were ridiculous and if i'm objective i know that it is nothing to do with me and that someone is just not well. and really not well and when i think about it that way i feel a rush of sympathy and the a call for the helper in me. but the messages and ensuing drama, including a delivery of a large empty box while i was out, shook me up. it made me feel the old way. the yook way. total yook tactics. i told some of the girls about him today. just came out and told them and told them parts i haven't really told anyone. i don't know what made me do it. i barely know them. i saw on their faces that they didn't really know what to say or how to take it. talk about sudden self revelation. i felt uncomfy doing it too, but at the same time i wanted to say it. to have my ugliness blurted out in front of strangers. still there were things i couldn't brng myself to say totally honestly. too raw.
after work i worked on my taxes, and my finances. budgets savings, bills and debts. it's my goal to get it all under control and that's a big goal let me tell you. i'm excited about my plans to save. i'm terrified about facing the things i've let pile up over many many years. but i'll just do it and do my best.
then i read some martha stewart magazines. i got all excited about this article about curry and the different curries of the world and it had some really great recipes and i was excited about some other projects in her magazine and i was thinking about it. why do i get so excited about recipes and the thought of making something new that i've never made before? and i realized that it's not neccessarily about eating it once it's made. it's the accomplishment of making it. it's the act of creation that inspires me. it inspires me in many different ways. i love to create. maybe that's just a little spark of divinity manifesting intself in me. after all i'm a daughter of the great creator and i think his creations are where all his joys and sorrows are found.
my arms are fat with sweater.
at work today i had some icky situations. situations with people that just make you feel icky. creepy crawlies. i hate the creepy crawlies. and i hate suspecting creepiness in some and blatantly being victimized by the oozing creepiness of others. should i have a thicker skin? should i tell people off. it's just not me. i mean i handle it, but it just makes me feel bad and icky inside and sad just to have to deal with creepy crawly situations at all. i wish i could be angry and mean and aggressive. people with those skills protect themselves from a lot.
the day before i had demented 10 minute messages on my voicmail accusatory, threatening, putting me down. the things said were ridiculous and if i'm objective i know that it is nothing to do with me and that someone is just not well. and really not well and when i think about it that way i feel a rush of sympathy and the a call for the helper in me. but the messages and ensuing drama, including a delivery of a large empty box while i was out, shook me up. it made me feel the old way. the yook way. total yook tactics. i told some of the girls about him today. just came out and told them and told them parts i haven't really told anyone. i don't know what made me do it. i barely know them. i saw on their faces that they didn't really know what to say or how to take it. talk about sudden self revelation. i felt uncomfy doing it too, but at the same time i wanted to say it. to have my ugliness blurted out in front of strangers. still there were things i couldn't brng myself to say totally honestly. too raw.
after work i worked on my taxes, and my finances. budgets savings, bills and debts. it's my goal to get it all under control and that's a big goal let me tell you. i'm excited about my plans to save. i'm terrified about facing the things i've let pile up over many many years. but i'll just do it and do my best.
then i read some martha stewart magazines. i got all excited about this article about curry and the different curries of the world and it had some really great recipes and i was excited about some other projects in her magazine and i was thinking about it. why do i get so excited about recipes and the thought of making something new that i've never made before? and i realized that it's not neccessarily about eating it once it's made. it's the accomplishment of making it. it's the act of creation that inspires me. it inspires me in many different ways. i love to create. maybe that's just a little spark of divinity manifesting intself in me. after all i'm a daughter of the great creator and i think his creations are where all his joys and sorrows are found.
my arms are fat with sweater.
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