after reading katie's exciting adventure story, i phoned dad to get more detail. while talking to him i asked him if he had recieved the birthday present i left on mom's bed for him at thanksgiving. he didn't, so i phoned mom to see if she had seen it. mom was at the legal library (i didn't know there was such a thing in nanaimo) looking up stuff about martha's rights i guess. mom told me about how she and dad are going to be gone for chirstmas. now i feel sad and disappointed, and like i heard her say it, but it can't really be true. i was at work and i was getting all teary and so i had to hang up because #1, if you cry at work, people generally become concerned and when they ask you what's wrong you say your parent's won't be home for christmas? that they've abandoned you? it sounds like something someone my age shouldn't care a great deal about, but i do and i probably always will. and #2. i could tell that mom didn't really want to leave us and felt bad about it, and talking to me longer would only make her feel worse. then i had to wander around the clubhouse a bit before i could the tears under control and down the dry ducts. i don't know how i'm going to feel better about this though. its dumb.