bethany's kind deed: she read my post outloud to me. it's a need i have and she's one of the few who will fulfill it. i'm grateful.

bethany's unkind act: she hung up on me. unkind--don't rewind. bethany i forgive you. there, there. there, there. hush now. shhhhhhhh.

so i've made some progress on my room but the going is slow. there is just so much stuff and nowhere to put it and it weighs me down. the deciding wears on me. it's ridiculous how hard it is to throw things away, or the agonizing over whether to keep it or not. will i regret this? is this object even meaningful to me? can i use it in the future? it's a drear work. i threw away some framed mormon adds, a unused ctr decal, and a tiny photo of president Hinckley and felt guilty for it.

and then there's the walk down memory lane that's inevitable if i ever venture to 'go through stuff'. i packed away lots of my old school notebooks that i can't bear to throw away (there's so much knowledge and learning in there. i might need it again someday). i looked through one of my old malaspina binders. specifically through some of my philosophy assignments (wow, i knew stuff) and my creative writing 'free writes'. they were pretty revealing. i remember that girl. she was me. it was six years ago and seems so far away and yet so just yesterday in my mind. it's true what they say about time. it seems to go faster the older you get. there was so much i wanted to do with my life and i don't know if i'm doing it. it's time to remember my dreams.

it's also time resume my room drudgery.