my wednesday morning sleep-in of the month
i'm listening to somebody's beth orton cd. i don't know beth orton that well but i want to know more. this is because of the song of hers that leif introduced me to. it's not the spotlight.... speaking of leif, i heard from him out of the blue. he was tying up loose ends i think. it was nice because the way he left was hurtful and now i know it didn't have anything to do with me, and that he has his own thing going on, and i could say friend supporting things to him. everyone always has their own things going on. the book amay and i read says you should treat everyone as though they are innocent. i agree.
yesterday i went to see march of the penguins. it was beautiful in story and filming and scenery. it was sad of story too, and lonely at times. it's a lonely landscape, although awe inspiring. and the parent penguin's work is so lonely at times because although they work as a team it's seperate and solo, and results of mistakes are so drastic. the chicks were cute and funny and i worried about them when they were left alone. it was cool to see the penguins underwater. i went right in to the movie from a disconcerting talk with fatima, about my antisocial tendencies. i think it effected the way i felt when i was watching it.
on my way home i stopped at subway and got a sub, went to mac's got money out so i could pay karey back, and bought an oprah magazine. i wasn't feeling that happy. i was feeling a little down, and i was getting into my car, trying to be really careful of my daddylongleg door because there was an suv very close to me. i opened the door and thought that i stabalized it, but getting in must of bumped it and it lightly bumped the suv. i looked up alarmed, and there was a guy in the suv glaring at me. i said "sorry, i'm sorry." to him, but he just kept staring and glaring like he wanted to come give me a piece of his mind and rough me up. i would have almost welcomed it. i just felt like a loser and backed out. then waiting to get onto oak, i was pulled out too far, because usually no one drives in that lane, but a bus was coming so i backed up and i must of scared the car behind me because they honked at me, and i felt like a loser in the eyes of all the world. but i finally got home and ate my sub and that was some comfort. when she was making the sub i was thinking why don't i make subs of my own at home? don't know. then i went to my room and read through some of the oprah magazine. ironically the theme is the joy in the solitary time for yourself. karey came in and asked me how come i spend so much time in my room now. i didn't know what to tell her. i don't feel like watching tv. i feel like reading and writing in my journal, room activities. and i like my room. i'll like it even more when it's done. then it will be a real haven.
last night i fell asleep with the light on. that takes me back to the teen years. i used to always do that. i woke up at three something and turned off the light. i woke up at 8 and wrote in my journal. i wrote about some boundries i need to strengthen and put in place and evaluated the reasons for past mistakes. then i studied James 4:6-10
" But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up."
almost nothing is more comforting to me than the promise that God will draw nigh to me if i draw nigh to him.
yesterday i went to see march of the penguins. it was beautiful in story and filming and scenery. it was sad of story too, and lonely at times. it's a lonely landscape, although awe inspiring. and the parent penguin's work is so lonely at times because although they work as a team it's seperate and solo, and results of mistakes are so drastic. the chicks were cute and funny and i worried about them when they were left alone. it was cool to see the penguins underwater. i went right in to the movie from a disconcerting talk with fatima, about my antisocial tendencies. i think it effected the way i felt when i was watching it.
on my way home i stopped at subway and got a sub, went to mac's got money out so i could pay karey back, and bought an oprah magazine. i wasn't feeling that happy. i was feeling a little down, and i was getting into my car, trying to be really careful of my daddylongleg door because there was an suv very close to me. i opened the door and thought that i stabalized it, but getting in must of bumped it and it lightly bumped the suv. i looked up alarmed, and there was a guy in the suv glaring at me. i said "sorry, i'm sorry." to him, but he just kept staring and glaring like he wanted to come give me a piece of his mind and rough me up. i would have almost welcomed it. i just felt like a loser and backed out. then waiting to get onto oak, i was pulled out too far, because usually no one drives in that lane, but a bus was coming so i backed up and i must of scared the car behind me because they honked at me, and i felt like a loser in the eyes of all the world. but i finally got home and ate my sub and that was some comfort. when she was making the sub i was thinking why don't i make subs of my own at home? don't know. then i went to my room and read through some of the oprah magazine. ironically the theme is the joy in the solitary time for yourself. karey came in and asked me how come i spend so much time in my room now. i didn't know what to tell her. i don't feel like watching tv. i feel like reading and writing in my journal, room activities. and i like my room. i'll like it even more when it's done. then it will be a real haven.
last night i fell asleep with the light on. that takes me back to the teen years. i used to always do that. i woke up at three something and turned off the light. i woke up at 8 and wrote in my journal. i wrote about some boundries i need to strengthen and put in place and evaluated the reasons for past mistakes. then i studied James 4:6-10
" But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up."
almost nothing is more comforting to me than the promise that God will draw nigh to me if i draw nigh to him.
Comments