i've been trying to organize my room. trying. now i've emptied lots of boxes and they're lying out on the back lawn, which makes sarita very nervous. i reassured her that they're on their way to the garage, but i don't think it eased her mind very much. so the boxes are empty but my floor and bed are FULL of stuff. i got waylaid twice. once was steve calling me back. we ended up having a long talk, which didn't end very satisfactorilly, partly because of steve comm's arrival at the door, and partly because we were talking about difficult things. so then i talked to the girls in the living room for a while. nikki and heather had just arrived back from their day out together. then i went back to my room and got all caught up in my missionary memories box. i ended up reading all my letters to the president. i was so young and eager and fresh then. it was neat to track my changes. i definitely grew up a lot then. in november it will have been 10 years since i left on my mission. anyways i can't go to bed because my bed is covered with box guts. what to do? avoidance is best in these situation so i came down here. i'm tired and i'm confused and i'm aching.