had a very studious day due to being ill. this morning i studied my lesson and supplimentary materials, and read about rock solid relationships, and later in the day i listened to both of steve's talk tapes that he lent me a long time ago. it must have been a long time ago because i barely have the faintest recollection of gettting them and wouldn't have remembered at all had he not been reminding me that he wants them back. after all when one demands the return of something one must search the far cobwebbed corners of one's mind to see if one indeed has the item in demand. so i looked for them today and found them where i thought they would be. they were with the rest of the tapes that made the move. some didn't. karey packed them and threw some away and i do remember her asking if she could throw some of my tapes away and luckily i did not allow the throwing away of steve's tapes because then i would be in big trouble. so either i remembered at that time that they were his, or i followed some inspiration to keep them. anyways i'm very glad he lent them to me. i especially liked the one by Elder Maxwell about King Benjamin's talk. besides it being a very good talk by elder Maxwell, it was really nice to hear him speak again.

karey and elicia came home sometime during one of the talks and it sounded like they brought some people home with them because i could hear a lot of talking and laughing going on in the kitchen along with cooking and eating. (ok i couldn't really hear the eating but i assumed it was taking place) . i didn't go out to check. i was in a peaceful zen listening to the apostles and wrapped up in my duvet in a comfortable position not asleep, but close-- it was an ease somehow to my nausea. i didn't want to move or do anything to wreck it. somewhere during the second side of the Elder Scott tape tania came in to check on me. by this time i knew she was there because of her boistrous infectious laugh. she lay on my bed and talked to me for a while and told me about church and then left. she was visitor number one to my self-imposed abolishment to the sick room. after the tapes i started reading C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity a book i bought in march but hadn't started to read until today. it was out because i was lookng some things up that had to do with my lesson. it's a book made up of four books and i've made it midway to book three. i just finished a chapter called Christian Mariage and read the first few paragraphs in the Forgiveness chapter. anyways it's a very good book. C.S. Lewis seems to see things so clearly and has a way of saying things so that they make sense. lately my mind has felt so foggy. heather was my visitor number two. she came up in the break between the end of survivor and the reunion to make sure that we weren't going running tomorrow. she was relieved i think. i think she might be losing the love. definitely the momentum. and my last visitor was elicia. she told me how her lesson went and we talked about the new 'development' in her life and what things could mean and the helpfulness of perspective. she had been talking to jonathon too and so i guess he was here and so was jonah and i also heard randy.

different things have been reminding me of my responsibilites to the people around me. i've noticed that when i get lost in myself if does effect the others in my life. even the good i could be doing when i'm not doing anything bad, i'm just not doing anything.

speaking of not doing anything i don't think i'll be going to work tomorrow and although i wasn't looking forward to a week in the dish pit, i'm looking less forward to a day at home doing nothing. i like my work. AND tomorrow i was supposed to take part in all the interviews we have set up for the new position! and i was looking forward to that. well maybe i will feel better.